How much actual work are kids doing in reception and what would they miss if they missed it

[Italiangreyhound]

My son is only just 4 and I am not sure how much reception year he will do. The woman who will teach him has put the wind up me by implying he will not be able to catch up. He is only just 4. I am incredibly depressed at the idea that at 4 he could fall behind.

Please could I ask any parents and especially teachers or TA, just how much actual work are kids doing in reception and what would they miss if they missed it all or most of it.

I feel terrible but he is very young and there are lots of reasons for him not to rush right into school just yet so I think I am doing the right thing for him but have been made to feel like a selfish cow for holding him back!

Many thanks for any helpful posts.

They learn a lot about school, learning, communication and cooperation. Then there is phonics, emergent writing and number work. Plus fine and gross motor skill development, eating together, playing together, learning to follow routines and learning to be part of a community. Reception is a huge deal and the money they are there, the more settled they will be and prepared for Year 1.

I would love to be able to say that they can catch up and in the long term they will, but in the short term they will struggle and it may take years to catch up. I taught a child who missed Reception entirely and she was still at least a year behind her peers by the end of Year 1.

Make of this what you will but it isn't just playing all day.

Sorry, exaggeration, she did not say he will not be able to catch up.... she said something like it will be hard to catch up, implying he may not be able to catch up.

You say that you are unsure how much of the reception year he will do - why is that? Is it because you think he is too young for school? Or does he have medical reasons why he can't be there? I'm just trying to understand what you mean. My dd was also only just 4 when she started Reception (she is 8 now) and she has medical issues that meant that she tired three times more easily than your average 4 year old. I was terrified about her coping with school but was encouraged by the teacher to try and play it by ear. And boy, am I glad I stuck with it (not opting for half days as I thought might be preferable). Basically, yes they do do a lot of playing in Reception but they also do phonics every day - this, of course, you could teach him at home if you know how to teach the way they do at school. However, what they also learn (which they cannot learn at school) is social skills. All those children in that class will have had a year longer than your child (if you choose to hold back until Year 1) and will have bonded with each other, will know where everything is in school and generally be a 'year ahead' in confidence etc than your child. If your child is a very confident child, this may not be a problem of course...but I know, for my shy children, that would have been a big problem a year later. Only my opinion of course...I do sympathise with you...it is so difficult to let go of your precious 4 year old. Good luck with your decision

"the more they are there" not money

Reception for my DD (october born just in case it could be relevant) was more of an adjustment to the social 'etiquette' of school. For example, doing what they are asked by a teacher when they are asked to do it, understanding how school routines work, working in groups with peers and lots of play! Her class did basic phonics and some maths. Not much different to nursery I suppose.
However, you know your DS best and what will be best for him. If you don't think he will cope, its my understanding you can defer. I'm sure the posters who know the ins and outs of this will come along.

Sorry I also meant to add that I was a school governor for a while and I observed a Reception teacher in the Summer term doing phonics with a 'catch-up' group...there was a child in there whose parents had held him back from starting school and so he was hugely behind his peers in phonics. I must say it is a huge headache for the teachers.

The eldest two madthings didn't do reception. Ds1 started school age 9 in yr5 and ds2 started age 6 in yr2. They both got on fine.

I guess it will depend why he isn't going to school and what he will be doing at home/Instead of school.

Ds3 was part time for most of reception and quite a bit of yr one. (health reasons in yr one) he got on fine. No issues with friendships etc. Needed a bit if support a academically for a while.

Hi Italian

In my opinion there are 3 key things for reception

• socialisation (which will only work if your son is ready for it, and in your case it would not surprise me if you said he wasn't for another 6 months)
• phonics and early reading and writing (which some children "don't get" until the end of reception anyway)
• initial maths

(I have listened to reception readers and seen what goes on in class).

You can do phonics stuff at home in a quiet bonding 1-1 way, and increase as he is ready for it. I bought RWInc flash phonics cards (our school uses RWI) and used these at home both pre-reception but then well in to y1). You can get 'workbooks' for writing, and/or do dot-to-dots etc.

