Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Is anyone else wondering how they're going to juggle school and work? Or already struggling?

113 replies

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 11:57

Dd starts in September

The parents information session is on a Tuesday morning. Dp and I both work (I work part time) and dd's settling in sessions are on four consecutive Fridays 10:45-1:05 when I also work.

From September she has to go half days, which I know will be better for her, but I can't pick her up when I'm working!

It's really stressing me out. Atm my parents look after her but it's a twenty minute drive from theirs to her school and I can't ask them to do that.

I have no idea what I'm going to do it's really stressing me out!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LIZS · 17/05/2014 11:59

How long are the half days for ? Could they cover some day , you/dp others with al or adjusting your hours temporarily and maybe start using a cm

shivs1974 · 17/05/2014 12:00

Can you move your day off??

Local childminder?
It's hard...we had the same issue with nearest family being 2 hrs away?

smallinthesmoke · 17/05/2014 12:02

It is a nightmare isn't it.
Many parents resolve it through- taking annual leave around this time, swapping childcare with other parents (eg. you could take their kid if they work PT on days when you don't work), advertising for part-time nanny share (does the school have an email group you could go on?). And it wouldn't be unusual to ask your parents to drive 20 mins, TBH.
What are you planning to do in the holidays BTW?

BackforGood · 17/05/2014 12:07

These slow starts are a logistical nightmare.
Can't see a lot of point in doing 4xFriday 'settling ins' either - if a child isn't keen, then a week is a long time before you start again and then you kind of lose the point of 'getting used to it'.

However - just my rant.

What are you going to do once she is doing normal school hours? Around here the CMs and the PVI Nurseries will do pick up at lunchtime while the school is faffing around - they know it's not the Parents fault.

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:09

I haven't got any annual leave as it all has to be booked in jan (rat race) I've had to use it for childcare when my parents are on holiday plus our honeymoon.

It's half days until October half term when it will be re-evaluated. Once she's full time dp is going to go into work late two days a week and my parents can pick her up on the one day I work late. I just can't ask then to do it three times a week when she's half days.

In the holidays my parents can have them as my step mum doesn't work any of the hours I work. I do shift work and the shifts are 1:30-6:30 or 6:45-1:30 so I can't change my hours.

We don't know anyone going to the school, dd has to get a bus and we can't afford a childminder or nanny. It's annoying as I could pick her up at 2 but 1 is impossible!

OP posts:

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:11

Also the settling in sessions are in June which is three months before she starts..

OP posts:

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:12

shivs I don't know how anyone manages without family near by!

All I remember from primary school is my dad dropping me off and picking me up every day without fail and I feel bad I can't do that!

OP posts:

Noregretsatall · 17/05/2014 12:17

Would the school possibly hold on to her until 2 pm when you can get there. If you explain your predicament to them?

plus3 · 17/05/2014 12:18

I have heard it said that the primary school years are the hardest for working parents mothers

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:18

I'm not sure I suppose it's worth asking. They're only doing half days for the summer born. It would only be two days a week so they might do...

OP posts:

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:20

I feel I would be much less stressed if I wasn't working but a fair bit poorer thus making me more stressed

OP posts:

Noregretsatall · 17/05/2014 12:21

Also do you have any friends with children at the school even if they're not reception? Maybe you could ask them in return for collecting their dc on another day?

Alternatively, I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind doing the four Fridays if you're really stuck and they can see its stressing you out....

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:24

I don't know anyone at the school apart from next door neighbour and they work full time. It's a completely different village to us I've not even been there

I told my parents about my predicament and they didn't offer any help so I don't think they want to do it.

OP posts:

CharlesRyder · 17/05/2014 12:24

TBH I think if they are only doing half days for summer borns and you are polite-but-assertive enough with the school they will definitely keep her until 2pm for you.

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:25

I will definitely ask. Also is it normal to have a mixed reception and yr 1 class?

OP posts:

EvilTwins · 17/05/2014 12:30

It is a nightmare. When mine started, DH was able to shift his working hours slightly - he would go in at 7am (usually starts at 9) then I would drop them at school on my way to work (teacher, so inflexible) DH would finish at lunchtime, pick them DTs up, stay home with them til I got home at 3.30ish (school was good and allowed me to rearrange meetings etc) then he would go back to work from, say 4pm - 8pm. It was crap, but only for 4 weeks.

I did think it was ridiculous - a lot of the kids, mine included, were used to being at nursery from 8-5, so suddenly only being deemed capable of a 3.5 hour day was odd. Mine are summer born too!

addictedtosugar · 17/05/2014 12:30

I wouldn't be playing that game.
DS1 (just summer born - May b'day) started full days, as did the rest of the YR in Sept. They did phase them in - 1/3 on first day, 1/3 on 3rd day, and the final 1/3 on the last day.
He had one settling session in the summer, where I joined him for lunch, and the took him home. The parents info session was after school. I needed 0.5days holiday.

Since she is summer born, I think I'd be telling school she either started full time with the older kids in Sept, or she would be remaining at nursery til they could take her full time in Oct / Jan.

Mixed R/Y1 is sometimes in small schools, or those with a pretty consistent class and a half intake. Its not common in our town, but I have a friend at a village school where thats what happens.

CharlesRyder · 17/05/2014 12:32

You may need to make a fuss be quite assertive. You may have more luck saying you want 2 or 3 full days from the start as it may be easier for them to keep her all day than cater for a child going home at a random time. Plenty of summer borns go full time from the off. My DS is August and has been to a very structured pre-school (at least as intense as Reception) 8.30 - 3.15 five days a week all this year and has loved it.

Mixed R/Y1 is not uncommon in small schools.

Viviennemary · 17/05/2014 12:35

It really is a bit inconsiderate of the school to have these couple of hours in the middle of the day. I'd just not send my DC to those settling in sessions if I couldn't make childcare arrangements.

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 12:43

Do you think dd would be at a disadvantage though from not going to the school before actually starting?

OP posts:

CharlesRyder · 17/05/2014 12:48

I think I would send my DC to one settling session and make sure I talked to them about the school lots. I would feel that was enough.

My DS starts Reception in September too. We are moving across the country in the summer holidays. He has been to an open day at his new school and will be going for one settling session in June. I know he will be fine on this much. He will start full time 8.15 - 3.45 too!

I am a Primary school teacher and I STILL think it will be fine!

JodieGarberJacob · 17/05/2014 12:52

It's not inconsiderate! This is a very considered approach because the time that new-starters find difficult is lunchtime. During these sessions there will be adults specifically going through the routine and helping them find their way around. Normally they get thrown in the deep-end and expected to survive alone while harassed MDAs sort out fights etc with the older children.

And all these settling in sessions are for the benefit of the children and are not done to annoy parents! Remember teachers are parents too and have the same childcare problems so it's not done to spite you honest!

teenagetantrums · 17/05/2014 12:55

when my started they just started full time, I would just say she cant do half days, they can take her full time, see what they say.

Original poster

SpottyTeacakes · 17/05/2014 13:01

Charles that's really reassuring I think you've all helped me loads so thank you! Lots to consider and talk to dp about.

OP posts:

Mutley77 · 17/05/2014 13:09

I would just skip the settling in sessions. Yes they are thoughtful to offer them but if you can't get your dc there it won't be a major problem. I say that as mummy of a ds who has started 2 new schools in 2 years (now aged 5) and tbh it has proved to me that they are more resilient than we think :) I was gutted we were in the position of putting him through that but I honestly think k he has benefited from Coping with change. And he had no settling in at either!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5