Is this school run too long? (N London / Herts) Opinions please!

[nightsky010]

I'm trying to find a new Prep school for DC age 7 (young 7) and I'd like advice on if these journeys would be too long or horrible or if they sound ok? OH thinks journey time is a rally big deal, I don't think it is so much.

Both in London / Herts area, schools finish at between 3:50 and 4:30, plus clubs on some days after that.

OPTION 1 (amazing school):
07:05 Leave house and walk to train station.
07:18 Catch train in opposite direction to the rush hour.
07:36 Train arrives, catch taxi from station taxi rank to school - a journey of 1.4 miles through a town centre. No idea how long this takes in rush hour.
Arrive at school before 08:00 sometime??

OPTION 2 (Less good school):
07:30 Leave house, walk 7 mins to tube station,
07:40 ish A 13 min tube journey in rush hour (3-4 stops)
07:55 ish A 10-15 min walk to school
8:10 Arrive at school

Thanks!

Could you get an au pair who can drive ?

Teacherwith2kids

Fascinating to hear about your DS! Did anyone ever explain the psychological 'mechanisms' behind the anxiety being expressed as social & speech difficulties, fine motor problems and in particular the obsessive interests? We certainly found with DS that reducing anxiety has led to him accepting changes is routine more, and we have few issues with the need for routine now (used to be terrible - as a 4 year old we would get meltdowns over being told to go and put a jumper on 'out of sequence'!).

Was DS's anxiety very obvious or was it hidden? My DS is anxious socially but seems ok otherwise, but I'm totally prepared to consider that the anxieties may be masked.

My DS sounds a bit similar to yours - could also add & subtract with negative numbers in reception and could do multiplication. We thought he was going to be very bright but by year 1 it became obvious that skill sets were very spikey and that applied maths and English / general comprehension were a problem, so actually he is very average overall and really nothing special despite good theory of number and having a single word reading age of 9 at 6 years old.

Regarding Senior schools, I'm very aware that he may always (despite my best efforts) have poor social skills and poor 'soft' skills and may well get very mediocre qualifications. Therefore the only way I can think of giving him an advantage is sending him to a school which will look good on his CV, providing of course he will be happy there and they can support him.....

Therefore if it turns out to be suitable I'd probably aim for places like Stowe, Haileybury, Bradfield, Eastbourne or any other minor Public boarding school in easy reach of London (all 55% at CE). If he needed more SEN than those places could offer then Shiplake as they are very well known for their great SEN (they have 40% SEN pupils, from memory) plus even lower entry requirements.

If he didn't want to board then the choices are far more limited. I'd probably go for Mill Hill or Aldenham?? Or if he needed more SEN than they could provide then I'd probably move to the catchment for an excellent State. Isn't Fortismere meant to be amazing and has a massive department specifically geared towards Autism?

(I assumed you're North London based therefore know if those schools? But maybe I'm wrong in that?)

Do you think that seems like a reasonable strategy?

M4blues

I will PM you and tell you the specific school. I'm hoping you'll have some good insider info!

Profgramatticus
Yes, I'll think about that too. I'd anticipated spending at least £60 per school week on it. Currently it's £40 a week.

Noteventhebestdrummer
I don't think I could stand having an au pair! If i could find someone to drive him who was CRB checked with childcare qualifications then that'd be ok. But that person would most likely be a nanny or teacher who was a SAHM with a baby who needed extra money. And I think the chances of finding that are zero! In theory I suppose I could post a job ad, but I've got to assume it won't happen really! Plus, the amount of money they'd want paying may be unaffordable anyway.

Actually a nanny with own small baby would be ideal surely for school runs. They get paid for just driving basically and chatting to them, baby sits in car, they get free time with own child in the day. You would be looking at probably equally cost though to train and taxi by the time you pay someone per hr wage and petrol, but at least it would be quicker than on train/ bus/ taxi

Artandco

Yes, it would be ideal. I do worry about what would happen if they wanted to give up the job though. Perhaps I will phone a nanny agency and enquire as to the chances of finding someone.

Can I just be nosy and ask which school & train line you're referring to? I live Herts border/NW London and I'm curious if it's the dreaded Thameslink (that I take to work every day) that you'll be relying on?

Nightsky, I hope you got my pm.

M4Blues

Yes, I replied to your PM yesterday, thanks.

M4Blues
Oh dear, the last message I received from you was on the 7th. Maybe try sending again if it's in your outbox?

Just a slightly different perspective here. We moved in the summer and applied to state schools (always been state). Had a problem getting into our local outstanding one, and was offered a place a short drive away in a 'requires improvement'. Wasn't really what I wanted at all, but in the end the DC settled in extremely well and it was actually a very good school 'off paper'. When we got offered a place at the local school, I was quite gutted actually. Now they've started at the outstanding and really, there is no benefit to them being there, other than it's really local (I do like walking to school).

