Ahhhhhh... Why do Teachers do this?

[User998877]

Ds (Y5) is a child that is both academic and good at sports, sits on tops tables for Maths/Literacy and is in most of the school sports teams. This is not a boast by any means as despite his capabilities he struggles terribly with his self esteem, always has. He is better than he was as I've worked tirelessly at home to help him with this.

He is popular pupil, got voted for school council etc by his peers and the head promotes him as a role model for the school. Yet one comment can bring him tumbling down so fast, for example tonight he has come home very upset as his CT told him to move from the top table to another one... no explanation, just told him to sit at the other table, which ds did without question.

This is a new teacher to the school and I've had very little interaction with him, I don't take issue with ds being moved as such, there could be many reasons why he has done this but surely ds deserves an explanation as to why he's being moved.

I've now got a ds who's insisting that he must be crap at reading (he's not BTW) as why else would he be moved.. I'm tempted to go in before work and have a word or am I overreacting?

Anasnake I accept that, what I don't accept are the reasons why a child can not have an explanation. Surely a teacher can sensibly make a judgement call on what type of situation requires one, frankly some of the examples shot back at me are just shoddy attempts at sarcasm.

As it happens I have no problem with teachers, usually just leave them to get on with their jobs. I do however take issue with the fact that quite a few of them appear to have a problem with parents who dare to question anything.

Finally

My DS would respond like this in fact did when actually they weren't even different levels. Teacher pointed out guided reading was the same for all groups except one she just changed it and had he not noticed. He does have SN's I would add.
However my response is it doesn't matter where you sit just do your best.

My son has sat by 3 different children this year..He sits by teachers desk and the class move around him.He has no idea why they are moved and to be honest if he did I would tell him to focus on his work instead of worrying about everything going on in the classroom. . I do explain why My son has to do everything sometimes because I say so is enough..I have a lifetime of experience as to why I make some decisions that I doubt he would understand..

The only time there has been any discussion about where he sits is when there was a discussion about how he would manage going from top of the group to essentially bottom of the higher group.

Well if you know they are in ability sets and he's been moved down a set, then the reason is he's no longer working at the same level as the other children in that group.

Why don't you explain it to him yourself.

Or just say:

"The teacher has put you where they think you will learn best." And just shrug it off.

You sound very pissed off OP, it's really not a big deal.

If the teacher had given an explanation and it had been "I'd like you to move from the top table because you are working at the level of the next table down" you and your son would have been happy with that would you?

If the explanation your son had been given was that he was working at the level of the new table, not the top table, would that have made him feel better?

Honestly this is an issue to work at at home. Maybe the teacher noticed his fragile self esteem and thought that the constant success was putting pressure on him or something? Maybe he just thought that it would help your DS make friends with a pupil on another table who was a bit lonely because your DS is friendly? Ultimately you are completely overreacting, for all you know your DS may have fallen behind in his reading and the teacher may not have wanted to point it out in class and embarrass him but hadn't had the chance to talk to you about it. The problem isn't the teacher but rather the way that both you and your DS have reacted. Small failures are good for children, it teaches resilience. When parents fail to understand this children pick up on it and learn to be frightened of failure rather than to make the most of it.

Flack The responses were that teachers do not have time to give explanations, so I said that in my busy life at work I manage to do that quite happily despite the number of people I am responsible for

My daughter got moved because she was copying all her maths from the boy next to her. The teacher told me she was moved to help her make more friends. You won't necessarily get the truth even if you did get an explanation.

Change happens and it is good practice.

You really don’t think that teaching 30 children might just be a little bit different from working with adults in the workplace, @User998877? Even when people with actual, real life experience in the classroom are telling you that it is?

First of all, I just LOVE being tarred with the "all teachers" brush.

Next, you can't see why offering 30+ explanations to children isn't time consuming? Wow.

I explain things if necessary. You are massively overreacting and your son needs to work on resilience and his attitude towards lower ability learners.

Are the people you are responsible for children with different levels of needs?

