My DD is setting herself up for such a big fall and I can only watch on ..

[Brioche201]

DD3 sat the 11+ recently for our 'normal' grammar school.She is convinced she has past despite running out of time and not tackling a good number of the questions.
But she thinks she has passed and has made and printed off a calendar on Word counting down the days til the results come.I know there is nothing I can do really but I feel like I am watching a car crash in slo-mo.

Oh no, can you have a gentle talk with her?

You could start chatting about XX and XX who are in [local secondary] and how much they are enjoying it.

Or sit down and have a chat with her to say it would be wonderful if she passes, and you have every confidence in her, but she needs to think about a plan if she doesn't.

maybe she has...if she did well on all the other ones....fingers crossed. I would do lots of reassurance like oh well it doesn't matter if you have or haven't, all the schools are good round here......easy to have an off day etc etc so she knows that you are not bothered whether she passes or not

It actually sounds to me like she believes she has failed and is desperately trying to persuade herself otherwise.

That doesn't mean she has failed, btw. Down here, in the depths of Kent, where grammars are not super-selective the pass mark can be as low as 50% on any given paper.

I agree with all the pp. Tell her it's great if she's passed - gives her a wider choice of schools. But if she hasn't she'll still be able to achieve in whatever school she goes to.

Visit other schools. Help her see the positives in other schools. Down play the grammar

Can you talk to her about it being also about how other people do, rather than she has failed, other people have done better?

I would also every time she says anything about it say that you don't care if she does or not because you know she did her best, or some such thing.

We have been to look round a few other schools and I have tried to big them up.
We are going to buy her first smart phone on the day of the results, so that will be something for her to look forward to regardless.
HT has also told me the tests are designed to achieve a good spread of results to separate the candidates and nobody is expected to be able to get them all right in the time allowed.

How did she get on Brioche?

UPDATE
well her confidence was not misplaced.She passed by a good margin
Phew I am so glad that is the last child an we don't have to go through that ever again!

Congratulations!

. And for little Brioche.

Ah congratulations you must be made up.

Ha! Fab news. Clever girl, not just for passing but for knowing her own abilities and being so confident.

That's lovely news!

Thank you for your kind messages.It is just an area grammar school so not all that hard to get in, but still we are very pleased and proud.

Now Brioche give your head wobble and stop downplaying her achievements. The most successful and happiest people I know had parents who blindly thought they were the best thing ever.

Stop spamming all education threads, findingschools, pay for your ads like a reputable company would.