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Original poster

Reception hours and settling in period - what is normal? what is acceptable?

70 replies

disillusionedparent · 12/09/2018 22:04

Hello
I am new here, but I am hoping to get a bit of help and information on how different schools manage the hours/days for children starting in reception.

Our 4yr old boy (5yrs old in mid October) started in reception last week. It seems like a nice school, the teacher and assistants are really nice, and he enjoys it there - until today.

He did 3 days last week (8.50am - 3.20pm).
They expect him to do a full week, with full hours from now on.

The problem is he is totally shattered, his behaviour at home has been awful over the past week with constant melt-downs, his toileting has gone back to how he was a year ago (mucky pants 4 days out of 6 so far), and we are pretty exhausted and stressed too.

This morning he said he didn't want to go to school, and it took us a long time to persuade him to get dressed and get to school (we only got him to the school by saying we were going to the library next door to the school). He got really upset and screamed when we left him there and had to be dragged into the classroom by 2 members of staff.

We had already asked the school to reduce the number of days to 3 days for now, spread out over the week. We had a meeting at the school today and they basically said that as he is ok at school they wouldn't agree to that.
I am aware that they have had a number of the other children falling asleep in the class and going a bit nuts and having to be sent home. So far ours has behaved perfectly.

I am not willing to accept their decision, so I am hoping to get a better idea of how other schools behave and how they treat their new 4 and 5 year old children, before I have another go.

What hours do your school expect the reception children to do ?

What sort of settling in period did you have ?

If feel that what the school are expecting these very young children to cope with is excessive and potentially damaging.
I am very concerned at the lack of attention to the general well-being of the children (they only seem bothered by what happens within school).

What do other people think ?

Many Thanks

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dementedpixie · 12/09/2018 22:07

Our school starts full days from day 2 - 8.55 until 3pm

ifiwasabutterfly · 12/09/2018 22:09

Mine both started on full days straight away, there wasn't another option.

grasspigeons · 12/09/2018 22:10

Ours have 3 short days this week and then full time from next week. A very smslk number of parents organise to pick their child up at the end of lunch a couple of times a week which they do until they turn 5 or until they don't want to anymore. I think missing whole days would be very disruptive as they do all the learning in the mornings (phonics)

Fitzsimmons · 12/09/2018 22:11

Full days from the start here. Honestly everything you wrote about his behaviour was pretty standard amongst DS and friends in his reception class. It gets easier after the first half term. Flowers

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 12/09/2018 22:12

Full days from straight away.

There is an option to do mornings only - either to half term or Xmas but it is rarely taken up - generally only by kids with quite significant special needs.

BangingOn · 12/09/2018 22:12

DS has done a full day from day one, including wraparound care. He was in their pre-school last year with a similar routine which probably helped. He is tired, but not overly so.

neddle · 12/09/2018 22:14

Your child does not have to be in school until the beginning of the term after he turns five: so January 2019.
You can take him into school whatever and however many days you wish until then. Whether that’s a couple of full days a week or part days etc.
The school may not be happy about it, but they can’t force you to send him in.

blondeemily · 12/09/2018 22:15

Reception children at the school I work also start full time from day one. I have never heard of any problems with this.

As far as I understand, children are not legally required to be in school until they turn 5. So I'm not sure how far your school could go to stop you should you insist on part time hours really.

Josieannathe2nd · 12/09/2018 22:18

I know that the norm is to do five full days immediately but until the term after they are 5 there isn’t a legal obligation for them to be educated and school won’t be fined (or you!) for their absence.

I e-mailed school a short note saying that for my sons social and emotional well being he needed a transition period and suggested he is does 4 days a week till Christmas. They agreed and it’s not been a problem. I did similar with my elder son and he has been in school full time since Easter of his reception and loves school and thrives there. Just because they don’t have significant additional needs doesn’t mean that different arrangements can be beneficial. I feel fortunate that I work part time so was able to make it happen.

I know all children adjust, but if you can make the process easier for them then I think it’s better all round. I also don’t like to give my child a choice over whether to go to school or not as they’d choose to stay home (-and then be bored!) so haveing set days or half days I think if a good idea.

Good luck!

SweetheartNeckline · 12/09/2018 22:20

Yeah sounds quite normal. We have got October half term booked off, DH off work too, and are planning to do nothing bar watch TV in our PJs as DD2 will be at the end of her first half term.

Other tips - easy to eat tea and let manners go, plenty of chill out time in front of TV / just playing, keep after-school clubs to an absolute bare minimum, keep weekends boring. Cut him slack, he will regress in some areas (DD2 wants me to dress her for now, and that's ok).

Went through it 2 years ago with my eldest. I got DD1 back and she was lovely again by the January. It's very, very hard going.

School isn't compulsory until the term after their 5th birthday (so from January for your boy) - keep him off the occasional Friday if you need to.

