is my DS bright or normal? Not a stealth boast

[doineedhelp]

So, i have 1 child, DS 3.5 years old. Everyone is always telling me how bright he is and that i need to make sure he goes to a good school or else he will get bored and fall behind etc, but as he is my 1 and only i have no idea if he is bright or a normal 3.5 year old.

He is obssesed with numbers and could count to 10 by 19months, he can currently count to over 100. Likewise he knows all of his alphabet, colours, shapes, can spell quite a few words on his own, is beginning to write letters and numbers and can do simple subtraction and addition using fingers etc.

So, is this normal or is he gifted as people keep telling me. I'm worried that if he is very bright then boredom at school will lead to bad behaviour eventually - why is there always something to worry about?

Any advice welcomed,

It probably depends how much he's picked up on his own, and how much he's been specifically taught. The children where everyone else catches up by the end of Y1, are those who knew everything because their parents specifically pushed it and taught them daily. Those who stay far ahead, are those who naturally pick up knowledge and problem solve, without that pushing. If he's one of the latter type of child, he will easily become bored at school because there will be no problems to solve if they're not differentiating enough for him.

he does sound like he is doing very well. But inevitable contextualisation. My DD is 5.5, doing fine, nothing spectacular, but her cousin (now just 6) was like your son, and she is now a very fluent reader and excellent in other areas too. She knows a lot, retains information well, has a good memory. But I have noticed recently that my DD who is less good at reading, writing etc (which are skills rather than indicators of intelligence in their own right) is now able to give her coz a run for her money on things involving reasoning, problem solving etc. Cousin is a very good learner, whereas DD is a bit sideways which things - also rather shy, so it's not always obvious what she knows. Rambling, sorry - the point is, yes, he is clearly very able, but that it's very difficult to see that as determining his future at this age. Whichever poster made the point about open-ended thinking was spot on, imho

He sounds bright but not GCSEs at age 9 bright, IYSWIM - you need to find him a school that is really good at differentiation. Both my DDs were like this and their primary has been fab - they are now 11 and 13 and operating 3 years plus ahead of average - so not Mozart or Einstein but pretty damn bright. DD1's secondary also really supports the very able, she had a go at GCSE maths in Yr7 and got a B so school definitely doing their job. If you can get that for your DS, he will do fine.

TheGoop - I'm feeling the same. My son has just turned 4 and starts school this year. He can just about count to 20 and knows most letter sounds. I know he could do more if he wanted to but he's not hugely interested and trying to force him backfires. He will however happily sit flicking through a children's encyclopedia pointing out different things like Egyptians, ancient Greeks and Romans. He'll ask intelligent questions about history and make links that haven't always occurred to me.

I know it's probably just because it's so tangible but I do find measuring 'brightness' by numbers/letters etc gives a limited view. That said, OP - I agree that the things you've mentioned do sound exceptional.

I think he sounds like he's picking things up very easily and has a lot of support at home. I'm not convinced about this getting bored business, school is such a busy and challenging place when you are 4, even if you can read longer words than the child next to you. YRs come home and tell you what happened in the playground, not that they spelled "their" correctly and got harder sums to do than their friends.

Worry about it IF you get reports coming back negatively about his behaviour. My DS, 5, tells me they don't do maths at school. In his view it's only little numbers so it doesn't count. But he behaves well enough, he gets his 'big numbers' at home in monopoly, dealing with money, cooking in grammes, times tables etc, and at school he is absorbing all the building blocks like number lines that he will need to build on later on. I feel strongly that he needs a professionally qualified, skilled teacher and state school is a good place to find one. I agree with PPs' comments about broadening him - the last thing our DS needs is more maths, he does all that himself. Drama, dance, football, fine motor control, self esteem (built not just on book learning) and independence, creativity, risk taking are all more important than him getting graded a Y2 'level' vs a Y1 level in YR.

A friend of mine sends her very precocious 3yo to forest school. Expensive, but a very good way of giving him a broader base.

Other than that, how is his development normally? In terms of his social, emotional development etc. If in that area his behind, then it may be an abnormal development.

But yeah, he is quite smart .

Wildebeest you're right, counting and knowing letters are just counting and knowing letters. When they are sitting their GCSEs, your DS might be streets ahead of a child who learned to read at 2.

Wow so many replies, thanks everyone, lots of food for thought.
Thanks fegurson for the links, I will be having a look.

Just to answer some of the questions, I think socially and emotionally he is normal, nursery reports are good in that respect. He naturally wants to know I think although obviously because of his early problems we did over compensate with things he could do.

