Search of 7 year old in the classroom

[user1497559689]

So today I go to pick you children up from school I picked the girls up first then went over to my sons class and waited for him to come out. When he came out he was with the teacher and stayed by her side so I went over and she said she needed to speak to me. She then proceeded to tell me that some of the other children in the class had told her that DS had a rubber in his pocket , when she asked DS she said he got quite upset but she could see the outline of the rubber in his pocket and then she said "so I told him to take his trousers off and give them to me and I removed the rubber from his pocket" they were her exact words). I stood there not quite believing what I'd heard so stopped her at that point and said " rewind back to what you have just said , did you ask him to take his trousers off in the classroom" she replied with "yes I did" at that point I will say I was not very calm n told her to never again tell my child to remove his clothes and she has no right to ask him to remove them , she stumbled a little at that point and said "well we was shortly going to go get ready for pe".
I went straight to the office but no one was available to see at that point so I have an appointment to see headteacher in morning.
Am I right to be furious or am I over reacting? And yes he has been told off for having the rubber and not handing it over x

I hope the headteacher takes this seriously. Your poor boy x

Wow. I can't imagine it even occurring to me to ask anyone to take clothes off in order to prove they've nicked something.

(PS I love your son's name!)

I cannot believe there are people on here excusing what this woman did. Its shocking & Id be livid. I would be so upset that a person who is supposed to be looking after my child did this. So humiliating for him. So wrong on so many levels. And it teaches the child that its ok for an adult to demand they take their clothes off. God Im furious for you. And op I know he stole but hes only 7. I wouldn't be too hard on him. Good luck with your meeting would be really interested in hearing how it goes. I hope they come down very hard on her.

Thanks for all points of views , I will update later after I've had the meeting with outcome x

Stealing is very common in this age group
Not to say it's right, but common!

. I hope the head takes it seriously!

Irvine and anyone else who believes that this teacher's actions were acceptable. There are procedures in place for behaviour and each school will have a different support system for both teacher and pupil. Yes, he was completely in the wrong for stealing but the teacher should have followed procedures. Who in their right mind thinks that removing clothes is a punishment for stealing a rubber?! It's disturbing. She would have had a number of options to deal with his behaviour but chose a completely unethical and inhumane form of punishment.

No, I don't think teacher's action was acceptable. I think she is wrong to ask him to remove his clothing.
What I don't find comfortable is about people saying it's a child abuse etc. He did so with his own choice, rather than admitting stealing and handing rubber over. . The teacher is wrong, but she didn't hold him down and pulled his trousers off. He was able to deny handing over, but why couldn't he say no to taking his trousers off? I might be completely missing the point, tbh.

The what's and why and how are irrelevant. Whether he is being a pain in the backside or not needs dealing with but is also irrelevant.

There are strict rules on searching pupils. She did not adhere to them and needs dealing with. Everything else needs addressing but is irrelevant to any discipline she faces.

@irvineoneohone if this was about a man teacher and a young girl I'm sure you'd be on here saying what had happened was terrible. Just stop with the comments.

What happened was wrong. Unacceptable. I really hope it goes okay today when you meet the head teacher. Something needs to be done about this.

Disneykid, telling Irvine to ‘just stop with the comments’ is inappropriate. Her comments, while not the ‘common’ reaction on this thread, may have some validity and were expressed politely. Trying to stifle the view of someone who is merely trying to inject a sense of balance/perspective in this very ‘teacher bashing’ thread is really not on.

The teacher needs to apologise to the boy and admit it never should have happened. It's so important children realise this isn't acceptable.

Thanks, Gin.

It sounds like the teacher pupil relationship went tits up long before this. The teacher was and is clearly way out of her depth with either your son or the class. She needs some serious intervention and help if she's got into power struggles over rubbers and asking kids to remove their clothes. That sounds like a serious mess.

irvineoneohone I get what you're getting at but while this is a scenario for you, this actually happened to the OP's son, put yourself in her shoes. The stealing incident was wrong but this is way more serious.

