August born boy - dilemma as to when to start school

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Hi everyone, I know this topic has been covered many times now.. But agonising over it and would appreciate advice, experiences and any words of wisdom.

Our sweet, sensitive, eldest, just turned 3 ds is an august born boy - tall for his age, very chatty, at pre school, still a little shy but tends to enjoy himself once there. He is curious, loves learning and I have no concerns about him academically, socially or emotionally.

Our LEA (Hertfordshire) has made it very easy to defer entry so summer borns can start reception age 5. All secondaries will keep to this also so not overly concerned about later down the line.

All the research I read and friends who are infant school teachers and child psychologists all say that we would have nothing to lose and everything to gain from starting him at 5,that research has shown August born boys are more vulnerable to low self esteem, bullying, and that they are more likely to be diagnosed with SEN at primary age. The research has also found that birthdate alone is a significant factor, despite parental support, attention at home, etc.

Aarrggh!! What on earth do we do?? Our pre school is very supportive but also very neutral-they don't want to guide us either way, and say that actually either way could be fine. They also say that in the last year children who have deferred school entry purely because of birth date has tripled in their pre school cohort, and they feel it will become a much more common, mainstream option to take.

No other friends with summer born dcs seem to be worried about this, and are planning on sending them in their chronological year group.

Has anyone started their summer born child in reception age 5 and regretted it? Mums of older summer born boys - do you wish you could have deferred if it had been an option?

DH is very pro him starting later as he feels he would have more confidence and enjoy school more, I am very on the fence but would hate to see him struggling a few years down the line and feel we could have prevented it (at least partly) by taking the choice that we now have of starting reception age 5.

Am feeling this decision we make could have a big impact on his life and am pretty terrifed of making the wrong one.. Youngest in year and possibly struggle as a result (throughout school life) or older and possibly struggle/feel out of touch and perhaps be bored as a result.

I am an overthinker btw in case you haven't picked this up yet!!

Sorry for the rambling post.
Any advice appreciated xx

Just checked and the facebook group is called 'flexible school admissions for summer borns'. Good luck!

Lisaquin01 and Seniorschoolmum thank you for your responses.. So glad your girls have started well and also envy your strong decision making skills!! Am possibly opening a can of worms here but would possibly be less worried if I had a summer born dd instead as the youngest boys seem to get the worst of the outcomes in the research.. But what do I know.. It is a minefield all of this really! Xx

Haha yep I want a spreadsheet too!

Holasoydora thank you for fb info 😊

I agree.
I have a jun born yr2 dd. She was very bright so i thought it would be ok. Well it's hard to be 6m (to be average), or 12m + advanced (to be top). And i think being bright but immature isnt a good combo as usually brighter kids would behave more mature. And not want to play with immature ones.
Well she must be one of the top readers (of 60) in her year. There are a couple (sept) borns who seemed to be doing better.
But im just not sure doing SATs at 6 is very fair. And the concentration to do the maths is just not there.
Also for her she has been basically tired during yr r and 1. And only started some clubs this yr.

I do see what pp is saying about 16m age gap, but dont think it is relevant at all. The point is that all kids develope differently so it isnt likely to be a 16m gap as the deferred ones would fit nicely into a 12m gap. But anyway according to teachers the gap would be much bigger than 12m usual actual age gap. I think this is certainly true. As dd is -9m from oldest but easily is equal to oldest or exceeding them into the year above (for reading).
As are some of the kids below for various things probably more a level of start of year 1.
Because as well development is based on gestation prem kids could be several months early so would fall more naturally by due date.
The gov wants to cut cost. And needing less unnecessary intervention for kids who would have been fine in the year below is a good saving.

