School transported children in a pupil's grandmother's car without my permission

[muppetsmum]

My 8 year old daughter had an away match today which I was planning on going to watch, and I got a phone message from school asking me if I was going, and if so would I mind taking my daughter and one or two others as they were short of seats on the minibus. I couldn't go in the end and left a message in reply to this effect. When my daughter came home, she told me that they had indeed been short of room on the bus and had asked some girls to go with parents/family who were going to the match. She volunteered, and, with two others, had made the 45 minute journey driven by one of the girls' grandmothers!!! We know the family, I happen to have met the lady in question and have no personal problem with them, but surely the school isn't allowed to just send kids off with 'unknown' family members, whose personal/medical history/driving ability/car safety are presumably not known to them? I'm normally very laid back about stuff, but surely somebody should have rung me to check I was OK with this? Not knowing anything about this granny's health, I would certainly not have been happy to have a 70+ year old driving 3 giggly, excited girls a significant distance. Am I going mad or is this totally unacceptable?

see,it's thing slike this that stop people doing favours for others... :(

Next the school will have to have a blanket ban on children travelling in non-school cars

I bet OP would be in here moaning had the school just dropped her DD from the match! As far as I can see they did the sensible thing and got her a lift, after OP refused.

Viking, OP did not volunteer to drive others.

You can see why not many schools do after school matches- not worth the aggro!

Blimey! Seems like a huge fuss. You DD is fine. You knew the lady who had kindly stepped in where you were unable to attend. FFS. Really?

But OP was asked to volunteer to take others, Yonic.

She was asked in a message. There's no indication she would have agreed.

The whole argument in a nutshell Rose.

It would have been highly selfish to have taken her own DD and left her friends , Yonic - not to mention very unhelpful.

Yes, she was asked to take her dd and 'one or two others'

It sounds like whatever "normal" arrangement to school had felt through (maybe a second minibus broke down or whatever) and OP's DD mentioned her mum was hoping to get away from work to go to the match and a message was left with OP to see if she could take others as well as her DD. It doesn't sound like OP had agreed to this either in advance or on the day.

I think she's being a bit ageist but not hypocritical as others have concluded.

My school use parent transport constantly. It's fine as long as insured correctly. Lots of parents are CRB checked for reading in school anyway or as part of their normal day job. Also the children are always in groups and parents know each other

Mehitabel, if OP isn't DBS checked and the parents of the friends haven't given permission, then "selfishness" is nothing to do with it.

Maybe the school should write this letter to all parents, Grandparents, carers, owners of cars related in any way to the school:

Dear Potential Lift Givers,

Thanks so much for offering to give a lift, but before you can do this, please could submit the following to School.

Full, clean driving license
MOT
Proof of insurance - and details of your No Claims History
Your complete Medical History
DBS Certificate (to ascertain your suitability to be in the presence of a child)
Evidence of booster seats (we willnotp purchase these for you)
Birth Certificate (as we need to make sure no-one is "too old")

Experience needed:
Proof that you've driven in a car with more than one child.

Evidence of Behaviour Management In Children, as youmay have "giggly girls" in your vehicle.

On the actual day of the lift you will need to prove:
That were not in the pub prior to the lift.

Your suitability to drive will be assessed and once we've sent out the permission forms for each trip and have them returned you can then give the lift.

Kind Regards
The School

You don't need a DBS check if your contact is under a certain amount of hours.

Is that true, binary? Our school doesn't let even occasional helpers on trips without DBS checks and they are far more "under the eye of" teachers than they would be in a private car.

I'm of an age where I could both be a mother at primary school and a grandparent (tho not of a primary school aged DC) - would the fact that eldest DD had a baby have removed all my driving abilities?

If she isn't DSB checked Yonic then she should be grateful that her DD was given a lift by someone who was.

Of course it has, Myvisions - you now should stay at home and knit, give up driving and be incapable of managing 3 giggly girls.
Any 'normal' activity should be followed by 3 exclamation marks!!!

fantastic news Mehitabel - I can give up work and get to have a drink every time we go out, rather than having to share the driving . Plus delegate all DC related activity to DH although maybe I'm allowed to manage the two DDs still at home? Are two giggly girls easier than three?

Eh? There's no indication whether the grandmother was DBS checked, OP thinks not.

Unfortunately Mysisions there are other rules to go with it- e.g you must never shop at lunchtime and get in the way of the workers because you have 'nothing to do'!

So one moment you are saying children can't go with OP because they are not DSB checked but the school would let them go with someone who wasn't? OP mentions medical history/driving ability - at no point does she mention DSB checks.

Of course the easiest thing to do is never, ever let children go anywhere unless they are with their parents.

I am saying what my school does, Mehitabel.

Got work to do and CBA any more, au revoir.