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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

son left with trousers on wrong way and unfastened all day

107 replies

Joyx2boys · 27/10/2018 15:19

Hi I received a letter from my child's school which said he would be starting a outdoors activities block with the dates for commencement, ans stated "to help your child successfully participate in sessions can you send them to school with the following items on each of these dates" a list of outdoor clothing followed. there was no time mentioned or if he needed a change of clothing. I dressed him in warm clothes with wellies & put his school clothes in his school bag in case he needed them and took him to school. at 3pm I went to collect him, he came out wearing his school clothes which were filthy and his trousers were on backwards! his head was hung low and he said look and turned around to show me that his trousers were not fastened and his underwear was clearly visible, he said the outdoor learning was after lunch so they told him to get changed when he arrived. he'd put his trousers on the wrong way, but instead of his teacher telling him to go sort them she left him to sit in class all morning like that, and he went to lunch and play like that as well. after lunch when the class was told to change into there outdoor clothing another teacher told him just to put his jacket on and his scarf & gloves, so he spent the entire out door activities trying to stop his trousers falling down. I asked my son how he felt about it and he said he was sad :( I went into school and asked to talk to his teacher who said we assumed you'd know the activities are always in the afternoon, (I don't attend them and have never had a letter saying there in the afternoon) then she said I'm not here to dress your child, she was quite abrupt about this. which made me really angry but I'm not good at confrontation. I phoned and asked the assistant head about it and she said "you spoke to his teacher, i'm not sure what more I can add?". I'm not sure what to do? my child was degraded and he was left at risk of being injured, because he struggled all day to hold his trousers up. he also comes home a lot with his shoes on the wrong feet, i'd spoke to his teacher about that last yr and she say's we like them to have independence. I will not leave it like this but not sure what to do about it? they are still being independent if the teacher say's you have your shoes/trousers on the wrong way swap/turn them around, children's feet are growing having shoes on the wrong feet for long periods of time is surely damaging?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 27/10/2018 16:02

Tipex arrows on the inside of his shoes so that he can line the points up to face each other. (to the inside of his feet). My 2 'got' this but couldn't do the red and green shoe stickers.
If he is that young you can get pull on trousers.

acivilcontract · 27/10/2018 16:03

I reckon the teacher was pretty un child friendly in this instance. One of my pair was always pretty good at getting sorted the other was a disaster. I would expect support from the teacher to help ensure that they were sensibly dressed and not left feeling embarrassed. I would write a letter to the headteacher making it clear that you don't expect the teacher to dress your child but neither do you expect him to be left unsupported with his under wear showing for an afternoon. You will support him at home practising his dressing skills and you expect the school to support him when they have a responsibility of care towards him.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 27/10/2018 16:05

If he could tell he didn’t have his trousers on correctly then he should have corrected the situation himself.

Teachers really don’t have time to dress the children. School is for the sort of education that we, as parents, can’t really provide at home. Things like dressing, personal hygiene, using cutlery etc should be taught at home and really should have been taught before school starts. My DS had trousers with an elasticated waist for school until he could manage fastenings (not until year 2 as he has SEN with motor control problems).

Sirzy · 27/10/2018 16:06

When ds was in year 2 he 1-1 came out and apologised to me for the fact his trousers and jumpers where on back to front. He struggles with dressing and it was part of the role of the 1-1 to help, however that day he was determined to do it alone and was so proud he had managed it she didn’t want to upset him by changing it - and rightly so!

If the child is question was that embarrassed he would have changed them!

XXcstatic · 27/10/2018 16:07

If your DS has additional needs, then YABU, except about drip-feeding

If he doesn't, then pull your finger out, Woman! If he's been having problems with shoes since last year, hasn't it occurred to you to put marks inside them, so he knows which one is which? Sounds as if a lack of gumption runs in the family.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/10/2018 16:08

It’s entirely normal for a child to get dressing himself wrong at this age. In fact as an adult you made a mistake by sending your ds in outdoor clothes instead of in a bag. I assume your ds is 6/7. It is not the responsibility of the teacher to ensure your child is dressed correctly. If they did that for every child 2-3 times a week, when would they ever do any work done?