Primary school teacher here who would have loved to defer DD1, who would have benefited massively from a later entry to school, but it wasn't possible at the time in our LA. Wrestled with same decision for DD2, but felt she was emotionally robust enough, outgoing enough and mature enough to manage. Yet, at a Meet the Teacher meeting for her new Year 1 class this week, I noticed that the groups for Maths and English which were posted on the wall, although not actually labelled according to ability, reflected a polarisation between early and late birthdays, in as much as the little violet bubble furthest to the left had many of the older classmates in it, and the red bubble furthest to the right had DD and most of her summer born friends in it (after a year of whole class reception birthday parties you get a pretty good idea of which child is born when ). A cursory glance at the displays of snippets of writing and annotated drawings (all clearly labelled) confirmed that 'purples' were indeed streets ahead, and that the children at the other end of the spectrum in DD2's red group were more experimental in their approach to writing. I don't think it is a coincidence. In my mind, the idea of 'age related expectations' for young children is silly, as DD's oldest classmate is nearly a year older than her, which is a massive difference when you are only just 5 and just turned 6. It is not 'age related' but cohort related in reality; expectations of what should be achieved over the course of an academic year in any given year group, irrespective of the age of the pupil in question. DD2 might not be dazzling her teacher with her reading, letter formation or counting, but I think, given her late birthday, she is just about right where she should be.
Going back to DD1, on a serious note, I believe, with the benefit of hindsight, that a later entry to school for this sensitive and altogether more delicate child, would have saved her from some quite serious school anxiety and self esteem issues, stemming from always perceiving herself as on the back foot, playing catch up with her older class mates.

My just turned 5yo started reception last year at 4 and 2 weeks. He was (and still is) one of the most confident in the class, his learning is on par with the Easter born children but does lack the maturity of the autumn borns.
He was more than ready to attend school and I felt there would always be a youngest in the year.
Looking at the new reception children starting I am happy with our decision. He does seem older and more mature than those, even though some may be 5 this week!
He is actually 1 of 5 end of August children in his year who are all doing well. I also felt that he may be open to bullying later on due to being a year lower than he should be.

My son was born in early July and I wish I'd have had the chance to delay his school start date as he quite young for his age emotionally and socially.
I think he would have enjoyed school a bit more if he had started later

My daughter who turned 4 on the 17th of August has just started reception. She's been going to nursery from 7.30am-6pm 3 days a week from being 8 months old. It was hard, she cried, I cried and it took her a few days to grasp the routine. But she was so ready for it. We're end of week 2 now and she's settled in phenomenally I'm so proud of her. I think it really just depends on your child as an individual.

I am also August born (30/8 so right at the end) and never struggled or even really realised I was the youngest until I was in secondary school. I did struggle with anxiety through the last years of high school but who knows if that's related.

I don't think any harm would be done from delaying it for a year, but equally it may be frustrating to your child if they are mentally ready and have to wait another year.

It really does depend on the child - I am August born and it would have completely being the wrong decision for me.

Having seen DD go through to Year 5 the gulf was there until Year 2 (probably the end) but by Year 3 it had gone and made no difference at all whatsover and you could no longer tell.

DS has a boy in his class who was August born and delayed and it was absolutely the right decision for him. Another friend also August born is perfectly happy in Year 2

Defer defer defer! Reception is play based but there's also a lot of phonics etc and the huge jump in year one at just 5 is just as important to think about. I'm in Herts with a 3 year old too and so grateful we can easily defer. Although we may need to move to Manchester in a year or so and they are very very difficult. They will just refuse 😡

I'm reading this with interest as I have a premature, June born, boy! He's only just two, so I don't need to worry about a decision yet, but I'm really worried about how he will do at school aged just four.

I'm not sure how to phrase my question... how do you take prematurity into account? Mine should have been late July, so still summer, but does prematurity have an effect? Confused!

Utterly child dependent. I have a September nearly 4 yo DS and I am so relieved he has another year before school as he not remotely ready. Equally his August born cousin started this year and is doing superbly well - but months ago it was clear he was streets ahead of DS in maturity and learning and would do fine going to school this year. If DS had been 3 weeks older August born, no question we would have delayed.

I have a son just starting yr 4, he is July 31st birthday and has not found things easy, I often think he would have been better off being 6 weeks younger and the eldest. I would defer him if I were you

My DS was 4 on 13 Aug and is a week into reception, he is the smallest in the class by far rocking his age 2/3 uniform and the youngest but he's absolutely loving it :)

He was at a school pre school for a year before this so was used to the set up and is confident at being apart from us, was one of the only ones not crying on the first day and is coming out absolutely thrilled that he's starting to be taught phonics.

