Is it worth requesting the type of teacher?

[Rumplestiltskinismyname]

Bear with me- as I am sure this will sound nuts. I am also prepared to don my hard hat, as sure I may get a good roasting on this one- but I have method in my madness.

My DS will be starting school this coming September. We have been allocated our first choice school, and we are of course very pleased about this and are counting our lucky stars- as it was by no means a given. The school he is going to has a 4 class entry. It is an infant school only.

We have ummed and arrred for aged over which school to put as our first choice, and also the independent vs. state school quandary. We are likely to move him into private for 'juniors'. The infant school is OFSTED outstanding, so we decided that it would do just as good, if not better a job than the local independents.

As it is a 4 class entry would it be worth dropping the head a line (I also know her- in a round about way) requesting that my son has more of an 'old-school' style teacher? My son is dynamic and vivacious- for a 4 year old, we have comments about 'what a character' he is more than anything else, and always have done. He is also incredibly headstrong, and is usually the ring leader in most activities. In short, he will probably need a relatively firm hand if he isn't going to be disruptive. There are lots of mums who antagonise over whether to send their DC full or part time from the offset, there is no doubt in my mind that my DS needs full time, as he is desperately in need of more stimulation than either I, or preschool can offer!

Seeing as it is a 4 class entry there are 4 potential teachers. I guess in reception, they tend to just divvy out the children between the 4 classes- I very much doubt the preschools are contacted to ensure that the teachers are matched!!

I realise I will look like the pushy mum from the outset- but I am thinking about my son, but also about the teachers needs too... my son is likely to be hard hard work for most 'softly softly' teachers, and I fear he will be the disruptive one if he doesn't have a firm teacher at the helm!!

Please don't tell the teacher what sort of methods to use either! What works 1:1 at home will not necessarily work in the 1:30 environment at school. If you want to help your ds I would explain some of the things he will be expected to do. E.g. Be able to sit still for 10 minutes, put his hand up if he wants to say something, not talk while the teacher is talking, listen to instructions from adults, share, take turns.

He does not sound unusual. As so many others have said, hundreds of similarly charactered boys will have gone through those four entry classes.

He sounds a lot like one of my sons I wish there was a mute button sometimes. He loves school and behaves well there because he sees there are rules to be followed.

Fret less. Enjoy his four-year-old-ness more. They soon grow surly and teenage

Usually the school are in communication with all preschools and nurseries feeding the reception year. They will hear from children's key workers so will know of children who are likely to be more- er lively. They will bear all this information in mind when they group the intake in to classes. Along with lots of other factors such as gender, DOB, attainment etc.

No
A big part of his of education is about learning how to behave, learning self control and how to get along with others. He will not be the only lively character and the teachers are well experienced in dealing with this. In fact you might be surprised he could be overshadowed by some even stronger characters in such a big reception intake.

No, I think many parents would like to pick the ideal teacher for their child but it is not an option, its not workable and its not realistic. Your child is no more important than any other child in the intake. The teachers will have have taught children like yours many times over, your child will be nothing new to them. if you make this request you will be labelled that mother for however long your child attends the school.

We once had a parent (secondary) who wrote a very long letter specifying the only star signs that teachers of her PFB were allowed to have. Compared to her you don't sound too bad!

Hahaha, if you have one of these children you will get very good at decoding the relevant teacherly euphemisms in reports and parent-teacher meetings.

My personal recurring favourites are:

"X is very enthusiastic" (may be accompanied by a teeny tiny wince)
"Y is such an energetic child" (ditto)
"She is always keen to share her opinions with others"
"Z needs to work on learning to listen to what others are saying"
"She is beginning to understand the need to think about the consequences of her actions".

Reception teachers everywhere, we salute you.

Rumple:

I'm about to say goodbye to primary school for DD1 (DD2 has started at a new school as we've moved) and genuinely my advice is this:

Say NOTHING/ Ask NOTHING/ Do NOTHING until after Christmas in YR.

Give yourself and your child time to adjust to the new routine & new environment.

Observe but don't jump to conclusions.

You are bound to not like something - but don't rush into battle.

Don't constantly ask questions (if it's minor ask someone else in the class/ or friends at the school with older children - really ask anyone there are always people milling about before/ after school). Read the newsletters/ letters home (and don't just ask - look in the school bag) - check the school diary.

Brace yourself for a huge change from nursery where you were told a lot about your child's day and you had a sense that staff cared about your child - prepare yourself for organised chaos and 1:15/ 1:30 ratios between staff and children. Many teachers make a huge effort - but don't expect them to know everything about your child in a few short weeks.

Give the teacher a while to 'get' your child. Remember that they're also delivering lessons to the whole class, assessing each child, etc... - so only have a small amount of one to one time with your DC.

Be positive - about going to school, about learning and about making friends. But don't expect everything to be perfect day 1.

Best of luck to all of you newbies starting primary in September - I sincerely wish you joyous primary school years.

PSBD