Moving to the UK, how far behind will my child be?

[thequeenofconfused]

My son is 5 has had no formal education of any kind as compulsory school doesn't start here for another couple of years.
He can recognizes numbers to about 10 but no letters or words, he knows English as we are a bilingual family but I'm sure his use will be far behind that of his peers.
potty training wise he is in pullups, still using them to poop, but okay for wee, he should be okay at school in underpants, what happens when he has an accident?
What should a 5 year old know to 'fit in' with other children of the same age in the uk?

Thank you again everyone.

hellomarshmallow what are these rules around play dates and birthday parties, i haven't even begun to think about socializing outside of school.

I'm hoping in 3 months i will have him read for school and the UK, there is a lot i still don't know today i found out you don't have midday naps at infant school.

The school day is very short though, 9-3 usually. They are tired afterwards, though. They have lunch at school, you get free lunch at that age or you can send a packed lunch. Standard packed lunch: sandwich, cucumber, fruit, crisps and a water bottle. Usually no nuts or food containing nuts allowed in school

Don't worry, no scary rules, I just know that friends of mine found it a bit strange and unknown to begin with! Parties: you stay with your child, usually 2 hours, bring a present costing around £5 maybe...and a card. There's food for kids but not for the adults. Sometimes the whole class is invited but usually only 10 children from the class which can cause a bit of disappointment at times.

In 3 months, I'd just tackle toilet training, getting dressed for pe and some English songs and basics.

A typical infant school class runs from approx 9 am to 3pm, possibly slightly earlier/later. Lunch is eaten around midday at school followed by time in the playground. There are also shorter breaks mid morning and sometimes mid afternoon, no naps. Check out some of the potential school websites as that might give you an idea of structure of the school day. Most formal learning sessions like literacy and numeracy will be in the mornings. There may also be "circle time" at the start of the day which introduces what is planned during the day. Bear in mind that for year 1, or even Reception if arriving in July, you will only be offered schools with available places, not necessarily the most local ones.

No naps during the school day unfortunately.

but not laces.
That is okay, most shoes made for children have velcro fasteners.

He's not the best at using a open cup but can manage.

This is also okay, most children will be using some variety of water bottle while at school and at activities.

I would get him 'mark making' with anything you have handy. Pens, pencils, crayons, chalk, sticks in mud etc. Also do jigsaw puzzles etc to aid fine motor skills. Get him to make the letter shapes with dough or clay.

'Letters and sounds' starts with s,a,t,p,i,n. Prior to that they will do lots of finding things that start with the same sound, rhyming etc. Also 'Fred talk' - breaking words up into their sounds. Start with his name and then just do whatever is around!

Read lots of picture books to him so he become a used to the sounds in English. There are loads on YouTube if you are not confident with pronunciation.

As soon as you know what school he will be going to get in touch and ask what you can do. They may have a pack or at least a routine for children starting from different countries.

I really think you shouldn't worry too much, it will likely project onto him and then make him anxious, which is the last thing he needs to be.
I agree it would be great if he was relatively independent at using the toilet, doing up buttons, zips, changing shorts for pe, but good reception teachers will be assisting others with this, and if he's about to start then they will have 'trained up' the others, so a bit more time for your ds.
As for phonics etc, the school probably use a certain phonics scheme, but I wouldn't be rushing to do too much about cramming, as the 'pure sounds' can get confused, if you do do anything it's worth checking for pure phonic sounds on you tube or similar as they will help you get a 'sssss' rather than a 'suh' sound, for a 's' which means if you sound out bus you say 'buh' uh 'ssss' if I were in your situation I would just read to him as much as you can, point to the words as you read, a love of books and understanding the basics like the text flows left to right and from the top of the page to the bottom is important and only really learnt from reading lots.

If you have access to Alphablocks on BBC tv my children love it and play he Alphablocks game on the phone app too.

There is so much brilliant advice from you all, i will be very busy.

redcaryellowcar i try not to make him worry but it is going to be a big adjustment for the whole family and getting basics now will help for later.