So, my point being, sometimes a school may not seem 'as good', but actually it can be really great 'in real life' as opposed to visits, reports etc. Perhaps your Option 2 is actually quite good. What do you dislike about it?

My friend's private school experience was that she took her dd out of private and put her back into state. It was all girls and the girls were not v nice, neither were the parents! They gave it a go for 2 years, but her dd was not happy. She is now v happy again. This friend's older DC went to another private school, but her youngest is not bright enough to go there (mild SEN too), so they went for a different private school and regretted it.

Personally. my consideration would be: how will this journey impact my child, and myself, over the long term? If he's a bit tired (even a bit), how will he cope with school? If he's very tired by the last 2 weeks of term, you're basically reducing his effectiveness for 2 weeks per term. If you want him to be more 'rounded', how will he cope with extra clubs/ music lessons etc. on top of the journey? They get so much homework in private schools, I don't know when you'd do it, if he had an after school club and then you got in at 6pm. Personally would send him to Option 2 and possibly Option 3 when he is older. Is that feasible?

Merry Marigold

Gosh, you were very brave to take the place in a 'requires improvement' school. So why was the school graded as requires improvement?

I'm not surprised your friends DD hated the school she went to if the other Pupils were not kept in check. I'm sure it can get pretty bitchy at some girls schools!

The option 1 school has the school clubs immediately after lunch, so there would not be any additional after school clubs so adC would not be home especially late.

What do I dislike about the Option 2 school? Firstly, I read one of the school newsletters in which the Head was 'telling off' (that was exactly his tone) the Parents for repeated unreasonable behaviour (it was health and safety stuff and I do agree it was unreasonable). That made me wonder if the parents and the staff have little respect for each other because the parents are ignoring the rules and the Head is using that tone with parents. Secondly, I read that some of the parents / pupils had concerns about classroom behaviour, though the inspection reports did not back this up. Thirdly, there are not that many extra curriculars or sports (Sports twice a week and 1-2 clubs on 4 nights of the week, so not terrible but not great) so I worry that DS would become restless as he needs lots of exercise to burn off extra energy and would find the school day a little dull.

That's really hard as I think long-term they both sound awful. And I don't mean that to be unkind at all,.option 2 is not as bad but I can tell you really don't fancy that school. I think the option 1 journey will get you both down A LOT after a while and quality of life might suffer. You said you don't want to move near option 1 as the commute is bad, but you will have to commute from option 1 anyway after drop off won't you? Personally I would absolutely look much much more at state or move.

Bingandflop
Yeah, I think I've concluded that Option 1 is not do able on Public transport. I think we would have to get a nanny to drive until we could. Moving is hard for all sorts of reasons unfortunately.

I'm sorry that you are in such a predicament I would definitely get on to the LEA about which local state primaries have places and see what you make of them

Hi I have been thinking about your original question. If a school is totally right it might be worth a long commute for it. I wouldn't do a long commute for a school I was a bit meh about. However itsworth think about how reliable the commute is to school 1. How often will the train e late? How often will you over sleep? What happens if the weather is bad. What happens if DS is ill and you have just got home and they call you to pick him up again? Also does the school cull pupils in the lead up to 11+ one CE? Many children with ASD need their home time to relax and be themselves and many are emotionally immature so I wouldn't favour boarding yet. I say this as a parent of child at SN boarding and as someone who boarded and loved both . Back to the commute. If you find it stressful your child will also pick up on this . Does your DS like travel . My DS2 loves journeys and a long journey to school would have been a highlight of the day age 7 providing he could watch the doors! Or would he get anxious if the train was late. The wrong taxi came or the taxi took a different route. Only you know your DS with respect to these type of questions

Nightsky, not brave but caught between a rock and a hard place. 1.5hr (someone's 2hr) commute on what should have been a 20min journey. Traveling 6 hours plus a day was ridiculous. I really don't recommend it. The requires improvement school has 3 places for all of my kids. A bit amazing! I took it. I don't know why it requires improvement, but had a new Head so things have probably started changing. One of Ofsted requirements is for pupils to make a certain amount of progress but if they come in at a certain level they don't make as much progress as more deprived areas. Also ofsted don't place a huge amount of value on sports and music which this school really excelled in. And you can't assess how nice parents or kids are but it just seemed a lovely school. Not got so much of all those benefits anymore though academically the school is good. I'd give option 2 a chance if I were you.

Bingandflop & Mary21 & Merry Marigold

I'm investigating the option of a nanny driving him until we can both drive. And I'm having another viewing of Options 1&2 to see if maybe 2 would be OK.

Merry
Places for 3 kids sounds good! Glad it's working out for you.