I'm finding it difficult not to compare my ds with his classmates

[Freakbag]

There are only 11 pupils in ds year. It's a small village school, only 50 odd in the school as a whole.
The village is small so everyone knows eachother, 4 out of the 11 live on the same road!

Most of the children in ds class I have interacted with, they have been to my house I have socialised with their parents. I also volunteer for reading sessions at the school.

I have an idea of how most of the kids in ds school are doing academically. I know that ds is one of the lower achievers in the class.

In my head I am stressed because ds isn't up to the same standard. I need to overcome this as it's driving me mental.

I get frustrated & stressed when he lacks any enthusiasm to do his reading or maths at home because I am imagining all the orher kids in his class reading fluently and keenly to their parents.

Rationally I know they all develop at their own pace and I certainly don't want to push ds and make him resent learning. I want him to have fun, learn whilst playing and doing his own thing but I'm feeling the pressure.

I feel awful and need a slap

I am thinking about dyslexia rainbow but I'm also worried about
labelling him and he's just not interested at the moment.

I think I would be tempted to go with bribery.... you say he likes Lego? Perhaps he could earn a small Lego set by reading so many pages of a book or several books (whatever target you think is appropriate) over the course of a fortnight etc. Sticker chart etc?
I'd second the Dragons Cove books - lots of boys like those at school, particularly the 'reluctant readers'

There's website as well.

www.dinosaurcove.co.uk/

I think bribery would work. I've never used it before as never too sure about it. But I think i'm going to have to give it a try.

Thanks for the book recomendations, and thanks forbthe link irvine

I have all of the suggestions and links added to my phone. I'll have a good look at them all and transfer in to ds kindle.
Thanks everyone

BTW are your sons evenings very busy? If he has lots of extra curricular activities he might just feel like relaxing when he gets home rather than reading. Likewise if he is allowed TV or iPad or similar all evening then reading might seem more of a chore.

No brief he has 2 activities a week. The rest of the time we are at home, sometimes he'll have a friend round.

He goes to play as soon as he's home, I've read that a good time to do homework is straight after school when they're still in school mode but this doesn't work for him, so I let him play. I then make dinner and then afywr dinner they watch the telly. I'm going to delay telly time by half an hour and do some homework/reading then. See if this helps his enthusiasm. We also read every morning before school but admittedly it is a bit rushed.

Hi OP,
I think if your DS is struggling through Yellow/stage 3 books at the moment, then throwing magazines and books like Dinosaur Cove at him won't magically make him be able to read.
On the contrary, they could be so far out from his current ability that he gives up/decides that reading is just not for him.

Seeing as he is on yellow school books, can I ask, are these phonically decodable books? I have a suspicion that they are not! If they are, do they match your DS' phonics knowledge?

I think children can really be put off reading if they are taught phonics but then told to read books that are not (yet) decodable. They are just expected to somehow magically be able to 'read' words that they haven't been taught the skills they need for. And the phonics that they do know, seems pointless as it can rarely be used for reading, as most of the words they encounter can't be decoded with their current level of phonics anyway.

I think if I were you I'd really focus on the phonics. Find out what that extra phonics support at school entails (at our school I'm afraid it's just more of the same, bad teaching that can barely be called phonics and that didn't work first time round either). Work out what phonics he knows and what he doesn't yet know. Give him things to read that are (for him) decodable. Give him the experience of success, of being able to apply his skills and achieve results. Do NOT make/ask him to read words that are beyond his current phonics knowledge.

Thanks big He can read about 90% of text in the yellow stage book. A bit alow with words longer than 4 letters long and words such as enough or who.
When I read more advanced books, like those that have been mentioned on here I never expect him to read the whole thing and will just pick out words for him to read.
He has a phonics folder that comes home with him every day and we go through the words in there but he knows them all. There 18 words all with different sounds.

If he has secure phonics knowledge, now it's matter of more practice.
Obviously the eye issue may have hindered him in early days, and it might still give him reluctance, so find something he wants to read is the key?

I have a friend who had a son with same issue. The boy still struggled a bit after getting right treatment for eyes, but eventually caught up with help from school and home. Good luck OP.

Are you sure the phonics knowledge is secure though if he's only got 90% of a yellow book, which wouldn't even cover all the different phonics sounds? When did last move a book level?

What did he get in the phonics screening check last year? I'd be really pushing the school about the phonics, and not just carry on re-reading books, that approach doesn't appear to be working.

