Intimate care for reception age?

[onionlove]

Hiya everyone, quick question, my son did a messy poo at school and his TA rang me at work to clean him as she said she wasn't allowed to, does that sound right? I cant find a policy on their website, I work 1/2 hour away so my lovely neighbour went to him for me, I want to speak to school about it as I'm not happy but not sure what approach to take?

I used to work with nursery aged children over 20 years ago, including some with SN. All of the children were toilet trained at 3 years old. I have no memory of even wiping bums. We did have spare clothes for accidents, but toilet accidents were rare.
I also worked in a children's home. I helped look after two kids, aged 4 and 5. It was seen as part of their neglect that they were still in nappies and I had to help toilet train them.

I don't care what age children are toilet trained at, but they are toilet trained at an older age these days.

My own dm produced a potty at her house when my dd was only a few months old to 'get her used to it' I was outraged!!

I'm intrigued by this thread.

Do some people really not see any connection between the idea that 'x years ago children were not allowed to attend preschool/school if they weren't toilet-trained' and 'there weren't any children in nappies at school/preschool x years ago'?

ZZZZ Yes I know. I worked in a separate place with children with severe disabilities such as paraplegic children with chronic health difficulties. Many of those children were not toilet trained, and many were physically incapable of ever being continent.
The children with SN in the nursery included a child who couldn't talk at all at 4 years old due to a developmental disorder, and used macaton.

Have you ever tried changing a five year olds nappy? It certainly isn't the easy option. I have always asked parents to put children in pants with plenty of spare clothing for accidents.

Average age for girls to toilet train is 2.3

I checked our policy today. We request kids are potty trained before they start nursery. Plenty of parents don't tell the absolute truth, so of course accidents happen, as they would anyway. This is for nursery age kids. The teachers then work with the parents to get the child trained, of course they clean up accidents on the way.

Eventually the child will be trained, usually at some point during the nursery year.

If there was a persistent problem, it would be dealt with by the school in coordination with the parents. For really severe issues that couldn't be easily dealt with in school, the parents would eventually be gently told that the school was not the right fit for their child..

Drummed out of school for soiling themselves in infants, poor kids. Sparing I imagine I would remove my child from your school fairly early on anyway - we'd hardly put up with DD being kept down in nursery until she was 8, would we?

Every thread like this makes me happier we chose state school, though I hope there are private schools out there that similarly see the child, not the problem.

OP I'm glad you had a productive chat and should avoid this happening again. Hopefully it's just a one off anyway.

this isn't all about toilet training. There are bowel conditions unrelated to toilet training that affect continence. The accidents can happen daily or much less frequently. When they do happen, they tend to occur one after the other then a gap.

I have never heard of an independent school that gently suggests to parents that children with completely treatable and usually transient medical problems should go elsewhere. Still, mn broadens my horizons every day.

Can I just say that I think the OPs neighbour/friend sounds wonderful. She deserves a medal for dropping everything and rushing to school to clean a small, probably sad child.

Although I am slightly concerned that the school thought it was more suitable for the neighbour to clean up than a member of staff, surely that is all sorts of risky?

I have an older child (upper primary) in my class who sometimes has poo accidents and I am categorically not allowed to clean her up. As a pp said, this would involve being alone in the bathroom with her for her privacy from other children which wouldn't be appropriate. I give her wet wipes and spare clothes and a bag for dirty ones, and she has a signal that she gives me if she needs them so it is as discreet as possible. But if she can't manage to clean herself then yes, her mum is phoned to help. I do think it is a bit different in reception as the children are less likely to be able to manage alone, but as far as I am aware, unless parents have specifically agreed to an intimate care plan, as with children with SEN, then the policy is same throughout the school (although not in nursery).

Schools should have a continence policy setting out how they will handle toileting accidents. There is no need for an intimate care plan for occasional accidents and the child's right to refuse assistance must be respected.
The government guidance says there is no need for two members of staff to be present but most staff would be unhappy to clean a child without a witness nearby.

I have 18 and 19 yr old DC who were fully trained by 2, because back in the '90s, the biggest Pamper nappy wasn't that big! I think there were three sizes, covering newborn till 2. I was astonished when I was in the nappy aisle with my sister to see the RANGE of sizes available.

I'm sure that's why DC were all trained earlier years ago - absolutely nothing to do with our superior parenting skills

A parent recently told us she wasnt going to bother toilet training her child as she could get nappies on prescription from the doctor once they were 5!

I think it was the expense of the nappies and the expectation. yd was using potty at 18 months as she watched ed.

Mrs Cakes my neighbour is fab as I am a lone parent she helps me a lot and has babysat the children lots of times, they love her, we got her flowers too, I'm lucky she's there

Spaniel, that makes no sense....surely it costs more to wear nappies until they can, supposedly, get free ones at 5, than toilet training and wearing pants?

You would think so wouldnt you! Eventually it got tothe point where he came to school in nappies but asked to change into pants as soon as he arrived, he was clean and dry in school but not at home

Spaniel that's just awful

Oh and there was the poor boy who used to stand by the outside door and cry. it took us a while to realise he wanted the toilet, he was used to going outside ( literally) and had no idea what a toilet was!