I'm finding it difficult not to compare my ds with his classmates

[Freakbag]

There are only 11 pupils in ds year. It's a small village school, only 50 odd in the school as a whole.
The village is small so everyone knows eachother, 4 out of the 11 live on the same road!

Most of the children in ds class I have interacted with, they have been to my house I have socialised with their parents. I also volunteer for reading sessions at the school.

I have an idea of how most of the kids in ds school are doing academically. I know that ds is one of the lower achievers in the class.

In my head I am stressed because ds isn't up to the same standard. I need to overcome this as it's driving me mental.

I get frustrated & stressed when he lacks any enthusiasm to do his reading or maths at home because I am imagining all the orher kids in his class reading fluently and keenly to their parents.

Rationally I know they all develop at their own pace and I certainly don't want to push ds and make him resent learning. I want him to have fun, learn whilst playing and doing his own thing but I'm feeling the pressure.

I feel awful and need a slap

Yes talking he plays alot at home independently. We don't have any consoles, he has a kindle fire which he's only allowed on weekends and long car journeys. He has a couple hrs of telly after school, mixed with toy play and playing with dsis.

I'm not afraid to irvine I just feel he's too young to be tested for dyslexia. There are no other sen concerns.

Thanks who my friend is an ot. I'll ask her some questions. Don't really know what their jobs is.

We went to local museum today on the train. I encouraged him to read as much as possible but he never does it automatically off his own back. He's so used to getting through life without reading that he doesn't even try. I've tried to explain to him that I am reading every day, road signs, noticed etc.

What's online kiddie news?

I've worked with children on yellow band in y1/y2/y3. The most important thing is that they are always making progress. Working with the school to set small achievable targets is the most effective way.

Is he reading every day at school? Are you all working on the same things?
Despite the children at school reading to me whenever I asked, DS1 was a nightmare at home! He could read but was just very unwilling so I understand how frustrating it can be. What books is he bringing home? Old biff and chip books are not the best for supporting reading.

If he is working on ew/ue/u_e at school I would support this at home by writing him some funny sentences to read.
The blue glue was new.
The chew was on the flute.

Do this for all the sounds he knows and come back to them often

I used to break down DS1's reading like this so he was still reading but it avoided the 30 minutes of moaning that came before reading one page.

What strategies do the school have in place for lack of concentration?

Sorry mrz£ I just saw info*s post. Yeah I think kiddie news would be too much. He is daunted by big chunks of text

Thanks coconut very helpful.

I don't feel he's getting any help with helping him concentrate

I would arrange another meeting with the school. It's no good them telling you he has trouble concentrating then not putting anything in place.

Is it every subject? Or is he more distracted during activities requiring more reading?

His own work station has been mentioned. Setting clear targets, you need to do 5 questions, with a reward for doing it could be tried.
Is he motivated by rewards or competition?

Maybe some kind of sticker chart/reward jar at school?

" There are no other sen concerns. "

But needing extra help learning/concentration is special educational needs, isn't it?
Like gifted children needs special educational needs to stretch them as well?

Yes whos last yr in yr1 he was doing 20mins of smart steps every morning in school, with about 5 other children from across the school (all boys). Were they'd be active before starting the day. Not sure what impact it had but they don't do it anymore.

He would be motivated by rewards more than competition. I'll give this a go at home.

irvine I was thinking more along the lines of specific testing and labels. Like he hasn't been flagged to have adhd.

My ds' school never flagged my ds to have any either, but I always doubt that he has, since he has traits.
He was seen by paed when he was 2, since he was so different, the results were inconclusive since he was too young, he didn't meet any criteria. Since then, all the quirkyness has become less and less and he has adjusted fine to school, so we haven't chased it. But I am always ready to accept if he has some difficulty.

The school could also set up a reward system for him. Stickers/ marbles in a jar working towards a bigger reward that will motivate him. Could be 15 minutes on the iPad, time with lego, 15 minutes drawing time.
Reward for periods of concentration/ remaining in task. Starting with smaller achievable amounts of time.

I agree with coconut - the school need to be supporting him.

My DS1 is a year younger, and whilst reading isn't an issue, he's easily the worst writer in his year (and, if I'm honest, the year below) - plus a number of other things which lead us to think that he's dyspraxic, but he's too young to be diagnosed, so he sees an OT once a week to help him (first organised and suggested through the school, now we pay to get him extra time).

Honestly, DS1 is so much like his dad, that I can't help but adore him and his unco-ordinated self. I know that it's going to be a steep climb for him (basically, anything his little brother just picks up, he's had to practise at for ages and often still can't do as well - even relatively automatic stuff like potty training/bedwetting). Keep your son's confidence as high as you can, work on it with him without pressure, and don't worry about the other kids. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

Freakbag I just wanted to give you some hope. He sounds just like my DS. Struggled to read in FS2 saying he couldn't read it. Both school and I thought he was reluctant until the vision checks happened at the end of the year. His eyesight is awful!! YR1 was spent patching during the school day in the mornings and then we had to put Atropine in his eyes during YR2. He ended YR2 on the yellow level.

He is now in YR6. Its been so tough and not an easy ride. DS has also just been diagnosed with SEN. He may, and it will take so much work, just scrape a working within national standards at the end of this year. During YR2 I would never have thought that this would be possible.

Just keep working at it. And don't give up. Keep on at the school asking what they are doing to support him.

Piratefairy78, you say your ds has been diagnosed with sen in yr6. Don't you think the school life has been better for him if he was diagnosed earlier?

Thing is, that I really am not sure for my ds to be tested since all the teacher says he has no sen and he has no trouble at school except one subject. . But he does struggle with concentration on certain things, and I wonder is it better for him to have formal diagnosis.

What do you think of the teacher? I ask because DS1 had a teacher last year who told me he had no special needs, but the OT assessment (and, anyone who knows him) clearly say otherwise.

Irvine we've been very lucky that at my DS school we have the most amazing SENCo ever. Her, the teachers and TAs have helped my DS so much. He had a pead appointment in YR3/4 and I was totally dismissed as being neurotic etc. They helped me gather so much evidence I don't think I could have gone through it all again! DS is very Fortunate that even if his SEN was confirmed earlier I honestly don't think the school could have done any more. We've only fought so hard to get a diagnosis now to help with transition to secondary and the challenges that will bring.

Thank you , Piratefairy78

Sounds like great school, and great that everything worked out for your ds.

I trust his teachers, they are very experienced. It's a small school so the senco isn't huge but there are a couple of children in ds year with sn, and a couple more througout the school. They have experienced TAs working throughout the school and inc with ds.