Reception hours and settling in period - what is normal? what is acceptable?

[disillusionedparent]

Hello
I am new here, but I am hoping to get a bit of help and information on how different schools manage the hours/days for children starting in reception.

Our 4yr old boy (5yrs old in mid October) started in reception last week. It seems like a nice school, the teacher and assistants are really nice, and he enjoys it there - until today.

He did 3 days last week (8.50am - 3.20pm).
They expect him to do a full week, with full hours from now on.

The problem is he is totally shattered, his behaviour at home has been awful over the past week with constant melt-downs, his toileting has gone back to how he was a year ago (mucky pants 4 days out of 6 so far), and we are pretty exhausted and stressed too.

This morning he said he didn't want to go to school, and it took us a long time to persuade him to get dressed and get to school (we only got him to the school by saying we were going to the library next door to the school). He got really upset and screamed when we left him there and had to be dragged into the classroom by 2 members of staff.

We had already asked the school to reduce the number of days to 3 days for now, spread out over the week. We had a meeting at the school today and they basically said that as he is ok at school they wouldn't agree to that.
I am aware that they have had a number of the other children falling asleep in the class and going a bit nuts and having to be sent home. So far ours has behaved perfectly.

I am not willing to accept their decision, so I am hoping to get a better idea of how other schools behave and how they treat their new 4 and 5 year old children, before I have another go.

What hours do your school expect the reception children to do ?

What sort of settling in period did you have ?

If feel that what the school are expecting these very young children to cope with is excessive and potentially damaging.
I am very concerned at the lack of attention to the general well-being of the children (they only seem bothered by what happens within school).

What do other people think ?

Many Thanks

I wish I hadn’t read this, my 4 year, 3 month old DD3 does a full time induction day on FRiday and FT from Monday. .She is my last and it’s the end of an era a era it’s the end of an era. NO idea how she’ will be, the first, two did half days until Christmas which was a nightmare for parents, but lovely for the children.

Many parents complained about part time hours. Both of mine were 8.50 to 3.00 every day from the start as is he School where I currently work. Your DC will get used to it

2 half days then full time. Mine were in nursery 8-5 prior to starting school so I'd have been pretty annoyed if part time had been dragged out longer than 2 days. Most parents work I imagine so half days are a real faff for most. Most kids adapt pretty quickly. In think your being a bit precious to be honest.

My eldest did full days from day one.

If your DC is OK in school then I would leave him be. IME it's constant chopping and changing of days and inconsistency in when they are going that makes children more unsettled. If they know they're going every day, they get used to it quicker.

Eldest was tired and a bit unsettled for the first few weeks, but it's standard and normal. It would take you as an adult a few weeks to settle into a new job and that would effect your mood outside of work too.

Our school allows young (Spring/Summer born) to go half days (5 times a week) until the end of the term that they turn 5. (Nobody took them up on this and I have an August born)

Full days from the start, in fact my two also went to breakfast and afterschool club a couple of times a week so were there from 8am till 6pm - but as they had been in nursery for a few years prior to school they were used to long days

DC 1&3 whole days from start 8.45-3.15 / 8.15-3.30 and DC2 did mornings only until the summer term.

DC1 is in year 3. Her school starts full time from the first day of school. She and everyone else coped. She’s still tired after school now and she is 7.

Two half days then full days then on.

My DS has just turned four. He is absolutely shattered- falling asleep after school and not wanting to eat etc. It’s way too much for him.

Going to give it another week and then speak to the school regarding perhaps cutting down on hours for a bit.

He needs it

My son has been in sessional care prior to school- didn’t go to Nursery so not sure to long days at all

My DD is 4y2m is doing 840 - 1145 3 days, then up until 1pm for 4 days so she gets used to lunchtime. Then finally moves to full days. Tbh it's a pita but I think it's better for her.

"You can take him into school whatever and however many days you wish until then"

That's not quite right.

If you want a part time schedule, it has to be with the agreement of the school, so it can provide a suitable education on that basis (not just dealing with random attendance).

You do not have to send him at all until he is of compulsory school age, and you can keep the place open for him to start later (by April). But if you choose to start school before compulsory age to he DC shouid attend regularly, and all attendance management measures (except fines) can be used. But schools generally don't go down that route, preferring a part-item schedule so everyone plan round it.

