Teacher commeted to me about my ds's behaviour at a non school event when she wasn't even present. Wuold you question her as to how she came about this information? I am thinking not, dh thinks I a a wimp.

[DrNortherner]

At a meeting about my ds's behaviour (he is 5) she said

'I hear that the last party ds attended he was the one who was difficult to control'

This smacks of playground gossip to me and was most unprofssional of her to say this. Dh is fuming, but was not at the meeting.

He wants me to ask her how she came to know this, and tell her although we can not control playground gossip we hope his teacher is not party to it.

I am so un confrontational and turn into a 5 year old in her prescence. What would you do?

I've been reading your thread with interest dr.N We have a 5 yr old boy in our reception class that reminds me of your ds. I must say that the most unhelpful part of dealing with his behaviour on a daily basis (I'm going to whack you' was the lovely comment I received last week after telling him he couldn't push in the line) is the lack of parental co-operation with any behaviour management strategies that the head or the class teachers try to implement. Its as if he knows there are no comebacks because Mum will just come in and say 'no I'm not going to do that' and so he rules the roost completely,and really thinks he can do what he likes. Its a desperate situation. I am NOT for one minute saying that you are doing this to your son BUT I would say you have to be so careful not to let your son see that you've got issue with the meeting that you had and that 'dad is mad' at the head, for the sake of the (presumably) good work they are doing with star charts etc.

I hope you don't think that is too harsh, and for what its worth I think mentioning the party wasn't the most professional thing your head has done but I do think it could've come from the children.

Good luck with all this, there are so many positive comments from the teacher, it won't take long to sort out.

I don't really understand the need to "defend" one's child unless he is under attack. I don't see that a teacher trying to find ways to help a child tone down his energy and (what sounds a bit like aggression) is an attack.

Where is that thread?

Am happily stepping away from this thread, have thought about this for too long. I've listened to some other perspectives and have learnt something. Time to be positive now.