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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Is it worth requesting the type of teacher?

58 replies

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 07/05/2014 17:21

Bear with me- as I am sure this will sound nuts. I am also prepared to don my hard hat, as sure I may get a good roasting on this one- but I have method in my madness.

My DS will be starting school this coming September. We have been allocated our first choice school, and we are of course very pleased about this and are counting our lucky stars- as it was by no means a given. The school he is going to has a 4 class entry. It is an infant school only.

We have ummed and arrred for aged over which school to put as our first choice, and also the independent vs. state school quandary. We are likely to move him into private for 'juniors'. The infant school is OFSTED outstanding, so we decided that it would do just as good, if not better a job than the local independents.

As it is a 4 class entry would it be worth dropping the head a line (I also know her- in a round about way) requesting that my son has more of an 'old-school' style teacher? My son is dynamic and vivacious- for a 4 year old, we have comments about 'what a character' he is more than anything else, and always have done. He is also incredibly headstrong, and is usually the ring leader in most activities. In short, he will probably need a relatively firm hand if he isn't going to be disruptive. There are lots of mums who antagonise over whether to send their DC full or part time from the offset, there is no doubt in my mind that my DS needs full time, as he is desperately in need of more stimulation than either I, or preschool can offer!

Seeing as it is a 4 class entry there are 4 potential teachers. I guess in reception, they tend to just divvy out the children between the 4 classes- I very much doubt the preschools are contacted to ensure that the teachers are matched!!

I realise I will look like the pushy mum from the outset- but I am thinking about my son, but also about the teachers needs too... my son is likely to be hard hard work for most 'softly softly' teachers, and I fear he will be the disruptive one if he doesn't have a firm teacher at the helm!!

OP posts:

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vvviola · 07/05/2014 17:45

The other thing to bear in mind is that an"old school" teacher may not be what your son needs at all.

I always assumed that DD1 would need a very structured and formal environment - she's a well-behaved child, but prone to being a bit daft and losing focus.

We ended up in a school system which is a lot less formal than I thought she needed. Result? She's absolutely thriving. All the (very different in style) teachers she has had have found the best way to encourage and support her, to the extent that when we are due to change systems in a few years, I'm concerned about the level of formality and rigidity of the system she'll be moving into.

Long story short: you might be surprised by what style of teaching actually brings out the best in your DS, and I wouldn't request any particular sort of teacher at this stage.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 07/05/2014 17:46

I agree, definitely not. In fact, at DS2's primary school, if a parent requested or demanded (on occasions) a specific teacher then they would definitely not have that teacher. If their DC had already been on the provisional class list for the teacher they wanted they would be moved.

The reason being that if you let one parent think they have 'chosen' their child's teacher every other parent will be demanding the right to do the same - and that just would not work.

If your DS does not settle with his teacher & you feel that it is the teacher's approach causing the problems, then you could possibly ask them to rethink his class placement. Not without giving his allocated teacher a fair go though.

ProfYaffle · 07/05/2014 17:54

Do you get to meet the teacher or headteacher at all? In our school all families have a meeting with the head before their first child at the school starts. At that point you can discuss any specific concerns you have. Plus the pre-schools all liaise with the school, acres of reports are written for each child and the teachers from school visit all the new starters in their pre-school too.

fwiw, I don't think you'd sound nuts. You'd sound like you're aware of potential problems with your son's behaviour and I'm sure the school would be relieved to know you're onside with management strategies.

Original poster

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 07/05/2014 18:04

Thank you vvviola- you may very well be right, I probably do need to relax, and have some more trust! We've just spent the afternoon round my friend, and her placid DS- whilst my son called the shots (again). I think it makes me polarise the differences that I see in my DS- which are probably exaggerated in my own mind.

Profyaffle- good point- we have both a teacher and head teacher meeting (according to the letter that was sent out). I will raise it when the teacher visits us at home- and try not to sound like I am preaching to him/her as to what sort of methods they should use, but just try and honestly describe my DS's character!

I am naturally a worrier- and yes, probably do try and 'over-plan', and over analyse situations! I am definitely on-board with any management strategies- in fact, would love to learn a few more myself!!

I am going to have years to practice this biting my tongue malarky- good job MN is here as a sounding board!

OP posts:

starlight1234 · 07/05/2014 18:06

like everyone else said no.

How does he behave at preschool , often it is different to with mum. Also be aware people may mean character as badly behaved.

Use the summer to get him ready for school by that I mean playing games, taking turns, letting him lose and cry ( if he does) because he will not win every game at school.

Make sure he does follow rules at home.

We incorporate some from school to home, like do what you are told straight away and kind words. Get your school rules it will help to instil them before he starts.

starlight1234 · 07/05/2014 18:08

We have one mum who has insisted her daughter is changed every year to a different teacher she is now year 3 and it has never happened..

OwlCapone · 07/05/2014 18:08

No. Look to your parenting first!

