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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

DD (7y) is leaving a co-ed school to a girls' school, what to expect?

28 replies

ShiftLD · 17/05/2017 14:24

DD (7) has got a place in an excellent only girls school, we are all very proud of her but a little worried if she will miss the boys, if it will have some impact on her. She is our only child and our family leaves abroad so no brothers/cousings around. We keep thinking of how to mix her with boys from now, how to bring a bit of male universe into her life and how to keep her friendships from the old school (in this case including the girls). x

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KingsandQueensofMars · 17/05/2017 14:44

I'm also interested in this as we are in exactly the same position - especially as DD's main interests are dancing, gymnastics etc which don't have many/any boys in the class.

Skyllo30 · 17/05/2017 14:45

I imagine it'll be fine. I went to a co-ed primary, all girls' secondary for 3 years which became mixed for the remaining 4 years. Can't say I noticed any difference!

KingsandQueensofMars · 17/05/2017 15:09

You're probably right skyllo - she's currently happy there won't be any annoying boys!

Does your DD know anyone else going? That's my bigger worry as my DD is the only one from her school and so is a little worried about making new friends

KeiraTwiceKnightley · 17/05/2017 15:25

Maybe a martial art like taekwon do?

SadieTheNurse · 17/05/2017 15:29

Cubs or scouts?

noramum · 17/05/2017 16:13

DD will move from a co-ed primary to a girls-only secondary. No male children relatives and none of her close friends has male siblings close to her age/older.

We will enrol her into Scouts, tried cubs but the waiting list is too long.

Original poster

ShiftLD · 17/05/2017 16:34

KingsandQueensofMars she is the only one going to this school as it was an occasional place. However she is not really worried about making new friends or maybe didn't think about it yet.

This school goes till secondary and thats our main concern, not having daily contact with boys. I'm from abroad where the schools are 99% co-ed, this is a new world for me. Could you please share your experiences? x

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CaulkheadUpNorf · 17/05/2017 16:38

Two God-daughter (sisters).

Sally began all girls in yr6. Made friends with girls who had brothers. All fine. Now 22.

Sarah began all girls at nursery. Now yr 11, does not know any boys, embarrassed when talking to them etc.

Sally says she has always been happy in education, knows boys through church. Sarah is younger and knows none, says she wishes she had gone co-ed.

Promote clubs and sports, especially things she can get involved in now, so not everything feels new in September.

totallyzonkedout · 17/05/2017 16:41

I would 2nd cubs.
my dd goes to scouts now, having moved to cubs from brownies. It's brilliant and she loves it.

BarbarianMum · 17/05/2017 19:42

What to expect? Well she won't be sexually harassed. She will have access to the whole curriculum without feeling (or her teachers feeling) that x is for boys. She will have more opportunities to play an active role in class/activities without being sidelined or over-ridden. She will find the idea of boys more alluring than if constantly exposed to the real thing.

At least that's how I remember it.

beautifulgirls · 17/05/2017 20:49

I did the same at the same age and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I was at that school from 8yrs through to leaving at 18yrs and went onto university where I had no problem studying with or being around boys again. It was just the way it was and no-one made a big deal of it. What was harder for me was moving from a school where I had friends for many years and suddenly having to learn how to make new friends from scratch at Uni. That isn't stopping us from making the same choice for our DDs though, it was harder but I coped just fine.

bigbadbarry · 17/05/2017 20:54

DD1 is at a girls' school. It was the only thing I worried about - we loved the school in every other way. I have only daughters and most of my friends have girls so I was concerned she would never speak to a boy. Two things reassured me: 1, that I went through a normal mixed comp and never spoke to a boy (!) and 2, I liked something the maths teacher said to me, when I shared my worries. She'd been to an all-girls school and nobody had ever told her that she shouldn't study physics and engineering until she got to university. (That was very much not my experience.)
She goes to scouts, swimming lessons, various other mixed activities. She says she prefers it :)

wickerlampshade · 17/05/2017 21:33

make sure that stuff she does outside school is co-ed e.g. cubs instead of brownies. she'll be fine.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 17/05/2017 21:50

Why are you moving her from co-ed to an all girls if you're so worried about her not mixing with boys?
Surely there are good independent schools that are co-ed so therefore avoid the situation that you find yourself in?