In DS' school they won't assess for SEN in KS1 unless it's very severe and debilitating so if you do go down this route, don't be surprised if they try to fob you off.

my DS is 7 in Yr 3, summer born, and is just limping to start to read. Compared with other kids we know of his age his reading is very poor, and the government shifting the milestones up hasn't helped so the gap looks huge.

I would love DS to be able to read well, and have a pen licence, but I have to take that step back and understand that me standing outside the door wanting to scream with frustration won't get him there. So long as you do some reading every day, and keep at it, you're doing your best for him without bleeding the enjoyment out of life. He may read recipes, or non-fiction books. I'd avoid comics as, as they get older, then tend to be in block capitals which are harder to read easily.

There shouldn't be many words such as 'enough' and 'who' in yellow level books. Maybe one ore two in the whole book. And certainly a child working on yellow level books would not be expected to decode those words. That is, assuming the school are providing books matched to the child's phonics knowledge (as they are required to do)? It doesn't sound like they are!

And what do you mean 'a phonics folder' and you 'go through the words' and 'he knows them all'? That sounds odd and makes me suspect that although it is called phonics, it isn't phonics. Or do you mean he can sound out all the words? Can he sound out words he hasn't met before, using his phonics?

Your thread is about finding it hard not to compare, so we're digressing here. But I fear your situation may be a case of the school teaching mixed methods and this seems not to be working for your DS. It doesn't work for one in five children... Your DS falling behind his classmates may be an effect of bad teaching methods. Leaving it to school to fix may not be the best strategy here (as they seem to subscribe to bad teaching methods). Leaving it to time may not be good enough, either. All the love of books and stories you are nurturing in him, and all maturity of age may not make much difference if your child isn't taught how to read, if he is one of those 20% who do not figure out the phonic code by themselves.

I may be wrong about your school's teaching. But from what you write, I get that impression.

My own DS is in Y2 and I know some of his classmates are at similar stages as your DS. Our school's phonics teaching is not very good. So I may be projecting. I feel very sorry for those kids who struggle needlessly.

As only 50% of children got over 100 in their SATS tests last year, a diet of phonics hasn't improved anything either!

That's the national figure ...you need to look at schools that actually teach phonics rather than pay lip service to it while clinging to mixed methods to reach a reliable conclusion

And the 53% is the number of children who reached the expected standard in all three subjects.

I saw the teacher this evening. She explained that there are a few sounds he's not getting, they are 'ue' 'ew' & 'u_e' as there are 2 sounds to them and he confuses them.
The phonics pack has been put together by the school and the sounds are in it on their own and in words.
She says she is worried about him as he is very bright but lacks any sort of concentration when left to work independently.

We've had a small breakthrougj this evening, I've introduced him to teach your monster to read and he spent an hour working through the 2nd level, breezing through it. I'll try the 3rd level in a couple days.

"She explained that there are a few sounds he's not getting, they are 'ue' 'ew' & 'u_e' as there are 2 sounds to them and he confuses them."
They are all the same sound just different spellings blue, flew, June.
If this is the only sound causing him problems I wouldn't be worried if I was his teacher.

She worried about his general lack of concentration. The fact that he can't seem to work independently as he gets distracted easily. So he's not doing anything.

Maybe introduce more time at home where he is to play alone at something that requires concentration? not ps4

Do you know oxford reading tree has an app sinyou can ready the books on a tablet? Sometimes a bit of tech is a push in the right direction.

Have they tried removing distractions? Created a workstation for him with low stimulation environment?

Why are you afraid to get him tested/labelled? If he doesn't have any sen, then great, but if he does, getting a diagnosis/help earlier would help him in the long run.
I don't know all 11 children's levels at your school to make you feel that he is only at lower end, are class generally low achieving? Yellow at yr2 in my ds' school is lower end of yr1.
General lack of concentration and low reading level would make me take more action then just worrying and comparing with others in the class.

I would encourage his reading by giving him material to read other than the standard kiddie books. Encourage him to read some news ( there are online kids news articles ) ....or ask your family to write simple letters to him and mail them to your add with his name on it. Don't help him, let him read on his own. Talk to his class teacher and take their feedback, they are professionals and experts in this area, use them.
I wouldn't worry too much if teachers /school haven't raised any red flags.

If he's really only reading at yellow band standard he won't be able to access online kiddie news