Is anyone else wondering how they're going to juggle school and work? Or already struggling?

[SpottyTeacakes]

Dd starts in September

The parents information session is on a Tuesday morning. Dp and I both work (I work part time) and dd's settling in sessions are on four consecutive Fridays 10:45-1:05 when I also work.

From September she has to go half days, which I know will be better for her, but I can't pick her up when I'm working!

It's really stressing me out. Atm my parents look after her but it's a twenty minute drive from theirs to her school and I can't ask them to do that.

I have no idea what I'm going to do it's really stressing me out!

I thought the rules had changed recently so you can insist on full time from the start?

I took most of my annual leave for the first term and I needed it. It is not only the slow start, it is the amount of events the school but more so the child expect you to be there.

You will have parent evenings, inset days, class assemblies, parent lunches, trips with parental help, cake bakes, Christmas production, end of term plays and so on.

I think it is important for the child to see a parent attending so very often DH and I split and only for the Christmas one we both attend.

For settling in - DD had three sessions and attended two, one with me, one with DH. could you take half-days from work?

For start - DD was already with her childminder so she collected her whenever her day was over and we collected from her as normal.

We haven't got any annual leave to take it's all been booked up covering childcare whilst my parents are on holiday and our honeymoon plus dp has to keep two weeks back for Christmas as he's a builder.

No idea what I'm going to do in January when ds starts nursery twenty minutes in the opposite direction

Mixed R-y1 is very common in our large school (300ish pupils).

"it's a twenty minute drive from [ILs] to her school and I can't ask them to do that."

Why not? Do they not drive? I know grandparents who would do it daily. Pay them 30p/mile for travel costs. Would mean £12/day in my local travel conditions (assuming both morning drop off & afternoon pickup), so about the same as a childminder would cost, but you have 100% flexibility & don't have to sign a contract & 3 dozen safety forms. Else take unpaid leave, or flexible working on weekends to make up hours lost in the week, or compressed weeks, etc.

ps: can you not use a more convenient nursery?

I work at a drs surgery so no flexible hours etc.

Yes my parents drive but they also work and have school age children themselves

Wrt the nursery if I can't work it I will have to try and change but there's only one our way and it's a big chain. I've heard some not very nice things about it and don't really like the way they work

I don't think you can ask the school to hold onto her. They are not childcare providers, but education providers. Although it is inconvenient for you, they have worked out a system and you need to work with it. If everyone wanted a tailor made programme of X full days, it would never work. Staffing will have been worked out according to the numbers expected at different sessions.
I can see it is really difficult. These staggered starts do seem to be being phased out or reduced in length. Perhaps you will have to miss some of the induction days.
How about contacting the school and asking for advice about if they have any childminders that serve the school, who you could contact to ask for short term help. If you are a single mother, you could also ask the school for recommendations of how to manage it. At least they have given you lots of notice and I think you will find a way round it.

I don't think asking if she can go full time is using them as a childminding service? Honestly, as I said, we can't afford a childminder atm and I think it would be unfair on dd to start a new school and childminder at the same time.

I'm not single and dp is changing his hours so he can do the mornings when I'm working which is good.

They might have designed a system chocolatewombat, but the OP's DD is legally entitled to a full time place from the September after she turns 4. And the school have to provide that. A 1-2 week staggered start might be a bit of a grey area but half a term or longer because she's summer born is unlikely to comply with the Admissions Code.

If you can get to some of the inductions, you will meet other parents. There may be others in your position and you can help each other out a bit.
Your Parents haven't offered....I would ask them directly for help. Say how difficult it is for you and you aren't asking for help every day, but can they commit to do a bit of it.

I didn't mean that asking for full time was you using them as childminding, just that they have a system and can't adapt it to every individuals needs. I guess you can ask for full time every day from the word go. If others in the class are doing that, you ask now, whilst planning is still occurring and say you think your daughter will cope, it maybe possible. Will only work if other children in the class will be there all day.
I would put a request like this in writing to the Head,map you get a written response.

Is she young in the year and that is the reason for the long period of half days? Do older ones go full time earlier?

If no one goes full time until half term, they aren't going to have just her for the afternoon. If the older ones are already there, they maybe willi g to take her too, as long as you don't want to do it some days and not others....I think you need to ask for all day every day, to avoid it looki g as if you need a tailor made system.
Clearly the school don't think they should be in all day....there must be reasons for that and they need to be taken seriously.

Thanks there's definitely lots to think about. My favourite idea is still that I quit work (obviously won't happen!)

Anyone born after Easter goes half days until October half term it says. She's June born and does have some minor physical issues which cause her to be more tired than others.

Honestly if I didn't have to work I would think the half days were great

Well,mounds like some do full days earlier, so it might be possible.
I'd get onto the school asap rather than waiting.

Remember you have right to take unpaid parental leave. Not ideal but if you have used all annual leave May be an option.

Dixie I don't think I do as I haven't been working there a year yet?

DD started a childminder and school at the same time, she also did only know one other child in her class, it caused absolute no problem.

I think you will have to think long term, after all, you need childcare for 6 years.

Can't you use the money you're saving from nursery and use it for a childminder?

Honestly we will be fine once she starts full time it's just the settling in and half days I'm struggling with. Will discuss it with dp once he's home from work the pub I bet

I don't pay anything for dd's nursery as she just goes 9-3 for two days so it's funded

Twenty minutes drive is nothing.
Are your parents particularly frail or elderly?

No as I said up thread they both work and have school age children. I don't feel it's their job to run around after my children so feel guilty asking

You'll be imposing on someone no matter what you do.

I do sympathise. I moved house just before DC1 started school & I had to enter an illegal childminding arrangement to get childcare that was remotely practical. You have better choices, but none are easy.

I think if you pay their mileage they would probably do it for you, as it is only temporary.