Moving to the UK, how far behind will my child be?

[thequeenofconfused]

My son is 5 has had no formal education of any kind as compulsory school doesn't start here for another couple of years.
He can recognizes numbers to about 10 but no letters or words, he knows English as we are a bilingual family but I'm sure his use will be far behind that of his peers.
potty training wise he is in pullups, still using them to poop, but okay for wee, he should be okay at school in underpants, what happens when he has an accident?
What should a 5 year old know to 'fit in' with other children of the same age in the uk?

Looking at what the OP says, this is not a case of a completely untoilet trained child, it is a case of a child who has a "thing" about refusing to poo unless they are wearing a nappy. Unfortunately this is really common nowadays. It is not a question of "not being ready," it is a question of, a kid is perma-sealed in a nappy and becomes psychologically incapable of having a bowel movement unless they have got on one--it is a habit that is developed in them by parents and caretakers who never give the child an opportunity of pooing without a nappy on. It was one of the reasons why I got my child used to sitting on the potty and pooing without a nappy on right from very early on, before she got to the toddler stage, and always advise others to do so as well.

OP, you could try getting him to sit on the toilet with the nappy on to poo, then cutting a hole in the nappy to poo through, and progressing from there. Get some kid friendly laxatives into him to make it easier to go if he gets constipated.

Out2pasture at current we are in Tajikistan. Children start formal school here at 7 years old. Until then there is daycare center My child goes to which provide day care activities which are fun for children.
My child is a little late with bowel training but helping in the toileting area is considered normal at this age as the traditional way to clean requires washing instead of paper here due to mostly following Islam religious cleaning rituals of the people here.
There has not been any need to push this area yet as here there has been no need.

We have our first language of Russian and second as English. Ds knows to speak both but can not recognize English character letters yet, i am teaching him to recognizes his name first and the phonic sounds the characters make.

MaryTheCanary thank you i will try to get him doing that in small steps.

Sorry for delay in replying to your question.
Flexi schooling is a part time attendance arrangement with a school.

The toileting and self care is your priority, as these will make his life much easier at school.

The rest will come, and you may be surprised st just how quickly he will pick up English, including phonics, reading and writing, etc.

We regularly have children start school with no English whatsoever. They pretty much all pick it all up incredibly quickly, and after a year you can't always tell them from their classmates on that score.

To make the faster progress I'd go with full time schooling from the off tbh.

www.calderdale.gov.uk/v2/sites/default/files/A3-DM-Tracker.pdf

This is taken from the Early Years Foundation Stage documents, giving broad expectations around developmental stages.
This gives a picture of the whole child, the breadth of development of a child rather than just reading and counting. It is vital that children have a broad base. All areas of a child's development are interlinked as one area supports another. For instance to write, a child needs good fine motor skills, good spoken language and understanding and a range of experiences.

For me as an educational professional the importance of the effective learning characteristics can't be underestimated. These are at the beginning of this document. I have children at school who are new to English (and England). Those who make better progress are those with the characteristics needed to learn. If these are strong children will learn quickly. Hope it helps.

www.letters-and-sounds.com/phase-1.html

And this, taken from the DfE Letters and Sounds doc. Phase 1 activities are absolutely vital before and during learning letter sounds and letter shapes.
Phase 2 is there too which introduces letter sound/print correspondence.

Also include a love of books and stories in any language. This is the child's motivation to want to read.

Part of the issue around toiletting is that many year 1 classes are 30 kids plus a teacher, so the teacher can't leave the room to help a child get changed following an accident.

While I agree completely to try and get him fully toilet trained is the priority, my DS wasn't pooing by himself in the loo until he was nearly 8. This may not be at all relevant to your DS but this is my experience, my DS has no SEN but does have unusual character traits, but nothing that fits a SEN diagnosis. I was really worried about this before he started school and tried really hard to sort it out but failed completely. But it was never ever a problem as he held in the poo until he was home and went regularly every evening. So I worried for nothing! He was fine with weeing, absolutely no problem. It did not seem to cause any problems, no stomach aches or anything. If he is just going to school it may not be a problem as its only a few hours away from home, perhaps more of a problem if he attends wrap around day care and is more hours away from home. My DS was already in the habit of pooing in the evenings after supper before he started school, as he didn't poo at nursery either, from about age 3. The only practical problems it caused were on holidays when you have no set routine, then things were a bit tricky for a few years.

