Is it worth requesting the type of teacher?

[Rumplestiltskinismyname]

Bear with me- as I am sure this will sound nuts. I am also prepared to don my hard hat, as sure I may get a good roasting on this one- but I have method in my madness.

My DS will be starting school this coming September. We have been allocated our first choice school, and we are of course very pleased about this and are counting our lucky stars- as it was by no means a given. The school he is going to has a 4 class entry. It is an infant school only.

We have ummed and arrred for aged over which school to put as our first choice, and also the independent vs. state school quandary. We are likely to move him into private for 'juniors'. The infant school is OFSTED outstanding, so we decided that it would do just as good, if not better a job than the local independents.

As it is a 4 class entry would it be worth dropping the head a line (I also know her- in a round about way) requesting that my son has more of an 'old-school' style teacher? My son is dynamic and vivacious- for a 4 year old, we have comments about 'what a character' he is more than anything else, and always have done. He is also incredibly headstrong, and is usually the ring leader in most activities. In short, he will probably need a relatively firm hand if he isn't going to be disruptive. There are lots of mums who antagonise over whether to send their DC full or part time from the offset, there is no doubt in my mind that my DS needs full time, as he is desperately in need of more stimulation than either I, or preschool can offer!

Seeing as it is a 4 class entry there are 4 potential teachers. I guess in reception, they tend to just divvy out the children between the 4 classes- I very much doubt the preschools are contacted to ensure that the teachers are matched!!

I realise I will look like the pushy mum from the outset- but I am thinking about my son, but also about the teachers needs too... my son is likely to be hard hard work for most 'softly softly' teachers, and I fear he will be the disruptive one if he doesn't have a firm teacher at the helm!!

No.

No.

He won't be unique to the school, I'm sure they'll handle him OK. :)

No - every teacher should be able to handle him.

No I wouldn't. Just try to go with the flow a bit. The teacher's will cope I'm sure.

Yikes. Teachers NOT teacher's.

No, you should not do this. You would look pushy and ignorant about approaches to education these days.
The reply would be that they cannot entertain individual requests and all of their teachers are very capable and able to manage your son. They would be very polite but think you are truly ridiculous.
Traditional is not highly valued in infant schools these days. Children in reception follow learning through play based curriculums and will do that whether you like it or not.
Having chosen the school, you now need to trust them to do their job. If you can't do that, then go elsewhere now where the style suits you better.

No.

And maybe think about how you can use the summer to help him develop the kind of behaviour that will help him settle at school.

Mummy's 'dynamic and vivacious' little boy may not be seen in such terms by a less enamoured audience!

Definitely not. Imagine if every parent did this... If the school is outstanding, it is likely to have outstanding teachers who will be able to handle your disruptive son.

All four year olds are dynamic and vivacious, every single one.

Your son is a very special little boy - to you. Do not specially request a particular sort of teacher. You will be the laughing stock of the staff room.

Try to rein in those pfb urges. I understand, I do. But try not to.

The more I think about this, the more ludicrous it seems! You've brought up a child who you are pretty sure won't behave well, and will cause most teachers stress, who has to be ring leader and whose 'headstrong' behaviour you know is likely to cause problems.

Having decided to let this school have a bash for a few years, you expect them to timetable a teacher who will be able to cope with your unique little chap....

No. Look to your parenting first!

definitely don't

or you will become one of those mothers talked about in the staff room

your boy is unique to you, the school will have seen hundreds like him

you need to chill!

agree with Orginal!!

Speaking as an ex primary teacher- NO!
They will think you are a bit bonkers.

And IME teachers DO talk to preschools. Teachers at our primary visited preschool several times and chatted to the staff in July about those moving up.

Don't worry- at the first settling in session the teacher will realise how lively your DS is and will react accordingly. That's what teachers do.

No!
I second everything that Trollsworth & The OriginalSteamingNit has said also no school would bow to any parents demand/request for a specific teacher.
You say dynamic & vivacious, is this mummy code for bossy and disruptive?

all the teachers will be trainied into how to deal with pita 4 year olds by the way and all 4 will use the same techniques
pasta jars
reard systems
he'll probably be the first to get the class cup because he sat still for 5 minutes

He and I do talk a lot about listening and letting other people win, so really trying to work on some of those 'skills' - he is an only child so it isn't always incredibly natural. Have started doing things like board games etc. to try and help with winning. I am under no illusions that some people find him precocious and loud- but he is 4, and not that easy to tame!

Oh well- seems my idea was just nuts then!!

I do have major angst about him being disruptive- he does need quite a firm hand even in things like swimming lessons- hence my concerns.

But,will leave it to fate to decide, and will keep my fingers crossed!

reward systems

No, of course not! School are used to dealing with naughty children.

Really don't do it. At our state primary they do indeed contact the main pre-schools who send kids there and assess who would be best placed together or separately and who the 'characters' are.

Even in an independent school they really wouldn't appreciate you telling them you know better than them or that some if the teachers wouldn't be able to handle your DS.

You would get backs up straight away and be the subject of giggles in the staff room no doubt. Not a good start.

They mix up ages, sex, ethnic mix, those who have been to school nursery etc to get a balance as far as I know. Personality would be impossible to match or predict and also school behaviour policies should be consistent anyway

Cross posted OP.

no don't

also-of course schools contact preschools before term to get a 'report' about each child and their needs etc! classes aren't just divvied up-thought goes in to them!

Ah- and I didn't know that gymboy- that is good to know!

Absolutely not. You will come accross as 'that mother' and your request will not be granted he will go into whatever class he would have done anyway.

This type of request isn't tolerated in independent schools either.