He's gagging to learn to read and write and desperately wants homework (that'll change I'm sure!)

Like a PP said, there has to be a cut of somewhere and somebody has to be the youngest....

Also Herts, but didn't defer my summer born this year as she is so "socially" ready, and when we spent some time with summer born children the year below who she would have been in nursery with, they were total babies compared to her, and their speech/language/play was so so different to hers, and it felt like it would be holding her back to put her in a year group with these kids.

Also, my understanding of the Secondary schools was that none of the Herts grammar schools have confirmed they would keep a child out of cohort - and two in particular (Watford Grammar girls and boys), have said they will only admit in their chronological year. Herts policy to let a child defer is not entrenched in law, it's not a government policy, so any school that is its own admission authority wouldn't have to keep the child out of cohort if they thought it would skew their results etc. If I'd have been 100% confident about the secondary school thing, it might have relaxed me more, but from all my research, even in Herts it was very much "Well I'm sure it will all be fine and normal by the time these children reach secondary school age, and the Secondary schools will probably cooperate at that time even if they aren't now, but no guarantee"

I have an August born. He wasn’t deferred (didn’t know it was an option!) and is now year 1. He’s very popular, hardworking and on target in all areas (ahead in maths apparently, and has “well considered opinions which he clearly thinks through). No issues with keeping up, lack of maturity or being one of the youngest.
I also have a September born. He is now in year 8. Since starting he’s been less mature than peers and more easily distracted (though fine academically). Had he been born on his August due date I think I’d have assumed this was why he struggles in some areas, but in fact he’s the oldest in his year.
I think if your child is ready, they’re ready. I wouldn’t defer based on birthday, more on ability to concentrate and to relate to peers.

We live in an eleven plus area and deferring is notoriously difficult, virtually unheard of. I assume this is because of the problems it would cause when it comes to sitting the eleven plus. My main concern would be with an increasing number of secondary schools becoming academies what would happen at the time of secondary transfer, although you don't think that would be a problem and, obviously, you know your area best.

A school would have to prove it's in the child's best interests to skip a year. Which it obviously isn't. And schools are so obsessed with results that it would be madness for them to insist a pupil misses a year of education.

The summerborn difference is practically non existent in countries where there is a much more sensible school starting age and until things change here I will fight for my children to start at a more appropriate age.

Thank you so much for your replies everyone. Definately food for thought whatever your stance.

Interesting Shantatto.. I didn't know that about other countries not experiencing summer born differences x

I do recommend joining the flexible school admissions for summerborns Facebook page. It has all the info and stats and research etc you'd ever want!

It's weird the Watford grammars are adamant they won't accept out of cohort when the county council who I assume deals with their admissions is permissive at primary school. I wouldn't want my children to go through the mad tutoring and pressure of taking 11+ anyway.

My son was the youngest in his school last year, and my dd is a July baby. When they started they were ready, I used to take them to Sunday school which was run by 2 primary teachers. I discussed my fears with them and they told me my children were more than ready, as they would sit and listen, do whatever activity was set for them and although they couldn’t read or write would concentrate for a long time on colouring in / sticking and gluing.

I found out at end of reception that 1/3 of my boys class are all summer born. So by fluke he is thankfully not alone.

Do you know any teachers that may offer an independent opinion?

I found that letting ds have a little nap on the sofa after school really helped, and I’m glad he didn’t have to go to after school club.

In our area summer born children get extra points on their 11+ to counteract the disadvantage.

My August born DC has just started Reception at 5 and a few days. For us it has been a really positive decision. For more infomation check out the facebook group. Flexible admission for Summer Borns. Lots of help and advice to be had there.

captainproton thank you! How do ypu feel your son would have been if there hadn't been a high number of summer borns? Difficult to answer I guess xx

Holymosquito glad to hear! What made you defer - was it an easy decision?