Whatawaytomakealiving those are very helpful to me, he seems to be on tract with these items, this has made me feel better about it all.

MilkRunningOutAgain thank you this has also taken some pressure off me. to know i am not the only one in this situation has helped.

Question...when you say UK.. whereabouts?? Formal education in Scotland starts later...some kids are5.5 here before they start

We are going to East mid-lands Derbyshire.

OP, I am a foregner in England, and a lot of things are done different to my native country.

But the thing is, if you decided to move for whatever reason, you just need to adjust to their custom.
So, you can't think you don't want to pressure him to be potty trained since you are not expected in where you are from.
Person who will suffer will be your ds, if not done.(Stand out, teased, etc.) Children in England are potty trained way earlier, and that's the fact. I am not trying to be mean or anything.
Good luck! And he will be fine.

Hi op

Do you know where in the county you'll be based? Certain areas are far more used to helping settle children from other countries. Where you live will very much dictate the school you are allocated as we are very much a catchment led county

Derbyshire is the furthest inland from the sea you can be, the nearest seaside areas are about 2 hours drive away but we have lots of nice parks, lovely countryside and a couple of theme parks close by

No real advice, apart from this website was really enjoyed by my son, and backed up the phonics he learnt in reception (starts with letter sounds, then moves to more complex sounds and 'tricky' words). I like the way it progressed in a similar way to how my son learnt at school.

www.teachyourmonstertoread.com

Does he let you know at all when he's gone poo, I would start changing him in the bathroom and let him see you flush the solid waste into the toilet.

Thank you, it's very overwhelming.
We will be in South East Derbyshire Schroedingerscatagain. Anywhere is closer to the sea that where we currently are, our country is land locked and very unsafe right now.

Thank you BrrrrrrWentTheAlarmClock these resources of very invaluable to me.

There's been a lot of focus on his toileting, obviously a very important issue which needs sorting before school, But I'm not sure you've mentioned what his other skills are like.
Can he drink from a cup?
Use a knife and fork?
Dress himself?
What are his skills in these areas like?

He can dress
use a knife and fork
do buttons
zips and socks

but not laces.

He's not the best at using a open cup but can manage.

My 9 yr old can barely do laces, just get Velcro shoes and don't worry :)

Op you sound so lovely. To echo other posters, I'd ask school if he can start in reception instead of year1. Don't worry if not: children are in mixed classes with all sorts of abilities. He will catch up.

Someone mentioned songs and CBeebies: this is a great idea. Natural language development rather than taught phonics is a good first step.

It's worth familiarising yourself with the way people do play dates and birthday parties and what to expect/bring, etc. as I know etiquette is very different in every country.

Feel free to message me with any questions

I honestly wouldn't stress too much about phonics. My son had a Japanese boy start in his class this year (reception). not a word of English and didn't know any letters, he has made huge progress.

Sort out the toileting without stressing him about letters first.

My son started year 1 last September, having missed reception due to us living abroad, and has settled in and caught up just fine. He didn't know any phonics and his letter and number recognition was sketchy (although English has always been first (only!) language), but he had been at preschool so was sufficiently prepared socially with sitting still, following instructions etc. As I'm sure your son will be too OP, if he's been attending daycare.

Will you be moving to a city or somewhere rural OP? Schools in more urban areas will probably be more used to children joining who have been raised in different cultures and who don't have english as a first language.

Get the toilet training and personal care sorted. The school will likely have provision for children with English as an additional language so I wouldn't overly worry about that. If he is bright he will pick up what he needs to.

Don't panic. There is a wide range of ability in year 1. The teachers will cope and if your ds has no special needs he will catch up quickly. A boy joined ds' yr1 class from abroad (no nursery/ school before) and his writing is better than ds' a few months later!
Work in toilet training - you still have 3 months. My ds had loads of accidents (wee and poo) at school for the first two terms and it was no big issue. That sorted itself out too.

Don't panic. There is a wide range of ability in year 1. The teachers will cope and if your ds has no special needs he will catch up quickly. A boy joined ds' yr1 class from abroad (no nursery/ school before) and his writing is better than ds' a few months later!
Work in toilet training - you still have 3 months. My ds had loads of accidents (wee and poo) at school for the first two terms and it was no big issue. That sorted itself out too.