You can do counting skills at home too. Our reception introduces Number lines up to 10 and does simple adding and taking away, moving on to counting in 2s, 5s and 10s later in the year, and simple division/sharing.

If he is ready for it you can choose to do reception learning at home, in a fun way, in bitesize pieces as and when you feel it is appropriate.
If he is not ready for it, then he probably won't learn it at school anyway.

You are very well informed regarding issues surrounding your son. Do not let other less-informed people tell you that you are a selfish cow just because you don't think he's ready for school yet.

Italian how much would he do?

I agree with odyssey. My experience is that reception is an amazing introduction to the whole world if school. The children who have done school nursery get a flying start too. Friendships form strongly and kids find others like them. They do phonics and maths everyday and most head into year 1 able to read ...

You don't make it clear in your op why you don't think he will be able to do all of the year.

But I think if you know there is an issue the key is to work with the staff. We know DS will have much more time off than is desirable so I am working with school to ensure that the impact of that time off is minimised as much as possible. I think if there are issues then a good working relationship between school and home becomes even more important

Thanks so much for your help.

13lucky - You said Is it because you think he is too young for school?

Yes and no. If he were my birth child I am not sure I would have been so concerned, until I had looked at the data for summer borns that is. But assuming I had not thought too much about it I probably would have sent him along when he could legally go to school rather than when he legally had to go to school.

However, DS is adopted and has only been with us for less than five months. He has no health issues and I do not think school will be a problem for him in time. I think he is quite bright but socially and emotionally maybe a bit young and chronologically very young for a working day at school. He is not too bad good socially, getting better, but I feel he needs some time getting used to other children, he seems better with adults. He does some time at preschool and he does some things with me socially that helps him with socialisation.

My main concerns were attachment to me, learning to cope gradually with changes etc.

13lucky I wonder if you may have hit the nail on the head when you say "...it is a huge headache for the teachers." Whether that is what drives school to want all the pupils to start at the same time for the teacher which is the same time for the kids but is, in reality, very different times for the children chronologically.

I guess I wanted to get an idea of what they learn in that time so I can know. My dd has dyslexia and she really struggled to read. She was in school as soon as she was able to go. Being in school did not make her able to read and I am nervous about the idea he will automatically get all the benefits from being there. There is a trade off between time with me and time with school. It is not really hard to let him go, it really is not me wanting to be with him all day. I am trying to work out what will be best for him. He is learning to trust me, he won't do that while in a class with 29 other kids ad only 2 or 3 adults, that is what scares me. But he does go to preschool, which is more flexible and allows him to go for less time per week.

5madthings thank you, would you be willing to say how your children's different experiences, shamed or helped them or didn't help them, please? you could PM me if you preferred to writing her, please? No worries if not.

Thank you, odyssey and EatDessertFirst and one and all.

Thank you so much TeenAndTween that is such a great answer (for me).

In fairness to the teacher she did not tell me I was a selfish cow, of course, as you know! And she is a nice lady, hence my needing to speak to her about something else! She just brought out all my insecurities and made me feel very confused, that these few months would be a game changer!

MrsMinton Short answer is - He can do as much or as little as I (and dh) wish in the sense they will not be too strict about timings but in reality they really want him there 5 mornings a week or 5 full days.

Longer answer (sorry!) I am aware once they start school there is pressure on them (perhaps only internally or perhaps from peers etc) to stay all day. So although a parent says you can come home at lunch they see the other kids eating school lunch or packed lunch and they know the afternoon is fun stuff so they may well want to stay. The fact they want to stay is seen as proof it is right for them to stay (IMHO).

Even though it may be too much for them! It may make them grumpy and crotchety and unhappy at home. Hence (in my humble opinion) valuable home time can be sacrificed for valuable school time. When you are 12 or 15 or 18 school time maybe more necessary but when you are 4 it is a no-brainer to me which more vital, time at home. Especially for a little one who has only known us for 5 months.

