School trip and music lesson clash, your advice please

[mouldycheesefan]

School trip clashes with day my dd 9 has a music lesson in school. She has been offered to go on the trip with another class in a different day. She became very tearful when this was suggested saying she doesn't want to go on the trip with another class, she wants to go with her friends in her class. This would mean her missing the music lesson which I already have paid for.
She started the music lessons this term because she was keen to learn the instrument. The deal was that she would have the instrument as a birthday present and would practice willingly. we would support her by paying for the lessons, music books and hearing her practice.
In the few weeks since she started she has missed a lesson because she forgot, lost her music book, not been very focused during practice and now she wants to miss another lesson so she can go on the trip with her class.
I have contacted school to see if she can shift the lesson to another day but this seems doubtful as an option.
I admit that I don't want to be paying out for lessons that she doesn't attend. Would it be harsh to say that she has to refund me the cost of he lesson?
She does five other extra curricular activities and works hard in school and is intelligent. We do four practices in the instrument of ten mins each per week, two by herself and two with parent.

Should I just say fine miss the lesson, is it worth the tears and faff?
Appreciate words of wisdom

Thanks all really appreciate your comments. School have confirmed that the lesson cannot be rescheduled so she either misses the lesson and goes on the trip with her class (her preference) or takes up the school suggestion of going on the trip with another class which means she can do the lesson and the trip. (my preference).

My own mother is a horrendously unreasonable woman. We are nc following advice on Mn. I don't want to be like her I want to be reasonable hence asking people's thoughts here. All i have said to my dd is that we will find a solution. On that basis I won't be taking the advice of a pp to cancel the lessons and sell the instrument (that she only got six weeks ago as a birthday present).

Actually I bet the school have not even asked the music teacher. Am going to give dd a note to give him direct.

I wouldn't cancel the classes just yet, heavens, she's only been at it for less than half a term. You sound very unforgiving.

If missing classes in school time is an issue then find an after school or weekend class. But I think you have to let children have a proper go at trying things out, and cancelling after one half term is it. Unless she's actively unhappy keep on for this year and assess at the end.

*isnt it.

River tam. It was a pp suggesting I cancel the lessons, not me. I was saying there was no way I would do that in response. I am not "unforgiving" i am trying to give dd both the lesson and the trip with her friends. You misread my post.

Hate it when people make derogatory comments when the haven't even read the bloody post

Yes, you're right, I misread your post. I'm sorry.

You are forgiven 😂

I'd be upset at a missed lesson but I'd be upset at the schools liason with the peri. No way would I make my daughter go with a different class. When her class goes she'll be stuck in the wrong class and missing out and then will miss work when she goes with the different class. It's quite mean :(

Don't make her go with a different class group. One lesson isn't worth that. Perhaps get her to promise to practice 6 days out of 7 for the next two weeks (for at least 15 mins a day) if she misses the lesson? Create a compromise which has a positive impact on the instrument.

We are talking about a 20 min lesson.

To make her go with another class is, imo cruel and a sure fire way of putting her off learning an instrument!

For 20 mins you are going to put her in a different class for 2 days - you seriously think this is a good idea?

If you learn in school with a peri teacher there will be incidents like this - either suck it up or find a teacher out of school!

Yes it would be two days with the other class but I could request her to go with her twins class. I don't think the school have checked with the music teacher. I have now asked directly whether they have actually asked the music teacher about swapping the lesson.
The extra practice is a good idea if she does miss the lesson

Don't make her go on the trip with another class. there will be things that happen slightly differently on both trips even if the focus of the trip is the same for both classes. The purpose of the trip should be the follow up work they do in class so missing out on the shared experience as her classmates is not a good idea.

She will not miss her debut at the Wigmore Hall because of one missed lesson.

The best sort of music lessons take place at home, IMVHO.

Ollycat that is the Schools suggestion that she goes in another class for 2 days. I understand that's what the others affected are doing.

OP I think you are making a very big fuss about it. Miss the lesson and go on trip with class. The peri teacher will be going to lots of different schools rescheduling will be hard.

You want your child to love music - this whole kerfuffle about 20 mins is a sure fire way to make her hate it! Seriously, this much faff and speaking to school, upsetting child etc etc is ludicrous!

How much are your lessons op? I just ask because it has never occurred to me to worry about them missing the odd lesson for a school trip. We pay £20 a term and they get weekly lessons.

Just to clear, school contacted me about her going on the trip with the other class. I then asked my dd about this and she said she didn't want to. So I checked whether the lesson could be rescheduled. I don't see that as making big fuss.

I would let your daughter go on the trip and not give the money for the lesson another thought.

My children have between them learned four instruments and it is an expensive business but very worthwhile for them as they are both very musical.

With hindsight I would not advise having music lessons during the school day. There are the lessons missed for trips and in our area there are only 10 lessons per term and they are less than half an hour. Even when all is going smoothly your child will be missing lesson time to go to them, which becomes more of an issue at secondary school.

We now have all four lessons out of school. It is working out cheaper as we are paying the teacher directly rather than going through an organisation, the lessons are longer, they are not missing academic lessons and they are progressing faster.

Bloody Nora,

Seriously you don't think your first post was not a big fuss?? Hey ho!

If there is another class planned to go on the trip on another day , is it possible to ask that the classes swap days for the trip? That way your dd can do both. It might well be of course that the trip days have been picked for a reason but equally,they may have been simply allocated. Worth asking.

Ask an entire class to swap for the sake on one missed music lesson?! No way! The teacher would think you were bonkers surely!

Bear in mind there will be other children doing music lessons on different days also going on the trip! And the peri teacher may well not have any other available time free - e.g. she always goes to this school on Wednesday mornings, but has commitments on other days. It is nigh on impossible for the school/teacher to schedule round everything!

As a PP says, it's not a good idea to go with a different class as the trip will be slightly different and she may miss out on something that her class later decide to focus on.

I won't be asking th school to swap th class trips. I don't think that's reasonable and I would still have the same issue as her sister is in the other class and also does the music lesson.