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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

To anyone considering private school....

72 replies

JBFLBR · 28/04/2018 19:55

I’ve been reading posts regarding private schools for a few weeks and understandably there are lots of mixed reviews.

Due to an incident at the primary school my son is due to start in September I reluctantly (due to the price of the fees) started considering the independent sector.

To say I was blown away was an understatement. What an education these children are receiving!!!

So to anyone considering, definitely go and have a look around. We are now certainly looking at what sacrifices we can make to ensure we can afford this route!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GrimSqueaker · 29/04/2018 10:56

Always nice - but my kid has special needs... private schools don't want the effort basically.

Must be nice to be able to lecture the rest of the world about how to do it though.

Actually a former colleague from when I worked in the independent sector is still working at one of the "big" private schools in the NE and used to refer to the kids as "little scroats" when in the comfort of the staffroom, bullied colleagues (me) and was generally a nasty piece of work. I wouldn't let her near my kids if you paid ME the school fees. Private does not always equal better.

GlitterGlue · 29/04/2018 11:03

I can't decide if this was written by a goady twat or the marketing dept of St. Mediocre's.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 29/04/2018 11:11

Other friends of mine enquired about a private primary school place for their child who has high-functioning autism. School delighted to have her... provided the parents paid for a TA. That is, the TA's entire salary plus the school's costs as an employer, on top of the regular fees

Original poster

JBFLBR · 29/04/2018 11:21

Glitterglue can’t decide whether this was written by a goady twat or a marketing dept of St Mediocre’s.... I actually can’t believe how rude some people are on here!!

OP posts:

Theknacktoflying · 29/04/2018 11:21

There is just no right fit .... it so depends on where you live and what schools are like where you live ..

I could squeeze a private education from my salary but I can’t afford the lifestyle that private school children seem to have and don’t want my children to feel like poor immitations.

Private schools (preps) seem to have very clear ideas of where they expect their pupils to go ... if you don’t fit the mould or are not academically able life and choices are limited ...

GrimSqueaker · 29/04/2018 11:36

Oh yeah and I just googled - Scroat-caller is still working at a very very posh private school... you could be paying out those fees for a teacher who calls your kids that in the staffroom.

I got a slightly better answer than your friend Schnitzel - since my kid is academically able - they'd consider her despite her SEN - it's an avenue I keep on the back burner in case I need it in the future with her in a larger class but it's not something I'm stupidly naive enough to blindly peruse as a "paid for must be better" - the quality of teaching they get in their state school is bloody superb, despite the youngest's teacher driving me up the wall at times - about the only thing they'd get privately they don't get now would be smaller classes and a posher demographic... the school visits and activities they've had in-school this year actually blow the stuff the same sort of age range the local independent offers out of the water to be honest (I know a fair few families with kids there so have a pretty warts and all picture of the place - plus even the class sizes don't differ that much - independent has 22 in Reception... DD2's class which admittedly is a small year group only has 26!)

GlitterGlue · 29/04/2018 11:45

GlitterGlue can’t decide whether this was written by a goady twat or a marketing dept of St Mediocre’s.... I actually can’t believe how rude some people are on here!!

Must be the state education.

Original poster

JBFLBR · 29/04/2018 11:53

Glitterglue can you tell me why you feel it is ok to be rude to someone who has been blown away by a school? Is it not ok to accept that this is my opinion? I have valued everyone’s opinions on here and then made my own decision about MY local private school. What I would never do is be rude to someone over their choice of how they spend their money!

OP posts:

KHFC2018 · 29/04/2018 11:58

You won't convinced anyone OP. People on here have very strong opinions about state/private from their own experience and environment. I am very happy you found a good place for your children.

LesLavandes · 29/04/2018 12:05

OP. Ignore the stupid comments. They are laughable.

RedSkyAtNight · 29/04/2018 12:09

I don't think it's a great surprise to anyone that if you pay multiple thousand pounds a year you will get some nice facilities and probably more after school activities than the average state school.

The more interesting conversation is
a) whether the extras (perceived or otherwise) you get are value for money
b) (unless you are so rich you won't notice the private school fees going out) what the money would otherwise be spent on and whether you feel spending on education is more important

In our case, (based on the choices we have)
a) I don't feel the value of private school is worth the cost of paying for it And
b) I feel that the DC get more value out of us spending our money in other ways (and this is not just buying "stuff", but being able to provide enriching activities and things such as a parent always at home after school.

Other people of course make different decisions.

Fintress · 29/04/2018 12:10

. That is abysmal.

GlitterGlue · 29/04/2018 12:10

Nope. I would, but I'm going to have a shower. I might pop out to the shops after that. Not sure what I fancy for lunch. Any suggestions?

GrimSqueaker · 29/04/2018 12:10

What I would never do is be rude to someone over their choice of how they spend their money!

But you have been rather rude about everyone else's choice NOT to go private for their own children.