We had 3 part days (none for eldest) and I do remember how tired they were, despite having been in full-time nursery.but they adjusted rapidly. Most do. So your school might be expecting that in him too. But once you know it's really not happening, stand your ground and insist on parttime.

Until then, just tea bath and bed on school nights.

It's full days from day 1 here too. My daughter has just started. She's only just 4 and was prem so should really be in the year below. However she seems to be coping ok, albeit absolutely shattered after school! We're keeping it very low key for her after school - quiet play or tv.

Ours start with one week either afternoon or morning (decided by teacher then a week of mornings and then a week of mornings and lunch then all day.
It has been ok, but so many parents complaining about child care it may change next year (this year half days were shortened as every other year they haven't been full time until half term.)

My DD is in her second week of half days and it's a nightmare she's used to full time nursery and this is a backward step. She keeps asking why she can't stay all day. She has however been very tired everyday and I think more then anything it's the mental exhaustion of so much new information. This will pass soon.

She started nursery afternoons only at 3 then when she qualified for 30hrs (it was introduced after 2 terms) she went full time 8.45-3.30. She was exactly the same when she went full time, grumpy, tired and really hungry. Key was to give her a snack straight after school to avoid a hunger meltdown, then a big tea and lots of chill time and we brought her bedtime forward an hour. She also dropped a after school club. She was back to herself in a couple of weeks and has never looked back.

You know your child better then anyone on here so it's up to you but I would be tempted to continue with full time if you can make accommodations during his home time as they do actually learn so much in reception, my niece has learnt to read and write and she has hearing loss so it's harder for her, her friends have advanced even further and that's simply with just one year at school.

Ours do full time from day 1, mainly because a lot of parents complained about staggered starts due to childcare reasons. I’m a SAHM with a younger daughter too so it doesn’t matter too much to me but I think doing weeks of part time would have been more disruptive for her. She is knackered but we’re just keeping everything out of schooo low key (we’ve took a couple of week break from swimming lessons for example).
We’re into week 3 now (started the day after bank holiday).

Had 3 over different systems. First was a summer baby when they still did s January start. She went full time from day 1 but it did her no favours to miss a whole term of school, then spend the second term (her first) settling in and only have term 3 in Reception learning. Next went full time from September - was fine. Last went in in the September by which thins they’d introduced the phasing in start, which took about 4 weeks in all. It was a pain for childcare and then they still go through the super tired bit when the days go to full time. In fact some kids are pretty shattered for most of infants....

My ds started on full days from day one when he was in reception.

My DD has 3 half days and then is onto full days. She’ll have breakfast and after school clubs too in a week 3-4 days a week.

We both work so are pleased there isn’t a protracted settling period (one of the schools we had considered had a month of half days). She’s been used to nursery up to now so I think she’ll be fine.

My DS is 5 mid October too, he started reception this week too.
Monday to Wednesday it was 8.40-11.30 and today and tomorrow he will be doing 8.40-1.00 so he can have dinner at school too
He’s been at the school nursery and this week was to get all the reception children settled in
Next week will be a full week

Mine is due to start full days on Monday, she's just turned 4. Will see how she gets on but she's used to nursery so should be fine.

For every parent who wants a staggered start, you’ll get one that wants full time from
Day 1!

Don't forget that they are so tired because EVERYTHING is new. New clothes, new faces, new rooms, new routines, new rules on behaviour etc ..

They are absorbing an incredible amount of information and that takes processing and makes them tired, which usually affects behaviour. Cutting their days down won't necessarily make that process easier - only delay it.

I found from our experience that full days helped them settle in quicker and they got used to the routine faster.

The children who finished at lunchtime often missed out on some of the more 'fun' arts, crafts, PE type stuff as the mornings were phonics and maths, and also found making friends a bit slower.

I would really recommend persevering and keep talking to the school. They do care, they've just got a lot of children to care about and may just worry that you're being a bit anxious or over protective (rightly or wrongly!).

DD is also 5 in.october started on Friday she has had mornings only 8.45-1150 And as of tomorrow is in for a full day.

DD did a week of afternoons, a week of mornings then full time. It was too staggered and disruptive.

DS did a week of mornings and then full time. This is what the current reception are doing (so will start full time on Monday),

It is really tough they have so much to learn and so much to do - but I do think its like ripping on a plaster in someways its just to do it.

DS (a similar birthday) did find it hard on and off the whole first term and a bit (he was rundown so he was ill over October half term) but he did get used to it