The school will likely have provision for children with English as an additional language so I wouldn't overly worry about that

Google translate in my friend who is a teacher's case.

My DD was one of those (British) children who was weeing in the toilet by her third birthday, but resistant to doing the same with poo. She wasn't dry at night, so she would just hold it in (give or take a few accidents) until her night-time nappy.

We did a gradual process of sitting on the loo with a nappy on for a week or so, then undo one fastening for a week, then the other... eventually we got as far as being in the room with her whilst holding the nappy in our hands (nowhere near her) before there was no nappy involved at all. She got the hang of it a bit before her 4th birthday.

Good luck!

As a teacher - though of a slightly different age group - if your child arrived I would be absolutely expecting, and prepared for, language issues, and would also be aware of and sensitive to the fact that other countries have different school starting ages so 'school' might be a new concept for him.

I wouldn't necessarily be particularly aware of e.g. different ages for expectations of self-care (this thread has been useful in reminding me of that) so might be less prepared for / expecting that.

Basic putting on / taking off / hanging up coat, recognising name, eating independently (either from a lunch plate or from a packed lunchbox that he can open, depending on whether taking school dinners), drinking from a water bottle with a pull up or valve spout (probably more common than open cups except in the dinner hall), and managing toileting would probably be a minimum list, with the ability to at least make a good start on getting changed for PE also a good thing. Even if he has very limited spoken English, knowing 'Please' and 'Thank you' will get him a LONG way in getting help from adults!

One thing that may be used in helping him orientate himself / give him ideas about what might be coming are picture cards showing e.g. lunch, breaktime, maths, reading. if you perhaps made a game of using picture cards now, for various things you do every day, so he could go to the table when you showed him the 'lunch' card or whatever, it might help him to get used to the concept?

Once you know what school he is going to, it may be possible to e-mail / ring them so they know what sorts of things he can already do and what he might need a hand with.

You might want to continue using a swim nappy even after he's trained, i imagine it'll be very easy for DS to forget in the pool.

I did not consider swimming bitteroldhag, are lesson of swimming given in school?

Primary schools are required to ensure all children can swim a short distance. Whether they all actually do this, I'm not sure. Some schools have a pool of their own, others take the children to another pool. If they have their own pool they might swim from reception, but I think that may be the minority.

Majority of schools won't do swimming until year 3/age 7. I think it is part of ks2 curricukum but even then it is not every week. A few schools may still have a pool onsite but usually swimming lessons for younger children are optional activities outside the school day at leisure centres etc. It might be worth at least getting him water confident before the school eventually start swimming.

My ds's school starts swimming lesson from yr3, and it's every week for whole term.
I've read on MN some school starts from reception.

My ds was scared of water(more like phobia of water on his face), so never been in the big pool before started swimming lesson in school. But he was fine. But he was actually an only child who has never been in the pool before and cannot swim at all.

Thank you. It seems to me that i can't plan too far without finding which school from this point. So i will be on waiting until then to find out things like swimming as it seems to be school specific.

As long as you are willing to try most school will be willing to accommodate you.

You sound lovely OP and you are doing absolutely the best thing by asking for and taking on board advice to get your child prepared. Don't worry too much about maths, reading, writing, etc. I have taught many EAL children and at this early stage they catch up within a year or so - they're like sponges! With regards to 'taking care' of himself, it sounds like it is only bowel movements he struggles with. Teachers and schools are used to FS, Y1 and sometimes Y2 children who are still struggling with toilet issues. They will (hopefully!) communicate well with you about this and then make agreements on what happens if he has an accident and work with you to put in plans for potty training. Schools only get cross when parents blatantly don't care and make no attempts to train. They will definitely appreciate your honesty and your support. Good luck for the move!

Thank you purplerose my mind has been put more at rest by this, i am reassuringly trying to get him to be clean. We are having progress with recognizing his name in English letters too so i feel positive.

www.eric.org.uk/pdf-children-who-will-only-poo-in-a-nappy Maybe helpful

Children only Pooping in nappies is actually really common and happens all over the world, i wouldn't worry too much.

Well done with recognizing his name!