What I would say, having worked in both sectors is be very very careful of front show - or as my mum would describe it - "fur coat and no knickers." The pretty crappy last one I worked at looked really enticing to parents on a tour - lovely grounds, beautiful displays, nice flashy ICT suite and art room... but a couple of the staff were pretty crap and the school management was shambolic to say the best (I was good though!). The quality of teaching my kids get in their state school blows away a hell of a lot of stuff I've seen in the private sector (I'm bloody jealous of how good DD2's teacher is to be honest).

Twofishfingers · 29/04/2018 12:16

Local private schools around where I live are 20k per child, per year. I have 2 DSs, they are one academic year apart. That's 40k a year. for secondary school, that would be 200k. Plus uniforms, expensive school trips very expensive music tuition, etc. Not sure what we could cut to cover that. Everything, perhaps?

Great thinking though OP, go for it. That will be one less child in state schools and more attention paid on the others.

elderflowerandrose · 29/04/2018 12:19

If your child has any kind of special needs then think twice, because the support can be (very) limited and the entrance exams are hard. It is also the case you would not want a child to be struggling and feel bad about it. It is a sad fact that these children do not flourish in a very competitive setting. A stare school would be much better.

However I would definitely do it otherwise. Private schools, the best ones especially, are fantastic.

WowLookAtYou · 29/04/2018 12:20

My friend worked as Senco at a highly-regarded private prep near us. Parents were charged additionally £30 for any extra support/intervention sessions.

blueskypink · 29/04/2018 12:26

That will be one less child in state schools and more attention paid on the others.

Two I presume. I don't imagine the op would put her youngest into a private school and leave the other in a state primary.

Original poster

JBFLBR · 29/04/2018 12:28

Grimsqueaker, when was I rude about everyone else’s choice not to go private? I have an elder child who will not be going private (his choice).

I would never be so rude and judgemental about another persons choice and cannot understand why there are so many on here that are.

OP posts:

MinaPaws · 29/04/2018 12:29

OP, I understand your shocked enthusiasm. DC were at state school for primary and went private for secondary. We're in an area where there are loads of private schools with good reputations, but only one really wowed me. Two others were OK but not perfect and the rest were glossier than the state schools by miles but didn't appear to offer much more than naice grounds.

My two have thrived at private school. DS1 is very academic and geeky which he was bullied for at state school. Now he's popular and accepted, teased for his geekiness but in a warm way that makes him feel liked not sneered at. And DS2 who has autism was really lonely and unhappy at primary. He wa s at secondary too when he started. the difference was that they swooped in and did all sorts of interventions to build up his security, happiness, self esteem and confidence, as well as teahcing him a lot about emotional intelligence, all included in the fees. As a result I have remained deeply impressed by the school. I love it, and I love that my sons are so happy there.

Original poster

JBFLBR · 29/04/2018 12:50

The same here Minapaws, there are lots of private schools in our area and it was only one that wowed us.

My decision to post on here was to give another opinion, one that may have encouraged me to look round some (if there was a reason I needed to).

In my case, a TA at my sons school humiliated my son by telling all the children to laugh at him whilst it was his turn to read (as punishment for talking). It was dealt with very badly by the school.

My elder son is moving to the middle school and I hope people can see why I would be considering other options for my youngest!

OP posts:

MinaPaws · 29/04/2018 12:55

I find it hard not to be biased. I wasn't impressed by their state primary and have been so impressed by their private secondary but it's crazy to make generalisations from that single experience. I have friends with DC at other private schools who have been mistreated, ignored or bullied and know children at the lcoal state schools who have blossomed and thrived.

But I agree that looking widely at what's on offer is a good idea, and not being prejudiced against either option is also essential if you want to find the school that's right for your child.

MinaPaws · 29/04/2018 12:58

ederflower - we didn't know it when he got in, but DS2 has SEN, and the SENCO and support staff, as well as the pastoral care systems set up by the school have made the world of difference to him. He is so well cared for, so happy. I know not all private schools offer such careful, dedicated services for SEN children, but some do. Way better than the state school down the road that is supposed to be a specialist school in his condition, from what friends have said.

blueskypink · 29/04/2018 14:26

OP - you say it's the choice of your dc in year 4 not to go private. But that won't necessarily prevent feelings of resentment further down the line. Especially if your older dc realises later in life that you couldn't actually have afforded to send him to private school so the 'offer' was not a real one. (I assume you couldn't afford to pay for both as you talk about seeing what sacrifices you can make to pay for your youngest's education).

And what would you do at secondary level? Continue to pay for one and not the other?

Twofishfingers · 29/04/2018 14:59

OP, are you absolutely sure it's not because your precious DS laughed at other children when they were reading?

This happened at my kids school, except that the children did that of their own accord. One child kept on laughing at all the other children (during a music lesson, when they all had to play individually) and all the kids together, without any support or encouragement from the staff, all burst into laughter when the it was the child in question's turn.

Good luck to you.

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