I feel sick - may have made a terrible mistake with school primary choice

[exrebel]

I feel like a complete idiot who should not be in charge of a child. After all research and considerations, I think I picked the worst school and now it is too late as I have accepted the place, and I put it first choice as well, so I cannot appeal really

A woman I chat to sometimes on the way home made me think again. Well she did not say anything I did not know already but I prioritised other factors and was being principled.

Where do I go from here? what you would do next to get DD to another school? I can ring around and put her in popular school waiting list? Delay until she is 5 and re-apply? Is this possible to re-apply next year? Apply to another borough, near work? Not sure if there are any state schools inside the city of London though. I would consider private education in emergency but many don?t have after school provision and cant pay fee and childcare too.

What exactly are your concerns with he school?

Gosh. It's a great night for primary ed tonight. One of the best in ages.....

there must be a reason you chose the 'bad' school, sure it isn't just a wobble?

i have no idea at all really (ds is 2) but i can see myself doing exactly the same thing so interested to see what suggestions you get. are you in east london?

I'm umming and aahing too, though about moving ds (7). Whereabouts are you? There are good schools in the City -- Prior Weston in the Barbican, though it belongs to Islington not City of London. But school allocation is done on home addresses not work ones, so doubt your plan would work unless you go private.

If you give more info about the schools and the area and your reservations, it might be easier to offer helpful advice.

Are you in south east london??

Why not go and visit it again and get a better feel for it yourself. Others' opinions are all very well but you must have had reasons for naming it first.

You might get on a waiting list elsewhere but you would have to call and see what the likelihood of a place at this late stage might be and if catchment areas are rigidly applied whetrh you can apply form another borough. If you tried to delay school for a whole year(and she must legally be in education the term after she is 5 so only possible if she is a post Easter b'day) , she'd miss out Reception and start in Year 1.

lol wobble synergy

She must have been quite something this woman you chat to sometimes.

Exrebeeeeeeeelllllllll. We are heeeerrreeeee!

Don't think this woman is the bleeding oracle on education! She knows nothing.

My ?friend? said basically that people take kids out of there because the kids are held back by the fact that the school teaching and resources are biased towards the disadvantage kids who end up there, who are the majority (i.e. the just arrived immigrants, those on benefits and kids coming from families that don?t value education as much as other families).

Also many families living near me walk to further way popular schools rather than take their kids to the nearest ones. I see the exodus every morning when we go to nursery (private)

I want my girl to learn the best way and in the best environment and make friends that come from families with same values as ours.
Although until this morning I thought that I did not want to end up being prejudice and a snob like the other parents

I choose it because it was close to home (yes very South East) and on the way to work, with breakfast and after school club, good ofsted, making improvements, and recently introduced pure phonics. Being a single mum working full time and no family nearby, I decided to prioritise these reasons, thinking that because I value education and she is bright she will be alright anywhere. Other very popular schools were not so close and thought I would not get in anyway and I thought one was too snobbish.

very low in the league tables I forgot to mention

by the way, thank you for taking an interest in this

Your reasons sound very good to me, Exrebel. It must be hard taking full responsibility for such significant decisions, but it sounds as though you've thought it through very thoroughly. And the school doesn't sound bad at all. As you say, your own values will be the most important factor in how she approaches school.

It might be my school!!!!!!
More info please.
Give hints......

Where do you live? I think it sounds good. The league tables can be misleading as schools may be brilliant but still can't turn water in wine iyswim.

League tables can be misleading. If the school has lots of kids who are recent immigrants etc., then the 'average' score will be affected by that, but that doesn't mean that the teaching is bad, or that your daughted won't get on well there. What does the Ofsted say about the teaching?

Yoru "firned " sounds to be the one who si snobbish . Was she speaking from personal experienc or pure hearsay ? Make an appointment with the head, take along a list of your concerns and discuss it. Maybe there is some truth in it , maybe not, but a knee jerk reaction probably won't make you feel better long term.