I guess I'm thinking about this at the moment as we have to choose schools this year. There are 2 in our area, one that is very good and academically strong (although I'm sure they are strong in other areas) and another that is less academically strong but possibly more rounded (and more chance of getting in) so I'm worrying about making the right choice for him. I will go and visit each school etc but just wanted people's advice.

I guess I'm scared of making the wrong decision!

[Grin]

just bear in mind that 'academically strong' is kind of self fulfilling - the school that gets a reputation edge by whichever means it achieves then starts attracting the committed parents or those who are strongly valuing academics, ergo the results keep improving (not necessarily via any particular strength of that school but because they have the intake of supportive/academic/competitive parents) and the reputation keeps improving with it.

meanwhile the school down the road may have the best teachers, best use of data, best differentiation, resources, creativity etc because they've been meeting the needs of a broader range of children and actually having to teach them rather than rely on parents doing most of the leg work.

the former school can suddenly, seemingly surprisingly to all get a 'needs improvement' rating in an inspection despite it's overall end results whilst the latter school gets an outstanding.

look for value added rather than end results and take even that with a pinch of salt as some schools diddle it by, as i mentioned earlier, ignoring actual progress and reporting it conservatively so that they hold some back for the next stage in case the child has a progress lull.

also ime as an ex teacher really good teachers find those easy schools dull and end up working at the more challenged interesting and cutting edge schools where their skills are put to the test more and the kids need them more.

As a parent of a bright kiddo, I still really liked this article:

www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10623941/Your-child-is-not-a-genius.-Get-over-it.html

He sounds incredibly bright to me, and will be way above any of there other children in his reception class.
Good luck in finding the right school!

Can I ask how many reception classes you've taught Timetoask?

yeah, where are your credentials ?

How dare you post a positive comment without at least 20 yrs experience?!

well?

Interesting CheerfulYank, we had no TV either and were read to a lot - apparently I learned to read by following my older sister's finger while she read. Though I discovered later in school that although I could read my pronunciation of some words was terrible and I had to work on my spelling all my life.

It's more than a comment BravePotato it's a "statement of fact" - unfortunately not at all true (unless of course Timetoask is being sarcastic)

but surely everyone on here knows opinions are just...opinions?

I certainly don't take everything I read on here at face value!

Oh dear! I've been told off my the teacher. Mrz you need to relax a little, this is an open forum, not a teacher's forum.
Disclaimer: I am not a teacher and hope not to be sued if your child turns our to be a average child.
Disclaimer 2: I am basing my comment on what my own son could do at that age (he is in the top stream of his primary class in his outstanding school), as well as what I have observed with friend's kids.

Hopefully the OP isn't misled by the opinion

Oh dear its turning into a bun fight!

Thanks again everyone for the comments, qualified or not. If it wasn't for everyone telling me he's incredibly bright then I wouldn't even question it, I hope that whichever school he ends up in, having an encouraging home environment and engaged parents is just as important. ...

perhaps you need to ask everyone what their point of reference is when making the judgement doineedhelp.

The Prime areas of learning in reception are Communication & Language, Personal, Social & Emotional development and Physical development good luck

My experience of having three dc go through primary is that he will be towards the top, but not at the top.

I certainly wouldn't think he's going to be struggling with boredom at the top of the class from what you've said.

And by the end of reception for my dc's classes some of the dc who came in knowing very little had risen to the top, whereas one or two whose parents thought they had raised little genii at the start of the year had a shock to find that there were a good number were now ahead of their dc.

I have two bright DSs both of whom could read going into reception. They were not the only ones. Out of ds1s class there were five children reading when they started. I accept that might not be the norm since my DSs go to a selective independent.

He's definitely bright. Not freakishly so though.

I have two bright DSs both of whom could read going into reception.

If you read the OP you will notice that the child (who is still over a year away from reception age) can do more than just reading some words and counting by rota, he is actually doing basic maths.

This forum is full of unqualified opinions, that is what OP wants, opinions. If she wanted a professional opinion she would probably contact an educational psychologist, rather than a teacher anyway.

I agree with what DeWee says, many children catch up towards the end of the year. Some of the children who start "reading" at reception have pushy parents that have been actively teaching them before arriving at school.

I stand by my unqualified opinion, OP's child is very bright indeed and hopefully will find a school that will support him

My eldest was reading fluently before starting nursery - his favourite material at the time was the Financial Times because he liked calculating stocks & share values - super bright no