Ifonlyoneday · 18/05/2017 00:10

Cubs, beavers, scouts

noramum · 18/05/2017 11:24

Bigbadbarry - I went to a co-ed secondary (single sex is rare in my home country). I have an A-level in maths and biology, a female friend has one in chemistry and started studying to become a pharmacist (changed to economics later). I have shared classes with females who played football as a hobby on regional level. I had boys in home economic classes and art classes.

It depends on the view parents give to a girl what they can do and achieve. DD goes to a co-ed junior and comes home with talks like "men are doctors and women are nurses" despite going to a female GP, female dentist, and we have to counteract a lot about male/female views.

I am more concerned about that DD won't interact with boys between 11-16, in my opinion a crucial age to learn how the other sex ticks. She will move from all girls up to GCSE level to co-ed Sixth form and I think that is a bad idea. Unfortunately we are out of catchment of the co-ed secondary since 3 years now, we were comfortably in when we moved into out current house 7 years ago.

chickensaresafehere · 18/05/2017 11:35

Worse thing I ever did!
The competition,bullying and bitchiness day in,day out was awful.I hope your dd's school is different.

chickensaresafehere · 18/05/2017 11:36

*worst not worse!!

bigbadbarry · 18/05/2017 14:43

noramum I also have science qualifications from a co-ed comp. I was the only girl to do A level physics and the teacher used to explain things specially to little me (!!!) In a way it did me a favour because I got so mad I worked really hard and got the best mark in the class. But that is not at all the same as my DD's experience at a girls' school now, where of course girls can do physics and maths, play football, do anything they want. There is definitely no suggestion that they should be nurses not doctors because they are girls.
I obviously phrased my previous post badly if you thought I was saying no girls do science at mixed schools.

noramum · 18/05/2017 16:32

Bigbad - I understood your post that your experience was that teacher would belittle girls and focus on boys for certain subjects and encourage girls into others. I just wanted to show that a co-ed can also be different.

The bottom line is - with all schools - how is the school focusing on subjects, how many girls/boys take which subject in exams. My friend just got the old line "oh, boys will be boys" from a co-ed Y2 teacher when she complained about bullying towards her DS. That's hardly what I want to hear from a teacher in any school. In girl especially - how is the school dealing with matters like bitchiness and Queen Bee-behaviour.

bojorojo · 19/05/2017 09:37

My younger DD went to girls only from age 8 to 18. They really do meet boys! Neighbours, siblings of friends, holiday activities. She was never short of boy friends. She could flourish at school without them and when our elder DD went to a girls secondary school she didn't miss boys very much either. Their world seemed to be Xboxes, jokes, being silly and arguing about football. Fast forward to age 16, we had about 20 boys to her 16th birthday party! They do get to know boys. Fast forward to her 21st and there were about 50 boys invited! Boy world is completely understood!

Hersetta427 · 19/05/2017 11:09

see if you can get her into beavers which runs to 8yrs. Cubs is 8-10 and then scouts is 10-14.

Maybe she could do football lessons - always lots of boys !

Leeds2 · 19/05/2017 21:06

My DD's all girls secondary had what they called "socials", on a termly basis, with a nearby boys' school. For my DD, these were all disco type events, but when she left I understand they were looking at doing activities such as ten pin bowling instead. My DD never made any friends through this, but her friend in the year above made lots of male friends who are still her friends even now they are at uni. Your DD's school may do something similar if you ask.
Her school also did CCF with a mixed school. Wasn't a success for DD, but some enjoyed it.

drspouse · 24/05/2017 14:14

Two of my late secondary/Uni aged friends were at girls' schools.
One did not really cater for science, this was in the O level era but they did Double Science instead of separate O levels (this was rare/a lower comprehensive type choice at the time, despite this being a selective school). They did needlework etc. and seemed to be trying to produce Young Ladies. But as I say this was quite a while ago!

The other was shocked on starting university that there was actually prejudice and harassment in the world. I knew all about those having been at an ex-boys-school with a minority of girls... where the girls would also say "oh that's not a girls' subject is it?"

nocampinghere · 25/05/2017 12:18

just because many of you had a bad co-ed experience 30 years ago DOESN'T MEAN IT'S THE SAME NOW

i would never send my dds to an all girls school.

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