Schools with that sort of intake teach in a way that is geared towards those sorts of children but what is good practise for those sorts of children is good practise for all children. They will get lots of hands on experiential learning, lots of speaking and listening, lots of scaffolding of learning.....lots of trips out.. I could go on.

The thing is unless you really know this woman it's hard to evaluate her values. Does she have the same hopes and fears as you? She's not choosing for your child. And so on. It's "people say" set against your judgement. It may be the wrong school but not because she says it is. Hope that makes sense. Good luck. Not easy I know.

Hi Exrebel,

I've not chosen the more 'snobbish' school that has a waiting list and you've obviuosly really thought about this when you made the decision.

There will be a mix of kids in the school, but this will be part of the learning experience that your child will have. If it's got a good ofsted report ot can't be all bad.

They say that kids get somuch from their friends at Primary school and that could be another reason for her to go to a local school and have friends on the dooestep.

Maybe you need to speak to some parents who have kept their kids there to get a more rounded view.

A nice, middle class mum told me today that her DD goes to the primary school near me which has poor results in the league tables, lots of immigrants etc. She thinks it's good, and she seems sensible.
Makes vaguely reassuring noises....

I wouldn't freak out about the league tables, personally. Could mean that they have better things to do than teaching to the tests, which is a great plus. Nor would I pay any attention to gossip from people who don't have first hand experience, or of people who've chosen to remove their child and therefore have axes to grind in terms of justifying their decision.

Don't forget that the thing that will have the single biggest effect on your child's experience of school is the make-up of the class they end up in, and you can't predict or control that however carefully you choose the school. As long as your child has a couple of little friends that she gets on with, there's no reason for her to experience the social mix as a problem. I've had two children in the same school -- it was not a success for dd1, but worked v. well for ds, almost entirely to do with the dynamics of the class.

I really wouldn't panic yet -- Reception kids are such a mixed bag that social background is only a tiny part of it. You may find that backgrounds, ability and interests do diverge as the children get older, but if that becomes a real problem in terms of your child feeling isolated or bored you will see it building up and have plenty of time to start scouting around for alternative places in other schools (and places always become available, even in the most popular schools).

From everything you have said, it sounds like you have made the right decision for the right reasons. As a virtually single (my dh lives out of the country) working mother with two children in school, I can tell you that the things that you prioritized were the right ones. There are huge advantages to having your child at the local school and having a good afterschool program. (I am in the usa, but my children take all sorts of wonderful enrichment classes as part of their afterschool program (science, chess, dance, language). These are classes that I would never have the time to chauffer them to otherwise. Also, interestingly, although directing education towards the disadvantaged kids seems like a waste for a child like yours, I have found that in fact, it has proved to be very useful for my extremely brainy, but totally space cadet ds. He is so often on another planet, that it is good for him to have things taught in a fairly rigid order with lots of repetition. He gets his extra inspiration and stimulation when he's at home. Also, you need to take the league tables with a grain of salt. I had a good friend who was a fairly senior teacher and she worked at two central london schools. One had high league tables, but a fairly wealthy local population and the other had much lower league tables but an extremely high immigrant population. She said that when her children were school age she would send them to the school with the low league tables because she felt the teaching was far better there. The achievements they were making despite the high immigrant population were not really reflected by the league tables.
I would go to the school and try to meet a few teachers and get a feel for who you might think would be best for your dd and try to request that teacher. Try the school out and see how it goes. You can always switch a few years down the line.

Rowan, thank you for yur comment

I feel so bad now that I am doubting my judgement. the fact that some woman can make me crumble like this is in itself a sign.

well, she challenged my good reasons saying that the quality of the education environment is above everything else. My logistic and childcare needs could be resolved in other ways, (true I would say - just a little bit more hassle but possible),while the missed opportunities or a bad school experience can never be fixed.

I visitred the school once, liked it and passed outside once and seemed fine. but maybe I was not very thorough. it is tru that they are all geared for the non-english speakers and their literature seems to be about children who are disadvantage and seem to assume that their audience have some problem or another