Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

repremanded for not believing in god

92 replies

Unagray · 15/12/2017 06:40

Today my son was sternly repremanded for telling his teacher he did not believe in god. He told me he thought it was important she knew and was deeply upset from her reaction! I am utterly furious! What are my rights here? Surely this is unacceptable? I am trying to handle this rationally but I am seething. Added note... school is not C of E... but does have whole school worship.. (national curriculum?)

OP posts:
zeezies · 15/12/2017 10:14

My 7 year old goes to a C of E school.

He does not believe in God and always brings up science based reasons for this - from reception onwards.

The teachers tell me this and encourage him to express his opinions respectfully. I remember one teacher said he had a really interesting discussion about Charles Darwin and religion and so on one day.

My son recently wanted to help craft some prayers but was worried that he couldn't do this as he didn't believe in god but he asked and was allowed to make up prayers and read them out.

I think it depends upon the school and the teachers.

I like that he is included as are other children and I don't mind him learning about Christian values. Also you can step out of collective worship if it is something you don't believe in and also you don't need to go to the church services.

I make it clear to him that he has his beliefs and others have their own beliefs.

I ask him to respect everyone as he is respected. I think the school do the same.

ErnestTheBavarian · 15/12/2017 10:20

But is you take the 'emotionally charged' subject of God out of it, and the teacher was eg talking about healthy eating, and he yelled out "I hate Vegetables" that would be rude and inappropriate and deserving of a reprimand too. Surely it's more to do with the behaviour than the subject matter?

BertrandRussell · 15/12/2017 10:21

I love unicorns, but hate the sparkly crap and the girly t shirt stuff.

BertrandRussell · 15/12/2017 10:22

"But is you take the 'emotionally charged' subject of God out of it, and the teacher was eg talking about healthy eating, and he yelled out "I hate Vegetables" that would be rude and inappropriate and deserving of a reprimand too. Surely it's more to do with the behaviour than the subject matter?"

What if he shouted "I love vegetables!"

zeezies · 15/12/2017 10:31

Actually I don't think kids saying they hate or love things is a biggie - surely part of being a 7 year old is having strong opinions.

It may be the tone and how he behaved yes but I think that is hard to tell from 3 words ?

C8H10N4O2 · 15/12/2017 10:33

But like god, it's a lot easier to say I hate unicorns,

Yes it absolutely is and that is exactly the problem I have with that argument.

It shifts responsibility for the sparkly crap onto something that doesn't exist rather than the people who invent the sparkles and perpetrate them as well as those who help and support it.

Many of the worst atrocities done in the name of religion happen because large numbers of ordinary people let them and abdicate all personal responsibility for their own contribution.

user789653241 · 15/12/2017 10:44

I think it he was reprimanded, it's because how he said it rather than what he said.
If he calmly said that he hate god and doesn't believe, the teacher could have had a talk with him about respect for others, etc. But if he was shouting "I hate god", when teacher was talking to the class and disrupting, he should be reprimanded.

Original poster
Unagray · 15/12/2017 12:02

Yes, I agree with you. I absolutely agree that other people’s views should be respected. If he did shout ‘I hate God’ in front of the other children then the teacher was right to tell him off. It’s very difficult to get the whole story from a 7 year old. I will definitely speak to his teacher to gauge the whole picture. Thank you for all comments. I feel a lot calmer about the whole thing. I hate seeing my babies upset 😢

OP posts:
AuntLydia · 15/12/2017 12:04

Ah OK, I think you're getting closer to what actually happened op! Sounds like he shouted out something silly when the teacher was trying to talk about the religious aspect of Christmas. My lot are reasonably well behaved in school usually but the odd occasion they have come home with some tail of an awful injustice a teacher has done to them, me saying I'd better go and have a chat to the teacher drags the truth out of them.

Paddington68 · 15/12/2017 12:10

When I was a lad, cue Hovis music, if I'd been disrespectful to a teacher I'd have been quaking in my boots over my parents knowing and would have been 'sternly reprimanded' at home.

It appears, now you (OP) are aware of a few more facts and it appears your child may have been a little disruptive. You may wish to raise, with his teacher, the particular incident in question and she may, in turn, help you with strategies of how he can become less disruptive in the classroom.

I'm not sure where this storming down the school mentality comes from, when did the world change? Whole school worship is indeed part of the National Curriculum, as we are deemed to live in a Christian country, but a Nativity isn't; perhaps the school will give it a miss next year to give themselves a break.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 15/12/2017 12:32

To be honest, I think it’s perfectly legitimate for him to say that hates God.

