School says child with ADD can't learn instrument!!

[Burntthedinneragain]

I am unspeakably cross!

My DC is 6 years old and has mild ADD but loves school and is well behaved and compliant. DC is perfectly capable of learning - can do the usuals such as reading (reading age of about 8.10), can do number bonds and quite a few times tables etc.

After 1/2 term of lessons the music teacher emailed to say that she no longer wishes to teach DC because despite trying very hard DC's "concentration is not at a level which helps maintain learning and therefore is not progressing as we would expect. This can obviously be discouraging for any child when learning something new."

This makes no sense to me whatsoever! Why should my DC not be permitted to learn an instrument because of a learning difficulty!? I am trying to be reasonable - I understand that progress may not be as quick as with some other children, but I am not asking for a Liszt recital within a term, I just want an enjoyable experience and a token bit of progress.

Many 3 & 4 year olds learn an instrument without a problem and DC has much better concentration than a 3/4 year old, so why should she be unwilling to teach DC? I feel that if DC is not progressing as she expects (or as fast as other children?) then teacher needs to adjust her expectations! And as for DC being discouraged, Surely any child can feel happy and proud of their progress if the lessons are set an appropriate level and praise and encouragement are given. Shouldn't I expect that attitude from the music teacher?

Surely this is a case of the teacher failing to teach rather than the child failing to learn? AIBU or is that attitude unacceptable?

(Would also like to point out that I am not one of THOSE precious parents who cannot admit their DC is crap at some things. and I do not want to sound as though I'm trying to say this is the greatest injustice the world has ever seen either!)

Advice / opinions welcome!

Something that DH mentioned to me was that he occasionally has to adapt his teaching as some pupils are still pronouncing the alphabet with phonics rather than the letter names, so he has do do that with the names of the musical notes as well, otherwise they haven't a clue what he is on about.

He teaches privately, has never had any formal training regarding the teaching of pupils with ADD/ASD but takes things extremely slowly, breaks the lesson down to the smallest possible thing to learn, doesn't expect them to progress in any way similar to other children, and is happy for them to come for lessons for year after year if they want to (even though he may be quivering with internal frustration at having to show them the same thing for 100th time!).

If he got rid of all the pupils who struggle or don't practice enough, or the ones he'd prefer not to teach, then those children (and some beginner adults) wouldn't be able to participate in activity they enjoy, and he would lose a large chunk of his income.

It's not discrimination to say that a child isn't ready for that yet.

I agree. My analogy would be summer-borns where it's perfectly clear that some just-turned four year-olds aren't up to school-stuff. Yet.

The teacher hasn't said the DC isn't ready yet, but not progressing as we would expect which is entirely different. As I said before, maybe the teacher's expectations are too high and needs to have it explained to her that the child has mild learning difficulties. Once she is aware of the situation it might change her views on the level of progress to expect and allow the DC to continue.

OP, many years ago - when I was still a teenager - I used to teach swimming. I had one boy who wasn't making any progress. I told him, every week, that he needed to kick both legs. Eventually his mother had a word with me - she'd told my boss that the boy had had a stroke so was partially paralysed down one side. This information hadn't been passed on to me. Fortunately his mother was lovely, and realised that I genuinely didn't have a clue - and I actually got the boy to swim his first 5 metres once I had the information.

Speak to the teacher, and find out if she has been given the appropriate information about your dc. If she turns out to be the kind of music teacher who only wants to teach the 'right kind' of children, then get angry.

will someone please listen to CrotchetQuaverMinim???

I give music lessons at a school and am shocked at some of your attitudes towards the teacher.

I hope this isn't a case of "we pay you so you had jolly well do what we say". Please respect the music teacher's experience, training, and judgement.

TALK TO THE TEACHER BEFORE YOU ACCUSE THEM OF BEING UNPROFESSIONAL.

OP here (name change issues)

@ 1805
We can listen to Crotchet without agreeing :-)
Not at all a case of I'm paying so do what I say, just utterly bemused by her unwillingness / inability to teach him when all the other teachers have no issues whatsoever.

Nee
I'm planning on mentioning it to the teacher, thanks :-)

Dodo bookends
Your DH sounds very understanding and patient, how nice :-)

Crotchetquaverminim
I mentioned it partly to illustrate how it could be done. I see what you're saying regarding different specialisms, but I honestly think that anyone half capable would be able to make a small number of adjustments to their style of teaching. I have taught sports to kids, and you do naturally adjust your teaching style for different age groups. It's not that hard to do in small ways, as Dodobookends mentioned..... If the school says that if offers instrumental lessons to children in Pre-Prep then it should do so (though not necessarily with that teacher).

OddlyLogical
Very good point about still being bound by equality laws & complaining that a child with ADD can't concentrate....

I wasn't going to pursue the disability thing with her as I worry about sounding like an arse, but I will certainly go and read about it!

OP, please do pursue the "disability thing" but only in so far as to check that she knows of your DC's diagnosis and what has been put in place to support him by the school.

It is worth remembering that these 15 minutes a day are completely different from the rest of his school day, every other teacher has had presumably had at least one year of him learning the class routine and knowing what is expected. This poor music teacher (who won't be trained in teaching his age group, you said she teaches GCSE/A Level so any teacher training will be for that age group), has only met your son recently and has literally 15 minutes to get him sat down, settled, used to her, used to the piano, do the lesson and then get him packed up and sent off again. That would be difficult with ANY 6 year old, leave alone one with concentration issues to begin with.

Talk to the teacher, explain what's happened and please do not go in all guns blazing having a go about ADD and equality laws.

Seryph

I doubt she knows of his diagnosis.

Im going to email her and I'll report back once I've heard from her.

Thanks!

If a teacher is going to reject a six year old they should have the balls to talk to the parents directly rather than sending a cowardly email. It bloody hurts when your child is deemed not good enough. A compassionate teacher would suggest other options for a child who is not coping with individual piano lessons. In my area there is a Saturday morning music group that takes six year olds. They do lots of singing and percussion.

Is there any possibility of you getting to sit in on a lesson? You could see what your child's behaviour is like. My daughter's violin teacher insists that an adult accompanies her to her lesson. I am expected to help her focus on practice. My daughter is six and learning violin by the Suzuki method.

Ultimately you cannot force a teacher to teach your child. It might seem unfair, but both people need to be able to get on in a one to one situation.

Really tired

She didn't send a cowardly email, she got her secretary to do it!

I'll talk to her and see what she thinks about me sitting in on a lesson & get back to you.