Part time start- school wont even discuss it

[EnglishRose1320]

I posted once or twice before about my concerns over DS2 starting school in September (probably just a fussy mum!)

He isn't the youngest of the year, he will be the oldest of the summer term children so still quite young, nowadays with all children starting in September I was hoping that the school would allow him to do a staggered start and build up to full time. Currently he still sleeps most days for anything from half an hour to 3 hours and I just can't see him managing a whole week without getting really run down.

I mentioned my concerns to the head of the foundation unit and he e-mailed the head teacher- the response I got was that they will not discuss it unless there is medical evidence. I feel quite disappointed that they wont even have a conversation about it.

Any advice r.e what I can do next?

I know I could defer him by a term or two, however ideally I want him to start with his peers.

Having worked in several schools within this council I am very surprised by the attitude of this school and wasn't expecting this response at all.

[EnglishRose1320]

Yes he still naps but if you read the whole thing you would realise that if he doesn't nap he becomes really run down and it affects everything.
I am fussy but I think all parents are in certain areas and I am not being overly fussy.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

I did read the whole thing, actually.

[EnglishRose1320]

I happy to receive a mix of advice, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't and it is really good to hear that children do cope- I am not un informed or stupidly over protective- I am the person that knows my son best and I am 99% sure he will struggle, as to how quickly he will adapt. I am not sure.
The main advice I wanted was on how people had gone about discussing similar situations with schools/communication with heat teachers etc. Possible ideas and strategies- not to question whether or not my reason is genuine- which it is.
However I do still really appreciate all advice and as I have said before I would happily be wrong- I would love him to have some energy, I would love him to manage his half an hour swimming lesson without sucking his thumb and lagging a width behind all the other children. He isn't ill but he does have low energy- I guess all children are different. His brother gave up sleeps at 9 months and started school full time fine (did sleep a bit more than usual- but still no where near as much as most kids)

[pyrrah]

fishead - They do miss loads if they don't start in September - especially if it is a school that starts them all full-time from the first day of term.

A child starting later will have missed out on learning the school routine and where things are in the building, missed out on the introduction to phonics and simple maths, missed out on getting to know the other children from day one.

For many children it will be far harder to come into a class with established friendship groups, where everyone has grasped phonics, numbers, reading and where everyone knows what to do and when (even as simple as when it's carpet time and where the loos are).

Obviously for some kids this won't be a problem at all, but would you want to risk it? Personally I would rather risk the odd tantrum and my DD taking a nap in the book-corner once in a while.

[HarveySchlumpfenburger]

OP, has your GP actually checked him out for an underlying medical condition? Some children do keep their nap for longer than others and some do have less energy but what you're describing doesn't sound entirely normal for his age. It could be that there's nothing wrong, but I think it would be worth getting him checked out to make sure, if you haven't already.

[smellyfishead]

I cant see that myself and things like basic phonics and reading can be introduced at home.

I also don't agree with it being hard to adjust after the others have started, if anything, ime, the new child in class is often a welcome novelty and makes friends fairly easily.

for my child its not a case of an occasional nap in the book corner, she has 2-3hrs in the middle of the day, without it she is hell and would then want to go to bed at 5.

At 4.1 I think its my prerogative to decide if shes ready for school or not, she legally doesn't have to be there till a whole years time so I don't think keeping her back will do anything negative, lets face facts, some children are 5 at school start or very soon after they start, 4 is a very different age to 5.

[EnglishRose1320]

Pyrrah- he has already done a year as a nursery child in the same unit so has good friends and knows the routine, I really do want him to start in September- just worried it will be too big a step up.

Rafa- he had blood tests back when he had just turned 3 after 6 months plus of sleeping between 16-18 hours out of 24 and being so sleepy in between- luckily blood tests came back clear!

Smellyfish- I think you are right and that a child will adjust fairly easily- as long as they are exposed to social situations already and have an understanding of listening etc- the only child I have ever seen really struggle with the concept of school was someone who had never left their mum at all until the first day of school.

[SixImpossible]

He sounds perfectly normal to me. My dc1 was exactly the same at that age (-4y2m?)

September is not a crucial time for phonics etc. A term or two later, plenty of reception children will still have only the vaguest idea of reading, because they are not all reading-ready at the same time. Besides, EnglishRose's ds would not be missing out on any 'essential' learning or social skills as he would be present in the mornings.

[SixImpossible]

OK, maybe not quite the same. Dc1 slept a mere 14-15h out of 24.

[EnglishRose1320]

He sleeping about that now Six :) so going in the right direction!

We are having a very quiet day at home today- skipping his swimming lesson, he woke up with his eyes stuck together and a crackly chest- just in time for the summer!

The head of the unit has agreed to phone home when he seems to tired, which I guess is a step in the right direction.
I spoke to another mum who's son is a few years older and she said she ended up just keeping him at home for days here and there, not ideal but do-able.

[3asAbird]

They dont do much academically until after xmas.

as 1st term mostly staggered starts until ct half term

xmas term lots fun activities.

i defered mine until jan.

doing stuff at home.

[prh47bridge]

EnglishRose1320

The government started consultations on a revised Admissions Code this week. You may wish to draw the school's attention to the draft version which you can find here. Paragraph 2.16c says, "where parents wish, children may attend part-time until later in the school year". That is completely clear that it is your choice.

Whilst this is only a draft document at the moment, the consultation document describes this as clarifying the position relating to the admission of summer born children. It is therefore clear that the DfE's view is that starting part time is already your choice, not the school's.

[EnglishRose1320]

Thanks Prh- I shall have a look at that

3asABird- I wish they did a staggered start but its straight in from the beginning.

The head of the unit has agreed to phone me if DS is tired- hmm will I get any phone calls, and I said that I would keep him at home if he didn't have enough energy to attend (they were not keen on that) it's not ideal because I would love for him to be able to attend mornings and rest in the afternoons but it is a step in the right direction.

I will see how he goes over the summer- if he really struggles then I will delay till Jan

[schroedingersdodo]

I would be tempted to just keep him at home on Wednesdays. So he could recover from 2 days and be rested for the next 2. Much easier.

[EnglishRose1320]

Yes I might do that Schroedingersdode

[EnglishRose1320]

We kept him up all day every day this week to see how he got on- well lets just say I am covered in bruises from his meltdowns- he was a monster when over tired and kept falling asleep in the wrong place at the wrong time or just having total wobblies and was not consolable- yesterday we decided enough was a enough and let him have his afternoon sleep and he was a happy boy all day long- and has woken up today in the best mood he has all week.

[EnglishRose1320]

Also by the end of the week his asthma was playing up along with sticky eyes/ runny nose etc, not sure if its connected or not or whether he is doing the typical thing of getting ill the minute the holidays start.

[SixImpossible]

You are not being precious. Your child's developmental, emotional and health needs are a perfectly reasonable requirement.

[thegreylady]

My dd is August born and when she started full time school in 1978 she was only just 4. For the first term the Reception teacher had big gym mats and cushions in a corner of the room where the children were encouraged to go for a rest. It might be an idea to talk to the teacher rather than the Head. I bet she is used to dealing with sleepy 4 year olds.
By half term my dd was coping with the day well but was sleeping frrom 6pm till 7 am. By Christmas none of the children were using the mats. They only came out after lunch and were very much optional, the classroom activities were too exciting to be missed by most of the class.