I'm not a teacher or TA I'm afraid, but I have 1 DC in Reception, 1 DC in year 1, and a DstepC who was flexi schooled. My thoughts are:

• have you considered flexi schooling? Most primary schools offer mornings only for the first term anyway and at ours the bulk of the formal learning is in the mornings, so he might be able to get the best of both worlds?

• you might need to be prepared to teach reading and maths at home. Most children leave Reception at our school able to read simple books and do (admittedly very basic) maths. Not to mention general independence around dressing for PE, looking after their own books/coats/hats etc.

• if you do decide to teach reading, check which phonics scheme the school uses and follow that one. There are lots, and it's a whole new language!

Good luck whatever you decide.

Doodledot although your opinion of reception is very valid that was not my experience with my dd. Also, friendships change a lot and not being very good at making friendships in small groups like at a smaller preschool or activity I wonder how many kids do when faced with 29 others. can I ask if you are a teacher and have seen this for a number of kids or are a parent and have seen it for your own children? Thank you.

X-post on the mornings only bit! My DstepC did 3 full days/week instead, although most schools won't go for that.

Have you asked about him going for just mornings for a term of similar? Or only doing 3 afternoons? Most schools do the phonics / numeracy learning in the morning and play based learning in the afternoons? I would set up a meeting with HT to discuss. I have a friend who had a very similar situation. Her DS started full time at the start and has caught up developmentally with a bit of extra support ( he was behind in speech and all milestones initially ).

Sirzy thank you. I have tried to have a good relationship with school. In fact I would say I was a staunch supporter of the school. In the past I really was very much a fan of the school and various teachers were given lots of encouragement by me, even though increasingly I feel let down (regarding my dyslexic dd) by the school (to some extent).

I didn't give much details as I wanted to try and get an objective, 'what do they learn in reception' answer.

However, as it became clear I could not really ask without explaining why I wanted to know, I have tried to give more detail. If this doesn't answer your question I am happy to say more but really my desire is to know an objective view of reception rather than to worry too much about the details of my particular situation. I know people who are holding their kids back or home schooling (whose children are not adopted) so I do not think my situation is totally unique.

In my opinion it is the summer born children that need reception the most. otherwise they start y1 still the youngest in the year and without the benefit of the nice, gentle start to school that reception gives them.

I suppose, thinking ahead, it will make starting year one even harder on him.

I totally understand why you are concerned though, he is so new to your family and you just want to protect him.

I am a parent Italian with two in a very big school and several friends with adopted DC of different ages and adoption length. I have travelled the journey with parents of nervous summer borns, parents of children that went to school with no nursery exposure, parents of premature babies who end up a year ahead for their birthdate and seen how these children cope - so yes a personal perspective. In our case friendship groups formed in school nursery then reception remain firmly in tact, even if they ebb and flow during the year.

They do a lot of phonics and learning about school and how to behave in the new environment. They also make lots of friends.

Ds1 started reception only being able to recognise letters and by the end of the year was on level 5 reading books.

Keeping your son out for most or all of reception would put him massively behind unless your were doing home ed. even then he'd miss out on learning how to behave at school as its different to being at home and more routine wrt play time/lunch time etc.

SORRY He is not too bad good socially, getting better sorry - not bad I meant.

5madthings SORRY - IO meant SHAPED not shamed AND to writing here not her!

MonoNoAware can you say more about flexischool?

Doodledot thanks.

One other thing is that there is a tiny chance he could start school next year, if school agrees so I need to explore that first. waiting for an appointment re this. If he will do this I really do not want him to start yet, get to know the current reception year and then go 'down' to reception the following year. I want him to go to preschool and then go up when ready BUT school cannot confirm yet if they will agree to this. Legally, he could do this but the school are not keen. I cannot see why.

Thanks doodledot very good to know where people are coming from.

Crazykat thanks.

Must do washing up now, will check back later.

Thank you.