Even if maybe the teacher thought the threat if the trouser removal would just make the child hand back the rubber, but instead he decided to actually remove his trousers, odd true, but he's 7 and she shouldn't have even asked him to do that. If it was me I'd have left the rubber there and got on with teaching/learning, If she could talk to his mother later then she could have got the rubber later. But it doesn't sound like she has a lot of experience.

I've worked in a second chance school in the USA, I've had weapons, drugs and stolen phones in pockets. Never once did anyone remove or ask children to remove clothing other than coats/jackets and sweaters. That is way beyond appropriate, even asking is very very wrong. If it is serious enough that clothing needs to be removed then there are procedures designed to protect both the child and the adult. A rubber would not fall into the category of "serious enough" under any stretch of the imagination .

If this had happened to your child you'd be livid, I'm sure you would.

The teacher is wrong, but she didn't hold him down and pulled his trousers off. He was able to deny handing over, but why couldn't he say no to taking his trousers off?

The difference is by returning the rubber, he has to admit to the stealing, psychologically that makes the two demands from authority different, you comply to the inappropriate demand because it is just the demand, and not a demand+admission of guilt.

(I don't think it's abusive by the teacher, just poorly chosen and inappropriate because it helps normalise a power that shouldn't be held)

Irvine thanks for you replies on the thread I don't have an issue with anything you've expressed I think everyone has there right to opinions and they are all valid x

I've had a meeting with the head teacher this morning , we are having another meeting with the teacher aswell to discuss what happened , on a while I have a good long relationship with the school and have had no issues in the past, my oldest is 18, so I have known many of the teachers for a long time, I have utmost respect for teachers doing their jobs, they are the ones teaching them and their jobs are very demanding. And I'm hoping that no one took my post as bashing teachers , cos that certainly was not my intention.

I don't also think that what occurred was anyway untoward just that the teacher may have been abit naive in how she handled the situation and may need a little bit more advice on how to handle certain situations that may arise inside the classroom.

Regardless of what has gone on my son is not getting away either for his part in this story and has been made clear to him that it is not acceptable x

I make a point of backing the teachers up generally, but this is not on at all. I would kick up a stink about this too, whatever your son did this is not an appropriate way to deal with it.

What was the head teachers reaction?

What year is he in?

OP I hope you also told your son it's not acceptable for adults to tell him to take his clothes off aswell.

Irvine if this had happened in a different situation then everyone would be saying it's sexual abuse. Just because this happened in a classroom and was used as punishment does not mean that it is less wrong. Abusers used humiliation to control. Teachers are in a position of authority. I can imagine that when a 7 year old has their punishment escalated to removing clothes they are more likely to comply as they feel that they are in bigger trouble. At 7 children very much feel that they have to listen to and obey everything an adult says. If this was a 15 year old boy then they would have told the teacher that the teacher has no right to ask a pupil to remove their clothes and they would have reported the teacher themselves.

I personally want to thank the OP for sharing this. I will be making sure that my children know what a teacher is allowed and isn't allowed to do.

I don't personally feel that you have teacher bashed as this is not the behaviour of a 'normal' teacher. Have witnessed teachers getting reprimanded for much less than this. If this teacher is a young/new teacher then I would worry that she hasn't had the adequate training and possibly her educator needs further training.

OP I honestly think your DS has been through enough. Stealing is wrong for sure, but don't be too hard on him this time: he's already had to remove his trousers in front of the class. Verbally backing the teacher up is surely enough in this instance with the warning of what will happen at home if it happens again.

Irvine There were several things the teacher could have done.

Told the OP's DS to turn his pockets inside out, the rubber would have fallen out on the floor.

Turned the pockets inside our herself, not ideal, but better than having him remove his trousers.
Just told him she could see the outline of the rubber so now he was going to be punished for lying and stealing, which would have encouraged him to give up the rubber at that point.

I am not a teacher and these occurred to me within seconds of reading the OP so why the teacher immediately leapt to 'let's make the child strip off in front of everyone' as the best way to handle this is beyond me.

Mumofone The OP's DS is 7 years old.

Children at that age usually have a sense of modesty so being forced to take off their trousers in front of the class could be humiliating. It's not the same as changing for PE where everyone else is getting changed too.