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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

I feel sick - may have made a terrible mistake with school primary choice

93 replies

exrebel · 02/05/2007 21:13

I feel like a complete idiot who should not be in charge of a child. After all research and considerations, I think I picked the worst school and now it is too late as I have accepted the place, and I put it first choice as well, so I cannot appeal really

A woman I chat to sometimes on the way home made me think again. Well she did not say anything I did not know already but I prioritised other factors and was being principled.

Where do I go from here? what you would do next to get DD to another school? I can ring around and put her in popular school waiting list? Delay until she is 5 and re-apply? Is this possible to re-apply next year? Apply to another borough, near work? Not sure if there are any state schools inside the city of London though. I would consider private education in emergency but many don?t have after school provision and cant pay fee and childcare too.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SofiaAmes · 02/05/2007 21:44

Also, don't listen to snobby parents who try to tell you that their school is better than yours. They are just trying to justify their choices at your expense. I have a bunch of friends with kids in private school who constantly do that. The reality is that I can perfectly well afford to send my kids to private school, but the education they are getting in public school is as good, or better and it's free leaving me plenty of money left over for a more comfortable lifestyle and the ability to work 3/4 time instead of full time.

spudmasher · 02/05/2007 21:48

Greenwich or Lewisham?

NKF · 02/05/2007 21:49

What does "quality of education environment" mean though? Does she meant teaching? Or a nice playground? Or an oak pannelled dining hall? Or something else again? Really and truly, all she's told you is that she and her friends don't think much of the school.

rowan1971 · 02/05/2007 21:52

Agree with NFK - 'quality of education environment' sounds like burbling to me. Don't start questioning your own judgement too much, for your daughter's sake (although by all means go and talk to the head as someone else suggested). Many people with kids already at school (my oldest will be starting in September) told me that the calibre of the headteacher is one of the most important things, particularly in a primary. And again, the quality of the teaching.

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 21:53

wow thank you thank you thank you for all the nice posts.

spudmaster.... yes you are right, i have noticed positively the 'scaffolding' and support/creative activities,and they recently had 'Art week', with visiting artists and professional drummers in to work with the kids (hint hint!)

OP posts:

spudmasher · 02/05/2007 21:54

Not my school then because it sounds great!!!!

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 22:06

Spudmaster - The school is in Southwark

it would have been nice if it was your school though.

by the environment she meant the families who send the kids there rather than the high achieving schools. she kept saying, " for working people like you it is not the best" meaning (in a disparaging way) kids come from parents on benefits , which thnking about it now, what would hey have an afterschool/breakfast club for then?

however I have started worrying of mixing us with too much rough, although I belive I turned into a snob myself now despoite believing most of the points made here by many of you

by the way i will print this thread and frame it, lots of useful ideas.

Maybe I will send her there and if so bad we can always change. and will go see them anyway. they are supposed to write to me soon anyway about the place.

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 02/05/2007 22:07

Where in SE London? My dd's just got her place at her SE London school too! Can't you just say the name of it? I'm so curious ...

imaginaryfriend · 02/05/2007 22:08

Ooh, ooh, exrebel I'm in Southwark too! Does the school's name begin with an 'R'?

rowan1971 · 02/05/2007 22:08

In my experience, school-choosing is right up there with house-buying in terms of exposing yourself as a horrendous snob (I'm talking about myself here). However, it's just rotten of your 'friend' to imply that people on benefits aren't fit to be mixing with decent folk. What sort of attitude is that?

misdee · 02/05/2007 22:09

exrebal, my dd1 old school was i na 'better' area but was awful, her current school area is high % of council properties families and people on benefits. but is a much better school.

dont become a snob

NKF · 02/05/2007 22:11

I hope it works out. Go see it again.

spudmasher · 02/05/2007 22:12

'High Achieving ' schools are often that way because of the parents that put their children there, proving imho that it is the parents that make the difference rather than the schools.
I have taught in some schools in leafier parts of SE london where the value added attainment of the children is poor because the parents have been supplementing with tutors, kumon etc. And just plain old been interested in the education of thair children and have the ability themselves to assisst with homework and the positive school experiences of their childhoods to draw upon.

Controversial. but I have always believed that attainment is 90% parents and 10% schools.

What your child will get from going to the school you describe is life skills and street wisdom.

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 22:14

the school name begins with S and it reminds me of the cold winter event

too much info?

OP posts:

collision · 02/05/2007 22:15

If you felt this was the best place for your daughter then you were probably right.

Ignore the woman.

We had this in Feb when we moved from Cheshire to Bracknell. dS1(5) was going to the local primary as it 'felt' right and the I just had a gut feeling about it and headteacher was fab.

Talking to others about it, everyone pulled a face and one chap even said, 'If you can get thru the effing and blinding of the mothers then you will be OK!! We had to move our ds to a nicer school and you should see the cars there. Fabulous!! (WHAT THE HELL?) Such a nicer class of people at the new school!'

I checked out said school but it wasnt enough to want me to send ds there and I stuck to my guns and we couldnt be happier about it. It is a great school with a huge mix of people and yes, there are a lot of people there I wouldnt choose to mix with and some look as rough as a bag of spanners but that is life. DS is getting on with it and I am glad I decided to send him there.

spudmasher · 02/05/2007 22:15

Skating? Skiing?? Sipping mulled wine???

PiusIX · 02/05/2007 22:15

Exrebel - your friend has a point. My wife is a teacher at a London school and she systematically ignores middle class kids and focuses all her attention on the halt and the lame. It's the law you know.

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 22:17

rowan you made me laugh with the very good house-buying school picking similarities

so true

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 02/05/2007 22:22

I know that school. We live about 10 mins down the road from there and are at a school with initials AS. I remember reading about the schools around your area and there are only a very few with high ofsted reports and very hard to get into from what I gathered?

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 22:23

spudmaster,
think about the weather
it falls from the sky

I am not good at criptic

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 02/05/2007 22:25

spudmasher, you're in SE London too then? I could do an anagram of exrebel's school's name?

PippiLangstrump · 02/05/2007 22:42

I am so glad there is a healthy thread about school choice!

I am turning into a snob myself and I hate myself for it - I have to keep remind me of who I am IYSWIM.

Will have nice school in front of our house with good ofsted rep. then I come to MN and some posters make me all paranoid and I am thinking I should become a devote christian and do what it takes etc etc... (DD is only 20m )

exrebel you chose well! don't become a snob otherwise I might truly become one too!

(I'll print this thread too as a reminder...)

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 22:48

imaginaryfriend, your school seems to be doing very well on the league as I remember, all the ones nearest to me are not, but as I said i see people going to CD or the big C from further away than me

should I wrap this up?

I have calmed down now a bit thank you to mumsnet, I thought as I was so sure of my ideas.

i will reflect on the things said on this thread.

feel free to say more, I have found all the comments very interesting and entertaiing also.

we are all off to bed I guess, workt tomorrow, kids to look after, etc etc

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 02/05/2007 22:54

For what it's worth, just by word of mouth, SF seems to be better than CD. I visited CD and didn't like it at all. I have a feeling that in the next few years SF is going to become a very good school. Are you also near CS?

Original poster

exrebel · 02/05/2007 23:12

imaginaryfriend,
I am 15 mins walk from CD but 5 mins from SF

SF better than CD? my 'friend' would be so disappointed, thats where her kids got to and she suggested to me that I should send mine there too

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