DaanSaaf · 27/10/2018 16:08

Assuming you're in the UK, the fact you've mentioned last year tells me your ds is at least in year 1 and therefore 5-6 years old. Additional needs aside, he really should be doing these things himself. Teachers have enough to do without dressing 30+ children.

tiredgirly · 27/10/2018 16:09

He really needs to have clothes he can manage himself.I can understand a child putting elastic waisted trousers on back to front, but its a pretty dumb 4 year old that thinks trousers have the zip fly at the back.I can't getr my head round that at all!

However I think it shockin that an adult didn't notice his predicament and tell him to go andf sort himself out.

Letsgetreadytorumba · 27/10/2018 16:10

The teacher shouldn’t have to dress him but a) should have pointed out his trousers were on back to front and
b) he had the appropriate clothing so should have been told to put it on rather than him ending up with filthy trousers

TheFairyCaravan · 27/10/2018 16:10

He must've gone to the toilet at some point in the day so why did he not swap them round? Or he could have done it when the otheres were getting changed.

Teachers haven't got time to be messing about making sure 30 kids have their clothes on the right way and their shoes on the right feet. You need to come up with ideas at home to help him

Holidayshopping · 27/10/2018 16:11

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill!

Presuming your son doesn’t have SEN?

I am assuming he knew his clothes were the wrong way around as he told you they were. Why didn’t he ask to go and change them? Why didn’t he tell someone?

This is just odd.

Amaried · 27/10/2018 16:11

Honestly teachers don't have time to
Re dress each child. I'm sure there was a multitude of back to fronts etc missed buttons etc. you've over reacted here.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 27/10/2018 16:13

A oops oh dear moment rather than make an issue of it.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2018 16:16

A huge opening post full of info apart from your son's age

Still, I think at one point most children have come out of school with their clothes on back to front.

He'll learn from it next time, which is the main thing.

SassitudeandSparkle · 27/10/2018 16:18

My DD used to get her shoes on the wrong feet a lot, I didn't complain about that but I did when they let her run round for the majority of the day wearing her pinafore inside out! It wasn't her usual teacher in the class tbh.

I would query why he didn't get changed after lunch like the rest of the pupils though. I don't think he was at risk of being injured and I wouldn't say that to them!

Thatstheendofmytether · 27/10/2018 16:18

I think its ridiculous that a cjild was left with his trousers inside out, back to front and open all day! The teacher doesn't need to bloody dress him just tell him to turn the round ffs. Why wasnt he to change back into his indoor clothing?
I wpuld be appalled if a school gull of teachers etc had let my child walk arpund like this all day. Some children take a bit longer to learn to do these things properly and when some of them are starting school at 4 years old, it's not surprising that they struggle sometimes.

Ignoramusgiganticus · 27/10/2018 16:19

“Oops oh dear, why didn’t you turn them the right way silly sausage (or other affectionate term of endearment). Next time just sort them out or ask the teacher if she can help you turn them round if you aren’t sure"

In other words make light of it and offer advice for other similar situations they might not be confident in.

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2018 16:35

I don't imagine anyone noticed.

Easy thing to miss when you've got 30 kids to deal with and he probably had his jumper covering the top of his trousers too. Or at least any time he walked past a teacher.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 27/10/2018 16:45

I wouldn't make a big deal of it, but I think the teacher or a TA normally would tell him he needed to turn his trousers around. I also don't understand why, when the other children were sent to change for the activity, the OP's DS was not.

Certainly he should be able to dress himself by 5 or 6, but let's face it, many children (regardless of SEN) are away with the fairies and need telling.

Norestformrz · 27/10/2018 16:48

When did he realise his trousers were on backwards and unfastened?
Why didn't he ask for help if he can't dress himself?

Ohyesiam · 27/10/2018 16:54

Is this reception class?
Spend some time with him over half term reallygetting to grips with dressing.
The school sounds a bit abrupt and dismissive, but since Goves new curriculum , teachers barely have time to do it all, let alone extras.

FortniteIsTheNewCrack · 27/10/2018 17:01

I'm waiting for OP to come back and say DS is 15

WorraLiberty · 27/10/2018 17:03

For FortniteIsTheNewCrack ^^

SoupDragon · 27/10/2018 17:08

I lost count of the times my DC came home incorrectly dressed. I worked on teaching them to do it properly rather than complaining to the teacher.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 27/10/2018 17:10

I'm sorry but school children should be dressing themselves .

May be you should spend some time at home teaching him how to do his trousers.

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