Lots of children upset by teacher... WWYD (if anything)?

[LucasNorthsTwiglets]

DS is in Y2 and once a week they have a different teacher who is upsetting a lot of the children. It's not just being strict, she does sound rather unkind from what I've heard. As an example, apparently the children get put on a warning if they cry! My DS loves school and is pretty robust but even he hates the days that this teacher is in. Some of the other children are starting to have real problems with her, more than just I don't like this teacher. I know of at least 8 or 9 children who are struggling... do I mention it to anyone at school?

If your DS is having problems you need to go and talk to either the teacher, or the normal class teacher. Try to give specific examples.

Broadly speaking, it is not your job to say other children are having problems.

I'd suggest speaking to the school if you are worried about your own child and let the parents of the other children worry about their own.

In my experience any parent that raises and issue and mentions "all" or "most" parents feel the same tend to lose credability except on the rare occasion it is actually true!
Most parents are usually happy and even when they get a bit ticked off over something tend to see if it blows over (usually does) before going in to talk someone.

Don't be caught out being the first over the top!

The headteacher will be aware if many parents are making complaints about a particular teacher and will/should be addressing the issue.

I'm sure you know that often parents bitch at the school gate but then go home and don't think anymore about it.

I'd have a a word with the normal teacher about how your child is finding having the other teacher unsettling or words to that effect. I would avoid mentioning anyone else's child as it's not your place to speak for other parents and avoid placing blame on the other teacher if you want to be taken seriously.

If you phrase it as he is really unsettled and how can we all help him through this, it puts the emphasis on the teacher to think about it and hopefully let's them know that the other teacher needs to work on their relationship with the class (if there is indeed a problem). Has this class had a variety of teacher's over a week before - could it just be they're not used to having a different person regularly?

My children have always disliked the one-day-a-week teacher, and have generally complained she is too strict. This has happened every time they have had a one-day teacher. I think the one-day teacher probably has to be stricter because she doesn't know the kids as well - most supplies are pretty strict.

It may be that this particular teacher is really horrid, of course - just pointing out that it is hard to do one day. Twice the one-dayer has become my dc's full-time teacher the following year and the experience has been totally different.

They do have different teachers quite often (it was recently a job share) and there's never been a problem. I take everyone's point about it being up to the other parents to talk to someone - I just felt that if I didn't mention that it wasn't just my DS then it would just look like my DS was fussing over nothing and they'd just put it down to a personality clash, or him being over-sensitive or something like that. He is mainly bothered about the other children - he can cope with the teacher but he gets very upset when his friends are upset by her and he feels a real sense of injustice.

I can see this from three directions.

1. it's just the way the teacher is. She is strict and upsets the children. Maybe she finds the job very stressful, maybe she has a lot on her plate, maybe she doesn't enjoy teaching, maybe she doesn't gel with the class, maybe she is just that style of teacher. Either way, no amount of talking to the class teacher, the cover teacher or the management will change her. All your son can do is survive it, as long as the school is happy with her on the whole.

2. the teacher and children haven't had time to form a decent relationship. Bear in mind, she's only done 5 days with them. As a cover, you have to try and follow someone else's behaviour methods and fit in with the class teacher's expectations. That is quite challenging as every teacher has their own way of doing things. I remember giving out table points and not understanding why the children were so glum. Turned out, they were normally given out in groups of 10 so the children thought I was being strict and mean.

3. the children aren't as well behaved as they are for the class teacher, so the cover has to give them a shorter leash. One of my classes were awful for this; they were quite a tough bunch but, generally, they were fine with me. They were absolutely horrible for anyone who covered me, and I'd often get pulled out of PPA to go and sort them out.

I would suggest giving it a bit more time before you go and talk to anyone. Like I said, it's only 5 days in. She may just be setting her expectations too high so the children respect her authority.

All fair points juniper but I'm not convinced that any of these things would have several children crying every morning this teacher is in...

I think you could say something about your DS being upset citing specific examples but you can't really speak for other children. You will just have to trust that their parents will do the same and then it can't be put down to a personality clash or the like.

Unfortunately, sometimes a bit of gossiping and all agreeing to actually complain, rather than just moan to each other is necessary.

I have a DD who was always the bullies first choice. It was far too easy for teachers to say "keep out the way, and if you stopped fussing they'd leave you alone"

When other mum's of nice quiet, unfussy DDs said "excuse me, he kicks our DCs too" school had to act.

Sadly sometimes it doesn't work very well, the HT claimed to have had words with the thoughtless TA, she remained thoughtless, despite the parents reps having multiple complaints.

I had a similar situation last year where my Ds was finding school difficult because he was afraid of the teacher, and also because it was an unhappy place with so many other children regularly having nightmares / crying in playground or classroom due to teacher.

I waited and put things off a long time before I complained. My point, when I did complain, was that it was a very unpleasant, stressful environment for my child to be in, irrespective of how infrequently he was personally being shouted at. So, I kept my complaint to sticking to talking about my child, but referenced what the other children were experiencing via the impact it was having on DS.

The head would not give any ground to me. The call ended with me feeling that my complaint had merely been noted but not found meritorious. However, things markedly improved the following day and never got so bad again (although i wouldn't say it was actually good after that!)

Mine wasn't the first complaint - there had been many, many others including at least two to the governors. However, I think mine was the first that wasn't about a specific incident in which the complainant's child had been the victim.