Teacher commeted to me about my ds's behaviour at a non school event when she wasn't even present. Wuold you question her as to how she came about this information? I am thinking not, dh thinks I a a wimp.

[DrNortherner]

At a meeting about my ds's behaviour (he is 5) she said

'I hear that the last party ds attended he was the one who was difficult to control'

This smacks of playground gossip to me and was most unprofssional of her to say this. Dh is fuming, but was not at the meeting.

He wants me to ask her how she came to know this, and tell her although we can not control playground gossip we hope his teacher is not party to it.

I am so un confrontational and turn into a 5 year old in her prescence. What would you do?

I think you should have asked questions THEN, it seems a bit odd to go BACK about it

I assume that if it was a meeting about your DS's behaviour then she is in general trying to be helpful and finding solutions to problems - I would overlook this comment now (I would have said something then and there TBH)

Tell DH to attend the next meeting

It may well have been a hamfisted way of her explaining his behaviour and trying to back up her feelings, however, it was unprofessionla and hurtful tbh as I can only conclude people are discussing my son's behaviour behind my back.

They're not going to discuss his beheviour in front of you are they? But she shouldn't have told you, that's for sure.

It might not be people. It might be one parent told her something. Not playground gossip if you see the distinction. Sorry. Not nice I know.

Valnben. My thoughts entirely!!

Anyway, dh has just called me to say he is about to call the head and discuss it with him now.

So I was fretting for nothing. Now I'm fretting as dh is far less tactful than I.

Ho hum........

how many weeks of term left??

count them down.. there aren't that many.... then look foward to a new teacher!

what behaviour are you discussing? is this the one that you did a thread on a while back?

(why are you a doctor?)

hopefully the head will have already had "words" with her.. so na.. to her

Dont bother doing anything. Make a mental note, play a game with your self as to who could be the gossip and move on. Kicking up a stink on something hurtful but realistically trivial will only make life more difficult for your ds in the class room.

The issue here is your child's behaviour and this is what you are best advised to work on.

What is the problem that they seem to have to comment upon it?

Malory, it is true is it not, that if some teachers dont like the parent they dont have much time for the child.

Take your teachers hat off to answer please

Olive I am doctor so folk will RESPECT me

We were discussing the problems she is having with him in the class and at playtime. No problems academically, he is very bright. Ds is a born leader, likes to be in charge, if not he thupms folk. He is very energetic chases the girls in the playground, catches them, a scuffle breaks out, girl crys, ds is in trouble. She thinks he is manipulative (cause he asked his friend to get something of another child) arrogant (cause he puts his hands his pockets and stares at teh ceiling when she his telling him off) she says his body language is very mature for a 5 year old...I could go on and on, it's a barage of negative comments about what I think is not uncommon behaviour for a 5 year old boy.

Phew. It's getting to me can you tell?

oh she sounds horrible.
was there nothing positive??

All those things might be normal once in a while. But if they were happening a lot, they would be disruptive and a teacher would have to put a stop to them. And if you were the mother of one of the crying girls, you would expect her to.

Hmm, He must be in our class room then

Too much energy, I think, have you considered his diet?

POsitive thingsv she said: no problems acidemically, although he appears to not listening in class yet when questioned he always has the right answer, excellent imagination, sociable and popular.

Sociable and popular, doesnt sound right if he is causing disturbances in the playground/classroom.

I used to stare at the ceiling too, teacher told my mum I had a bad attitude, lol

Have you explained to your son re chasing and hitting (I am sure you have)

sounds like normal boy to me

Cod rec a good book the other day (thread somewhere) Talk to your children so they will listen or something, v good

I think he sounds great! My dd1 had a teacher in America who had a lot of catch phrases. One was 'I don't listen to tattle', which is probably a good starting point for a teacher!

Steg, 'sounds great' blimey, you try being the teacher or his mum. They are a nightmare and at times very embarrassing in public.

Sorry, Stleg, I meant

here

I flicked through it last night and it is good. I am going to be a super parent...(ha, not).

Has your dh phoned the head, if not I think maybe tell him not to.

I was told that a child that upsets others makes them the outcast regardless of their intelligence.

Thats very interesting Hatrick, it just doesnt seem logical. Can you explain how this works.

I like the sound of a sociable, academically bright child. If you had to tick boxes in 'how I want my child to be', wouldn't you put them high up? There are so many types of personality, some are more 'enthusiastic' than others. And all children can be a nightmare at times. Most people face challenges at work, surely teachers should accept challenging five year olds as part of their job?