August born boy - dilemma as to when to start school

[LoveMyCoffeeMachine]

Hi everyone, I know this topic has been covered many times now.. But agonising over it and would appreciate advice, experiences and any words of wisdom.

Our sweet, sensitive, eldest, just turned 3 ds is an august born boy - tall for his age, very chatty, at pre school, still a little shy but tends to enjoy himself once there. He is curious, loves learning and I have no concerns about him academically, socially or emotionally.

Our LEA (Hertfordshire) has made it very easy to defer entry so summer borns can start reception age 5. All secondaries will keep to this also so not overly concerned about later down the line.

All the research I read and friends who are infant school teachers and child psychologists all say that we would have nothing to lose and everything to gain from starting him at 5,that research has shown August born boys are more vulnerable to low self esteem, bullying, and that they are more likely to be diagnosed with SEN at primary age. The research has also found that birthdate alone is a significant factor, despite parental support, attention at home, etc.

Aarrggh!! What on earth do we do?? Our pre school is very supportive but also very neutral-they don't want to guide us either way, and say that actually either way could be fine. They also say that in the last year children who have deferred school entry purely because of birth date has tripled in their pre school cohort, and they feel it will become a much more common, mainstream option to take.

No other friends with summer born dcs seem to be worried about this, and are planning on sending them in their chronological year group.

Has anyone started their summer born child in reception age 5 and regretted it? Mums of older summer born boys - do you wish you could have deferred if it had been an option?

DH is very pro him starting later as he feels he would have more confidence and enjoy school more, I am very on the fence but would hate to see him struggling a few years down the line and feel we could have prevented it (at least partly) by taking the choice that we now have of starting reception age 5.

Am feeling this decision we make could have a big impact on his life and am pretty terrifed of making the wrong one.. Youngest in year and possibly struggle as a result (throughout school life) or older and possibly struggle/feel out of touch and perhaps be bored as a result.

I am an overthinker btw in case you haven't picked this up yet!!

Sorry for the rambling post.
Any advice appreciated xx

May is classed as summer born so you can aim for a start at CSA if you want to!

I had 2 Summer borns - One late June the other (eldest) very late August. Neither of them found any difficulty settling in, and both turned out to be high achievers. I honestly don't think it does them any harm to start school with the rest of their 'year'.

Summer born is Apr-aug. Possibly because of the favt these kids used to only go in after easter rather than in sept.
In not sure i would defer an apr. Unless they were SEN or very prem etc.

My 5 year old has just started Reception at CSA. It is undoubtedly the right decision for him. His day at Reception is pretty much play-based and he still complains about the little bit of formal work he does so I can’t imagine that he would have coped with Y1 this year. He shows signs of anxiety when he can’t do things so I was trying to avoid the much more formal learning in Y1.

He’s bright and has always been very interested in letters and numbers and things but he is also quite immature and ‘silly’. He is also ‘spirited’ very highly strung and stubborn (ages 3 and 4 were really awful) and although this was at home rather than Nursery I wanted to give him an extra year to mature.

Placemaking

We deferred our August born twins and they started reception last week. Best decision ever. Last year they where socially and developmentally immature. Didn’t mix with the other 4yr olds at nursery and preferred to play with the younger cohort. The amount of ‘growing up’ they did during their last year in the nursery environment was staggering. They were surrounded by a higher adult/child ratio and in a safe and familiar environment. I wouldn’t have wanted them to do this important devt stage in a class of 30 and being labelled the difficult ones because they took a lot longer to get used to things.

Every parent knows their child and whether delaying reception is right for them.

My DS turned 4 at the end of June and has just started school. I considered deferring but decided against it as his school keeps all of the summer borns together in one class. This allows them to have a more gentle transition from preschool.

He is also very independent and keen, which influenced my decision.

Cornwall this was my experience with DS. He wasn't socially or emotionally mature enough at four and the difference between this and next year has been unbelievable. He was so ready this week and I am so glad we made the decision for him. But every child is different.

Re. Only certain parents asking for this, at the moment it is not widely known about. The government announced the intention to make this part of the admission process in 2015 (just before an election) then left it up to LAs and have not yet done the promised consultation, resulting in a postcode lottery of whether your LA will agree. The just need to make it a mainstream choice, as in other countries, and the numbers would balance out. (Those 16 months younger might also apply to refer year R or they might fit better in the year above).

I wish I could have deferred my summer born DS. At the time it was not really done so much and he would have had to go straight into Year 1, which was why I didn't defer. He has struggled. He is emotionally immature and in addition the curriculum since age related expectations came in is v v challenging for him (he is a year behind where he should be). It has affected his confidence and he thinks he is stupid. I do feel slightly as if the damage is done and it has affected his attitude to school and learning long term.

In contrast my middle DS, early October birthday, was very ready for school, mature and is achieving well and has no issues to speak of.

Go with your instincts.

I don't think you'll find any/many parents giving you an objective view either way, parents aren't very likely to publically admit, or even privately admit they've made a mistake. So make a decision based on what you think is best.

My boys are both summer term children, one April and one end of July. I find it ridiculous that I had the chance to hold my April boy back, but he's already very tall and it was a genuine concern what that would be like with his peers if he was a year older than most of them. He's settled great into reception, and year one, in fact he proudly told us he was the only child in his class to get full marks in the class spelling test today and got a house point for his reading this week. My youngest is 3 and taller than some of the y1s, so another concern for us. My husband is 6'4" and it wasn't always easy growing up.

There is a June boy in the class who has been deferred so will be 7 in June. He looks a lot older, acts a lot older and although I'm sure he gets on well it does seem that he finds the other kids pretty tiresome. He's not socially advantaged by the age gap, at all. All classes will have a lot of summer term kids, so it's never the case that 'all' the other kids are a year older. The only ones that much older are the deferred kids! The older ones are less likely to get attention as will naturally be able to do more physically, and there is a sense of otherness that I see. I know of a few people who have deferred kids at different schools and they don't always enjoy an extra year of preschool or the immature games played by their peers.

I'm an August child, in fact 10 weeks premature and should have been an October baby. I was always happy to be the youngest but never felt it, I was bright and just got on with things.

My DS is late August.
I did not defer.
I will be dropping him off at University tomorrow

I know of a few people who have deferred kids at different schools and they don't always enjoy an extra year of preschool or the immature games played by their peers.

Also it then depends how good the schools are at stretching the more able kids.

DS is technically a summer born (April, though 2 months premature), though was literally ready for school on his 4th birthday. Now in Yr4 he is one of the top achievers in his (3 class) year but I do wonder what would have happened if he had been one of the oldest in his year (either due to delaying or actually being born at a different time of year). Would the school had really been able to set him challenging work or would he have got bored.

My son has just started school and was born end of July and I am an August baby myself (couldn't defer then!)

I think a lot is down to the child however my son was totally ready and he absolutely loves school and is thriving

Personally I wouldn't defer, they need the stimulation and social skills with children his own age, why would you deny that from them

If anything I think deferring holds them back as already after 3 weeks he's changed and become 'more grown up'