Thefallen YES it would because that would be the truth, and IMO the truth is better that no explanation at all.

This thread is getting silly now, people are piling in with two pennies worth like sheep following the herd! Oh look there's a thread where everyone is having a go at the original poster, lets get over there quickly and stick the boot in. I'm please to be a leader not a follower and will encourage my children to never follow the herd like sheep.

Some of the comments about me and my son are frankly vile, some of you deserves a medal for your capability to diagnose the problem.

I'll leave the thread now, thank you to those that gave measured responses.

Good luck with that approach if you decide on a different career path.

Oh this old nonsense. I wasn’t always a teacher you know. I used to have another career before I was a teacher. Many do you know. How patronising just because you don’t like how this thread has gone

Surely a teacher can sensibly make a judgement call on what type of situation requires one

Of course we can. Pandering to a child who believes a group of his classmates are crap at something isn't one of them.

Vile?!
You really do overreact don't you!

How would it be different for him? Would he feel less "crap"? TBH, I usually do (secondary) have a word with people I move, unless it is a whole class reshuffle. After the lesson. And sometimes I fudge a bit. Especially if a child is likely to catastrophise over a perceived demotion.

Are the people you are responsible for children with different levels of needs

As it happens yes they do but never in a million years could anyone else's job be more challenging than a teachers... could it

Goodnight all

What job do you do, OP?

OP - why on earth have you asked for input when you aren't prepared to take on board what people are telling you.

I completely agree you need to work on your son's resilience more rather than stomp into class over a moved seat!!

Your suggestion that you discuss all your staffing decisions with 400 members of staff is also ludicrous and blatantly untrue!!

Fallen there you go, not a challenge at all to you then

All jobs bring challenges which is why I have never understood the "race to the bottom" attitude that some teachers have.

stomp into class over a moved seat

I actually think she should do this. It would provide a good laugh in the staff room

It's not stomping into class to ask for clarification. And moving a child who perceives anything lower than the top table to be crap probably needs at least a bit of management. It's the compassionate way to deal with it.

I'm not a teacher (I manage a HR department).

Your attitude and therefore the attitude you are passing onto your son is one I see often at work when I'm working out how to remove them from employment because they're a pain in the arse and bully other people with their views which always have to be the right ones.

My daughter is 10. There have been lots of times a teacher has handled things differently to how I would have done based on a child's version of events which may or may not be accurate but until I'm prepared to home school she follows their rules!

Teachers, some of us appreciate you!

I'm please to be a leader not a follower and will encourage my children to never follow the herd like sheep.
Except nobody is telling them to follow the herd.
The longer this thread goes on for the more and more it fits a particular type of parent/high achieving child.
Aka. Child is bright and theit esteem is heavily attached to being seen to be top / better than othet children. Parent thinks their child deserves an explanation for perfectly reasonable teaching decision and doesn't want to be told they are unreasonable. Parent seems overly fixated on their child being top and better than other children.

The way you are talking about the situation (I can imagine it is similar for other posters) absolutely has flashes of 'parent not happy their child isn't on top table and really that should be justified because now my child might have to deal with not being top'.

You and your child aren't owed justifications for every little thing. You've said yourself teachers should exercise judgement when explaining yo children.
We do. And part of that judgement is not getting into who sits where and why debates.

Cross posted with this:
All jobs bring challenges which is why I have never understood the "race to the bottom" attitude that some teachers have.
What race to the bottom?
Next you'll be back saying your child is too smart so made mistakes on the work that probably got him moved tables due to boredom and not enough challenge.

Honestly, I can tell you now at secondary they won't indulge this type of crap.

I've taught high ability, middle, low, SEND nurture groups and mixed ability. I expect all students to find bits of work tough. I expect to need to move them around topic to topic.
As one of my colleagues said about their child, the moment they got concerned about their child was when she was flying through everything and getting 100% correct all the time in one particular subject. Sure get 100% on the y9 papers bit in class there should have been challenge so her DC struggled.
It doesn't do studenys any good to be perfect and top all the time. It means they aren't learning