To anyone considering private school....

[JBFLBR]

I’ve been reading posts regarding private schools for a few weeks and understandably there are lots of mixed reviews.

Due to an incident at the primary school my son is due to start in September I reluctantly (due to the price of the fees) started considering the independent sector.

To say I was blown away was an understatement. What an education these children are receiving!!!

So to anyone considering, definitely go and have a look around. We are now certainly looking at what sacrifices we can make to ensure we can afford this route!

Depends on the Private school and the state school. I can think of a couple of private schools that are pretty poor value for money. Nothing special about them at all, teaching or facilities! I can think of a few state schools that are wonderful with great opportunities for all and superb teachers. Not every Private school comes up smelling of roses!

It really varies. It simply isn’t true to say that a private school will always be better than a state school. Prior to the last few years, I’d have argued a state primary education was far better in general due to breadth, non-cramming, and a good socio-economic mix.

In my experience private schools look lovely to look round with all the facilities etc but that doesn’t actually mean that much.

I went to state and private schools, am a teacher who has taught at state and private schools and have a child who is going to private school from next year. I’d love to say private was best (even just in this one case) and know I wasn’t just flushing tens of thousands of pounds down the toilet but I can’t know that and neither can anyone else.

@scipio you do realise that private schools don't cram right? That is a state school thing, no doubt a result of constant tests for offstage rankings.

Er Dairy, our local private primary crams for the 11+ for 2-3 years. State schools in our area however don't do any prep for the 11+.

If you can afford it do it. Smaller classes, one to one attention in many cases, exposure to the arts, all kinds of sports, great facilities, Better pastoral care, bad behavior rarely tolerated and if your child is not particularly academic they've got more of a chance to explore other areas of interests that play to their strengths by teachers that aren't stretched to the limit.

Dairy I was referring to cramming for CE and other more academic prep practices. I’ve seen that from my own experience of when they come to me in secondary. And, as bluesky says, in grammar areas there is huge cramming. Again, I know this from professional experience.

I was bullied in both my private schools. They also still had some poor teachers and disruptive pupils. Under the gloss it's not always so wonderful.

I’m sure all private schools are not the same, however the school I have just visited is everything I would want from an education and more.

I work in an all through private (secondary). I do not send my reception DD to the school and send her to our local infant school instead. I feel that she gets as good an education at her state school, has better outdoor facilities (their own forest school, 3 amazing playgrounds) a link to the local high school which means they can use their fields and a diverse and interesting friendship group that is big enough to allow for changes.
She doesn't get: as much attention, or Spanish lessons which would be nice but not worth the extra money st this age imo. She also had local friends which is very valuable compared to the private where the children are spread over two counties. Swings and roundabouts- my local offerings would have to be appalling for me to consider this at primary level for a non SN child.

I’ve had 2 in prep schools and if anyone believes they don’t cram then they’re living in la la land. If a school finishes at 11 they love and die by their 11+ results. From year 5 until January of year 6 it’s maths English reasoning, maths English reasoning. Extra lessons at lunch time for those sitting the grammar exams in the September, the first term of year 6full on testing daily in school, practice papers every weekend, timed comprehensions, practice papers over Xmas, interview practice. It makes SATS look like a walk in the park.

I’m sure it’s much different in through schools but in schools which finish at 11 the year have to do this or they lose children in year 4 / early year 5 when parents panic the children won’t be prepared.

I’ve no regrets about choosing a prep, and this was not an academic one. The opportunities were fantastic but there are still the same old issues. Some of the teachers are mediocre, some of the children are less than well behaved, the kids can still be mean, the same kids get the house captain / lead roles etc but overall yes, it’s fantastic but it’s certoanly not the be all and end all

I love this idea that preps all have amazing facilities. Two near me have hardly any playing space, no decent art or music facilities and one is so small it has fairly useless sport! No great 11 plus results from one of them either. People still pay for mediocrity just to be with “people like us”. They then realise it’s mediocre and leave for better preps at about y3.

Ds1 wouldn't get into private school as he wouldn't pass the entrance exam. They wouldn't want him either as he is autistic, dyspraxic and has add.

I went to a perfectly fine private school. Some teachers were bloody awful, and wouldn’t have got though the door of a state school.

The thing about ‘not tolerating’ poor behaviour is interesting - this usually means that children with SEND must be of the passive and quiet variety only. If you let ok with perpetuating inequality for fairly little future payout (there’s little evidence that selective schools breed better children; they’re already smarter), then super.

A colleague who works part time is doing 3 weeks at a private school. All their proper science teachers left so they are going in 2 days a week. So those kids who's parents are paying a fortune are going to have a specialist teacher for 6 days...

Some private schools are great. Others are not. Do remember that private school spend vast sums of money making themselves look attractive to new parents. They have to or they would not survive.

I was miserable at private school. It was one of the best schools in the area. Lovely facilities, beautiful grounds, small classes, excellent exam results, glossy prospectus - all of that. It was also intensely competitive and hugely pressurised. Bullying was rife but SLT would have denied it until they were blue in the face. I came to hate it. I developed an eating disorder. My parents made huge sacrifices for me to attend and I did get great exam results. But I’m not convinced the blows to my mental health were worth it.

So make sure you choose carefully. One visit and a look round lovely facilities is not enough. Try and see what the reputation is like locally. Talk to some parents if you can. Ask the school about their retention rates etc.

One lovely local private school that I've known several children thrive through has just mixed (last term) with another school and by all accounts is now a disaster.

It's a shame for the pupils, especially the ones who are now tied in for various reasons.

As I said on another thread, I know several people with children in top private schools in London. All of them have at some stage been told they need to pay for extra tutoring. So don't assume the fees you're scrimping for will cover actually teaching your child to read and count.

I read so many negative comments about private school on here prior to my visit. Whilst these were all helpful in ensuring I looked past the ‘glossy prospectus’ and ‘amazing facilities’, what I also saw were happy, polite (and I am not saying state school children are not polite- I have another child in state school) children with amazing extra curricular activities alongside an extremely high standard of work. The writing I observed in the year 2 classroom was at a similar standard to my elder child’s (year 4!!).

So are you planning to put both children into primary school op?

Private school not primary school!

It’s a ridiculous generalisation OPbut I’m glad that you feel optimistic for your child.

We moved our three children from state infant school into the private system. Now all currently in late teens. It has cost an absolute fortune. But I have no regrets.

I found a lovely caring private school for my to two children. They were pushed academically but given a rounded education. It was great for the first few years.

Then the head teacher changed & so did the ethos. Dd chose to move to another school for seniors. Ds has an awful couple of years with bullying, refusing to put in place simple measures to help with his autism (which they knew about when they accepted him) & so we moved him to a state school. He is so much happier. Yes the academic education isn’t quite as good but I’ve got my son back & im not terrified of him doing something stupid all the time.

Interesting. I have spent time in a lot of different private schools - mainly for professional reasons, but I've also considered them as parent. I must say that I have been distinctly underwhelmed by what they offer. Flashy facilities in some, to be sure, but certainly not a superior standard of education.

That said, we are fortunate enough to have fantastic state schools where we live. The only people I know who send their kids to the local private schools are the ones who weren't able to get their dc into the best state option. Hardly surprising, as by anyone's measure, it's a much better school. I appreciate that it's different in some areas of the country, but I'm less than convinced that it's worth the huge investment.