Hilarious.

littlesupersparks · 07/05/2014 18:16

Another no!

I don't know what to be more bemused byto be honest! You choose an outstanding school who teach kids like this year in, year out and think you know best! The teachers will have a common ethos and stick by the eyfs. They will all manage your child perfectly well, he doesn't sound unusual at all from your description.

I also can't quite believe you think they simply 'divvy up' the children! They have a lengthy information gathering process involved communication with pre schools and parents - no doubt the health service when necessary. They also do inductions so will meet your son beforehand.

I'm sure he will be fine!

ReallyTired · 07/05/2014 18:20

I feel sorry for the OP. She is clearly worried about how her son is going to cope with reception. Does the OP have any developmental issues like glue ear or speech and language problems? Is there any reason to think that OP is going to be more of a handful than other four year old boys? Has your son been in trouble at pre school? If your son is the type of boy who is in constant trouble at pre school then the school will be told.

Sometimes it is possible for requests for a particular teacher to work. A lot depends why and how/who the request is made by. My little girl made a request to have a particular teacher when she was in school nursery and got that teacher.

Lilaclily · 07/05/2014 18:25

I am naturally a worrier- and yes, probably do try and 'over-plan', and over analyse situations!

aw , I'm the same. which is my mumset is such a great sounding board before you leap in :)

HanSolo · 07/05/2014 18:32

Rumple- won't you have a home visit from school before he starts? Most schools in our area do this, and one of the things they use it for is to allocate toteachers, according to character.
Beware- you may want him FT from the off, but many, many schools do not allow this.
Find out from them ASAP, because if you work, it will throw a spanner in the works...
Wonder if you're near me though, spideysense is tingling re school description!

whatadrain · 07/05/2014 18:35

No... I'm afraid there might be a few PFB-related sniggers in the classroom if you run with this idea.

It is natural to worry, but unless he has a behavioural problem it is very unlikely a teacher with a TA etc will be unable to reign him in.

Original poster

Rumplestiltskinismyname · 07/05/2014 18:37

He will get a home visit- but this is after the teachers have been allocated (according to the letter we've had back already from the school). The school has allowed us to chose if we want PT or FT from the start- we have ticked the full time box.

Thanks for the concern ReallyTired- he has no developmental issues- in fact, my concerns are really more that he doesn't stop talking (could talk underwater). He doesn't get in trouble at preschool, he isn't naughty by nature- he is just, well, a real live wire. Loves to tell jokes, been the 'main part' in everything etc.

I am being PFB, I am going to wind my neck in now, and just accept that I am being slightly ridiculous!!

OP posts:

Ferguson · 07/05/2014 18:40

If not a home visit, might there be other opportunities to visit the school prior to September - Open Day, Sports Day etc - where you could meet potential teachers?

ComeHeather · 07/05/2014 18:51

PM'd you.

Martorana · 07/05/2014 18:52

Don't worry, when you whisk him off to private school when he's 7, I'm sure they will appreciate his leadership qualities and dynamism...........

ipadquietly · 07/05/2014 19:00

Please don't pull the only child card. There are plenty of only children who are actually quite well-behaved, non-disruptive, empathetic and sharing.

Makes my blood boil.

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain · 07/05/2014 19:09

My only is also well behaved. Its saying things like that which gives others the stereotypes of spoiled only kids.

Please do not say anything.

Also, I cannot believe ye get home visits??!! What is the purpose of this?

NearTheWindymill · 07/05/2014 19:10

The teacher you think might be best for your DC might not be best at all learnt from bitter experience

BetweenDogandWolf · 07/05/2014 19:21

My mum requested a certain teacher for my brother - a scary ex police woman- and got her! That was in the 80s though. Agree talk to the school if you have concerns about your son's behaviour but not to request a certain type of teacher. Also my experience that they put a lot of thought into how they divide the children into classes.

JimBobplusasprog · 07/05/2014 19:52

I was going to jump in and give the op a hard time but I see she's taken the mn feedback on board so well done. We've all done something pfb bonkers once in our lives, particularly when our little ones start school :)

IsItMeOr · 07/05/2014 19:59

From my experience, I would stick with talking honestly about your DS's behaviour at the home visit.

There were lots of kids who had to do an adjustment in their behaviour when they started reception. Most are getting there fine. If your school is as good as it sounds, they will be there to support you if you/they need to do anything extra for your DS.

spanieleyes · 07/05/2014 20:39

You can select the teacher as long as I can select the pupils

Otherwise, I think we both need to make the most of what we get!!

mammadiggingdeep · 07/05/2014 20:54

No, no, and thrice no!!

Every teacher should be able to handle him. Not sure what you mean by 'old school type' either really.

Nennypops · 07/05/2014 21:00

Why assume that 'traditional' teachers are the only sort who will be able to control ds? In many ways he may be better off with a non-traditional teacher - certainly some of the best disciplinarians I know have been dynamic and non-traditional.

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