BackforGood · 12/09/2018 22:23

Wish mine had - their school faffed about all over the place. Very unsettling, particularly for all the dc who had been used to full days at Nursery.
However, these are all very individual to the school.

Essexgirlupnorth · 12/09/2018 22:26

My daughter 4 turns 5 early October did two full days last week and is on her first full week this week including wrap around care three days.

She was obviously tired tonight but no other problems. Do find it weird that her school doesn't tell you how they are getting on.

QueenOfMyWorld · 12/09/2018 22:30

Mine is shattered too,he started full days from the very start which was last Wednesday.Ive put him to bed earlier the last few nights which seems to be helping

nuttyknitter · 12/09/2018 22:31

My DGD school does first week 8.50 -12, following week 8.50 - 1 (including lunch), third week full time. Not popular with parents who need the childcare but a nice gentle settling in.

galaxy101 · 12/09/2018 22:32

Mine does full days, has since she started a couple weeks back. She also goes to wrap around care so most days does 7:30-5:30.

She was shattered for the first week but she's adjusting now, I make sure she goes to sleep at a reasonable time and at weekends she gets lie ins if she wants them.

Give it time, kids need to adjust to these things.

Bythebeach · 12/09/2018 22:32

My first born was an April baby and okay doing 4.5 days (all reception at that school did half days on Friday) from the start. My second, also April born, did half days pretty much the entire first term. My third, Autumn born, has really struggled with tiredness but managed almost full time with collection at midday once or occasionally twice a week when he was exhausted. He has just started year 1 and is again struggling with exhaustion to the extent I am considering letting him stay home tomorrow as he got home today and went straight to bed at 4.30pm! You know your child and he isn't even compulsory school age yet - I do think you need to be cautious tricking him that he is going to the library to get him to school as he will be more upset and will surely not trust you in future.

blondeemily - in all 3 of my kids' reception classes, a significant portion of the parents have expressed anxiety over the utter exhaustion of their kids in the first term. Is it really unheard of at your school for full-time to be demanding for 4 year olds? I'm really surprised.

QueenOfMyWorld · 12/09/2018 22:34

Essex mine doesn't tell us anything either,it's annoying tbh

VforVienetta · 12/09/2018 22:34

Full time from the start here - 9-3.
Their class seems to be coping well, but they're all ravenous straight after pickup, so snacks are essential or it all goes pear-shaped very quickly.

Kraggle · 12/09/2018 22:36

Straight into full days here too. Our school feels they settle in better that way.

DrCoconut · 12/09/2018 22:36

DS2 started reception full time from day 1. I was in maternity leave so got to pick him up every day. He loved the short days and I never noticed him being tired really. But he was used to being at nursery for a full work day. DS3 will go part time to school nursery then full time to reception. I will have to use a childminder for pick ups on my days I work. Again he's used to doing a full day so it won't bother him. I can't take term time holiday so I'm very glad there's no faffing around.

Igottastartthinkingbee · 12/09/2018 22:38

My son was 4yrs and 2months when he started reception. He did one week of half days and full time hours from then on. My son also had a rough time settling in, although his biggest wobbles happened later on in the year. At that point the school had their emotional care (can’t think of the right term!) person come and speak to him about what was bothering him and how they could fix it. He improved after that.

Unfortunately I think the school will say that they’d rather he did full time hours just for the sake of being in a routine and learning how school works. Looking back I’m glad I persisted with DS but it wasn’t easy. And don’t trick your child about where you’re going because then he won’t trust you. To be honest I would rather turn up late (if it took longer to talk him round/bribe him up to school) than lie or miss school altogether. Bribery should work a treat at that age. And after school just give him a snack/or early tea and let him chill out with the tv. Don’t try to make conversation with him because his brain is being bombarded with new experiences. He’ll come round but school is a big change and it’ll take time. Good luck.

shelikesemwithamoustache · 12/09/2018 22:38

My daughter has just started and it’s full days from the start (thank goodness otherwise I’m not sure we could pick her up) and she also does after school care 5 days a week too, so 8.30am-6pm. She has been fine. She is five in May.

Paddingtonthebear · 12/09/2018 22:40

One and a half weeks of half and full days then into full time which is 8.35am to 3pm. That was last year, as far as I know no one fell asleep or got sent home due to behaviour issues in our reception class. There were children who cried every morning at drop off and some of those are still going it at the start of year one. School will know how to manage it.

MrsPworkingmummy · 12/09/2018 22:42

Ofsted recently published their 'Bold Beginnings' study which focuses on outstanding EYFS provision. They recommend that schools avoid a staggered start for reception pupils as this causes more problems than not. It's an interesting read. Remember , reception is not compulsory so you might have flexibility in this regard when negotiating with the school. I expect they'll be following the Bold Beginnings guidance however.

Pastaagain78 · 12/09/2018 22:43

What neddle said.