My DS would say the same thing. He hates the God in the bible, the vengeance, the punishments, the death by drowning! I mean it’s a perfectly reasonable response and the teacher, instead of berating him, could have simply asked “why do you hate God?” It might have led to an interesting discussion.

MiddleagedManic · 15/12/2017 12:43

If someone saying 'I hate God' is considered disrespectful in front of religious people, is it also disrespectful for a religious person to say 'I love God' in front of those who are atheist/non-religious?

Original poster
Unagray · 15/12/2017 12:56

Interesting... if a person said ‘I love god’, I would not be offended, unless they tried to convert me. Unfortunately religion is still a big part of our children’s lives within school. They are taught it’s the ‘norm’ to believe. Well it’s not the ‘norm’ in my house. I honestly do not think my son said this to upset or offend anybody.. he just doesn’t think like that. It’s a situation that should have been handled better.

OP posts:
flumpybear · 15/12/2017 13:16

If a 7 year old said 'I hate X' it doesn't necessarily mean anything per se, it's a way of expressing themselves as they're not as capable as others, the teacher should have said some interesting facts such as 'why would you say that' and he may have said 'well religion causes so many arguments, Wars, conflict, it makes some men think women are inferior and second class, it's a way people hide behind their wicked ways, it insists on some babies having parts of their anatomy cut off, it gives people excuses to kill others because they don't 'abide by the rules of the religion' .....' the list goes on and on and on
'I hate god b cause he allows all of this to happen under his ruling'

In which case he has a point, a big point - I can't fault your son! Wink

WooWooSister · 15/12/2017 13:25

It all depends on context and delivery.Take God and religion out of it. If the teacher had been talking about the importance of reading (after an entire assembly devoted to reading) because it promotes empathy or/and gives insight into different people and a DC shouted out 'I hate reading!' it sounds as though they're trying to undermine not only the entire point that the teacher is making but also the assembly.
If on a one-to-one a DC said, 'I hate reading!' then that's different.
Even though the DC has said the exact same words, one would be more disruptive than the other.

AuntLydia · 15/12/2017 13:30

It doesn't sound like the teacher was holding a discussion about religion. The kids had just finished a nativity play. I wouldn't accept my atheist kids 'piping up' with 'i hate God' when a teacher is talking about religious belief in that context. It wasn't 'circle time' with children putting their hands up and talking about their feelings about religion. Op says her son can be 'crazy and disruptive'. If he has disrupted a teacher who is in the middle of discussing the nativity to shout out 'i hate God' then I would expect him to be reprimanded to be honest. It's totally inappropriate and disrespectful.

RestingGrinchFace · 15/12/2017 13:32

Is this a state school? If so this is completely unacceptable and you must write to your MP! Even if it isn't a state school you should complain to the head and consider complaining to ofstead/isi if you feel that the head doesn't deal with it effectively. Absolutely horrifying.

AppleKatie · 15/12/2017 13:38

Eh? Grinch are you reading a different thread or taking the piss?

Paddington68 · 15/12/2017 14:15

If Grinch is not taking the piss there is no hope.

Pengggwn · 15/12/2017 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wyrdesista · 15/12/2017 22:40

Saying he hated God doesn’t seem to be particularly offensive imo but if he was shouting then I imagine it came across as him being aggressive. In which case she probably had to reprimand him for it.

I can’t imagine any teacher being so touchy about the subject of God.

Pengggwn · 16/12/2017 06:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreshHorizons · 16/12/2017 06:28

I think that it is highly unlikely to be as stated and the reaction must have come from the context and the way that he expressed it.

Growingboys · 16/12/2017 06:32

Sounds like he was being cheeky tbh, regardless of beliefs.

I'd pipe down.

WinchestersInATardis · 16/12/2017 06:44

I don't think comparing this to the importance of reading is an accurate analogy. We all agree reading is important.

The teacher was talking about the importance of religious belief to an effectively captive and young audience.

Imagine she'd spent time telling children it was important to believe in something else that is effectively a personal choice- voting for a particular party perhaps - or that it was important to have belief in another religion.

Yes, your son shouldn't have said it but he's 7 and it was a subject they were talking about.
She's an adult and should know better than to lecture children in the importance in belief in her religious faith.