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Primary education

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Original poster

Search of 7 year old in the classroom

103 replies

user1497559689 · 15/06/2017 22:05

So today I go to pick you children up from school I picked the girls up first then went over to my sons class and waited for him to come out. When he came out he was with the teacher and stayed by her side so I went over and she said she needed to speak to me. She then proceeded to tell me that some of the other children in the class had told her that DS had a rubber in his pocket , when she asked DS she said he got quite upset but she could see the outline of the rubber in his pocket and then she said "so I told him to take his trousers off and give them to me and I removed the rubber from his pocket" they were her exact words). I stood there not quite believing what I'd heard so stopped her at that point and said " rewind back to what you have just said , did you ask him to take his trousers off in the classroom" she replied with "yes I did" at that point I will say I was not very calm n told her to never again tell my child to remove his clothes and she has no right to ask him to remove them , she stumbled a little at that point and said "well we was shortly going to go get ready for pe".
I went straight to the office but no one was available to see at that point so I have an appointment to see headteacher in morning.
Am I right to be furious or am I over reacting? And yes he has been told off for having the rubber and not handing it over x

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mrz · 16/06/2017 16:54

"Who in their right mind thinks that removing clothes is a punishment for stealing a rubber?!" But clothing wasn't removed as a punishment ... he was asked to remove his trousers so that the teacher could search them (very odd but not a punishment or abuse) . I don't know why the teacher felt that this was necessary I certainly wouldn't have gone about it this way. Much easier to insist he empty his pockets or contact the OP to come into school in order to sort it out if the teacher was convinced he had the rubber.

mrz · 16/06/2017 16:56

"Children at that age usually have a sense of modesty " I've never found seven year olds particularly modest they would normally happily remove clothing in front of peers to be changed for PE. Is often more difficult to get them to cover up.

Feenie · 16/06/2017 20:30

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mrz · 16/06/2017 20:49

It's certainly an extremely bizarre story

Feenie · 16/06/2017 21:22

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greathat · 16/06/2017 21:28

I don't get this?
"miss he's got a school rubber in his pocket"
teacher "can i have the rubber back?"
kid "no"
teacher "when you take your trousers off for PE I will remove the rubber from the pocket"
or am I missing something?

Feenie · 16/06/2017 21:48

Yes - The last bit didn't apparently roll like that.

Patriciathestripper1 · 16/06/2017 22:00

"I've never found seven year olds particularly modest they would normally happily remove clothing in front of peers to be changed for PE. Is often more difficult to get them to cover up."

He wasn't changing for p.e mrz he was being confronted infront of the whole class and challenged by the teacher and told to remove his pants. That is child abuse.

mrz · 16/06/2017 22:03

He wasn't told to remove his pants unless the story is changing and becoming more bizarre than it already us

RosePrincess87 · 16/06/2017 23:01

mrz

then she said "so I told him to take his trousers off and give them to me and I removed the rubber from his pocket" they were her exact words).

Stop being pedantic!

mrz · 17/06/2017 05:23

Trousers aren't pants! Its not nearly as emotive to use facts.
The whole story is very odd.

user1497480444 · 17/06/2017 06:04

it isn't about a rubber, it is about stealing and lying

CauliflowerSqueeze · 17/06/2017 06:40

I think the teacher thought that since they all change for PE that him handing her his trousers (as he had refused to comply with handing the rubber over himself) was OK. In that situation it wasn't. So it was misguided.

But I wouldn't call it abusive and I wouldn't be livid. And I wouldn't want her to apologise to him - for him the focus should be on the lying and secreting and refusing to comply. The trousers issue should be between the adults.

flumpybear · 17/06/2017 09:55

Seriously user and cauli- if you were say at work and you'd done something wrong and your boss pulled you up
On it, you wouldn't think it strange to te asked To remove an item of Clothing?! It's humiliating, and it's wrong - it teaches dreadful behaviour, but also that it's ok to abuse or be abused by humiliation and by saying an adult tells you to remove your clothes and that's fine - I bloody hope you're not teachers!

PicaPauAmarelo · 17/06/2017 10:41

Trousers are pants to a lot of English speakers.

It's worrying that so much attention was given to a rubber, what were they supposed to be doing at this time? If it played out like great said then no problem but to call a young child out in front of the class and make them strip to their underpants to humiliate them for bad behaviour is appalling behaviour. 7 year olds can be very modest, that's a commom age for going to school in pyjama dreams. it's actually a classic age to become body/fashion aware.

I'm a psychologist and a teacher, if someone did this to my 7 year old, I'd be fucking livid. Would I let the lying and stealing drop? NO way! It's possible to deal with both at the same time and the focus should be on both. One should not be dropped because he was in the wrong. That's not a message we should send to a child "people can do what they like to you if you do something wrong". The OP is not asking about the stealing/lying, all parents deal with that, some better than others, but this is only about what the teacher did. That needs to be dealt with and I think the teacher needs some classroom managemet interventions. I hope the head supports the teacher in a way that benefits both her and the children. Unfortunately what ofren happens in teaching is that mistakes are taken as major criticisms rather than opportunities to learn and improve. So the schools try to minimise or explain them away. That can be seen by some of the answers on here.

therootoftheroot · 17/06/2017 10:43

o work with seven year olds and i almost certainly have said to he kids who told me-, something like 'oh well i am sure he will put it in the pot in a minute' and then told them to get on with what they are supposed to be doing.

PicaPauAmarelo · 17/06/2017 10:47

Well exactly therootoftheroot trying to minimise it and refocus the class would be the approach of most teachers, not giving the bad behaviour maximum attention. I think that's why I assume the teacher is inexperienced and needs some assistance. Might be out of her depth as they say!

peukpokicuzo · 17/06/2017 10:53

mrz · 17/06/2017 13:22

" I did abit of research last night ready for this morning, and it appears that any child searched must be done with the same sex teacher with another witness present and must be done with a teacher who is authorised by the head teacher " this has nothing at all to do with your child's situation this is the guidance for searching /screening/confiscation of weapons/drugs/alcohol with view to seizure

corythatwas · 17/06/2017 16:11

like other pp have said (and assuming this thread is genuine), there is a big difference

I am quite happy to take my clothing off in front of a colleague in the changing rooms of the swimming baths, while we are all getting ready to swim.

But ask me to do the same in a confrontational situation in the middle of the office or lecture hall and I would feel very different about it.

A 7yo is old enough to understand that distinction.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 17/06/2017 17:56

Not quite the same flumpy is it. If I stole something at work and refused to admit it the police would be called and I would be dismissed. A 7 year old would not be arrested or told never to return. I'm not saying it's OK that it happened. I'm just saying I don't think it is "abuse".

mrz · 17/06/2017 18:05

If this is true I think the teacher should have called the OP when her son refused to hand over the rubber.

PicaPauAmarelo · 17/06/2017 21:24

If the police were called and a person was dismissed for stealing an office rubber that would be both hilarious and cause uproar.

user789653241 · 20/06/2017 07:40

Updates, Op?

Floggingmolly · 20/06/2017 07:51

What did it matter that he had a rubber in his pocket?? Was she implying that he'd stolen it or something?
I'd have her head on a plate for that

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