Really?? Very clever September-born and no school for another 1.5 years

[Lawnmumma]

My son aged 3 years and 7 months has been identified as extremely bright by nursery teachers and all who know him. He turns 4 in September and so just misses the cut-off to start school this year. I am gutted for him that his friends will all be moving on, and also that he cannot start school despite clearly being ready. He is mature for his age - socially confident and very articulate - and happily learning at nursery to read and write - but will effectively be waiting another year and a half before starting reception. Some of his academic year peers are barely talking, still in nappies etc and it is absurd when we have 'play dates' with them. I've met with the head at the local primary who said that all they can do is differentiate class work - but that with 32 in a class this isn't always the reality even with teaching assistants around. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do to help my boy? I've gone round the local private school but the fees rule this out. I've canvassed friends and family who suggested writing to our local politician but I'm skeptical of this resulting in anything useful. Ultimately of course my son's happiness is the most important thing. I do think this requires being stimulated by his contemporaries and surroundings, though, and gainfully occupied (being taught letters/phonics after having been reading for a year and a half???)... It is hard to write this post without coming across as a precocious parent. My parents were too self-absorbed to ever think about my education so when I landed at Cambridge University I had the raw talent but was seriously 'underpolished' and could have had a smoother ride had I been stretched appropriately previously (and of course, not been advised incorrectly by my sixth form college that Discrete Mathematics was an appropriate module when in fact Statistics was required. But that's another story). I want to prevent history repeating itself. Thanks, in hope, for reading - from a novice poster.

I take it you don't have many play dates then! Your poor child having to be surrounded by incontinent illiterate friends

inthesark

Can only speak for Birmngham - and by no means an ideal LEA (as I'm certain many have spotted in the news or can surmise by my railing against poorly performing schools/ teachers) - but G&T registers do exist at least here.

Very talented girl in my DDs class has to miss school a lot because she is on a national junior squad and so good she'll soon be moved to a senior squad in her sport. These absences were recorded as approved but not educational and the parent basically had to research her rights and get in a lawyer but did get the child registered G&T and all absences approved. In addition, the school was forced to provide any worksheets and a brief summary of lessons missed (her parent is a teacher and fully capable of tutoring her for lost lesson time).

So I think it does take a bulshy attitude - but G&T does still exist.

There's a famous story in DH's family about a very similar small child, the dad was furious because the boy wasn't allowed to start school early.

The boy turned out fine, he enjoyed school and even made lots of friends. Now approaching 50yo. Some things never change.

My son is very able academically and is a mid year child. Prior to school he had no interest in engaging with other children. He has improved wonderfully this year but will probably not meet his eyfs targets for social skills. Some of our mums/babies peer group shunned us because he was "different"/withdrawn which is upsetting especially when he is ahead of those children in other respects. I suppose i am saying to teach your son to.be kind and expect things to even out or change in ways you dont expect!

Also if you are a stay at home parent could you consider homeschooling? You go at your child's pace (google autonomous learning) led by them and social activities come via other homeschooling families. We looked into it (and may do it for secondary) but it isnt practical for working parents.

Good luck

I wonder why the HT the OP spoke to sounded so negative about differentiating lessons, and why she felt that differentiation doesn't happen in full classes.
I thought that differentiation was the standard way of teaching in most primary schools.
Perhaps there is an issue with that particular school, it might be worth visiting other schools who may have a more positive and constructive approach to the OPs questions.

One point to note is that a child that appears to be G&T at the age of 2, 3, 4 (in fact any age really) can be overtaken at any point by their peers.

I do know that there was a DC in my sons class who appeared very bright compared to the rest of the children in the class (best at reading, writing, maths and sports) and certainly his mum had numerous discussions with the school regarding their DCs educational provision. My DC didn't appear to be anything more than a middle/good performer and I accepted that.

The class did their yr 2 SATs and the majority of the children gained level 3 (the school did not test/rank higher than this).

At the start of yr 3 all children were assessed during the first week. A very small number were given further assessments the following week. My son was one of those who did the additional assessments. The parents, as far as I can tell, accepted that this was standard practice at the school and left it at that.

Later in the year came the parents consultations. I was informed that my DC had been assessed at level 4b for maths and 4c for English at the start of the academic year and had been placed on the G&T register.

Interestingly the mother of the DC who had appeared quite advanced in yr 1 said that she was a bit annoyed with the school as she felt they had lead her to believe that her son was much brighter than he now appeared to be. She felt they had "talked him up" too much. I felt this was interesting as the school had never suggested to me that my DC was anything more than average/good in performance.

SATs assessments are done every year at my DCs school and the G&T register changed accordingly.

My DC was assessed as level 5 for maths and level 4a for english in January (yr 4). However, I am not kidding myself for one minute that his performance will not plateau out at any time and other children may overtake him academically.

I have never felt the need to approach the school to discuss his provision. I do know that he does extra literacy this year and last year did advanced maths. My DC thoroughly enjoys going to school and is very happy there. I think this contributes greatly to his academic performance as he sees the learning process as enjoyable rather than a chore.

I appreciate that not all schools are as effective in nurturing the academic potential of children but it is important to allow they time to do this before stepping in.

I think this is quite an offensive post. Putting down dcs who are still in nappies and not talking properly is just plain nasty.

A dc being bright is hardly unusual. The time difference if your ds went to school this September rather than next year is only a year. Calculating it from now is a bit silly since the dcs going in September haven't even started school.

I think you need to get over the fact you were given the wrong information at school. Holding onto a grudge for so long isn't healthy.

I thought a bright person would know that they could educate their dc at home if they wanted to. Sometimes the solution is very straightforward.

On the other hand childhood is precious. Let your ds be a child and have fun for the year.

I have thought about this post quite a bit. I love how the OP manages to shoe horn in her opening post that she went to Cambridge. And the relevance to your concern about your September born son is what exactly?

I think you think that your scenario is somehow special. OP, it's not. It really isn't. Many people have been to Cambridge. Many people have bright children. Many people have September born bright children, Many people have bright preschoolers that peak early, and many have children that don't get in to the swing of it until they are 8/9/10. You thinking that your situation is special and different, is setting yourself and your son up for disappointment. Chill out. Don't read in to stuff so much, he asks what pesto and the big hand is? No biggie! My boy honestly asked those questions when he was 2! (I didn't go to Cambridge though. So I struggled to answer)

Exactly Enjoying.

I think thread is a whole is jumping the gun a tad re the G&T thing.

He.is.3!

There are hoards of bright 3 year olds born in the Autumn months(and later months).

Re the pesto.He sounds like your normal sparky 3 year old.3 year olds ask questions a lot.They all do.

My school has a Foundation Stage Unit where nursery and reception children are taught together - two teachers mean they are taught in stages not ages. Many schools work this way.

Great post Northernlurker You have encapsulated everything I would want to say.

I have 2 dd's who are opposite ends of the school year. R started primary last September as she turned 5. She had been in a private nursery 3 mornings a week before then as I didn't want too much upheaveal and we weren't sure where she would go to school. Also it meant we had 2 full days free in which we could access swimming, museums, and days out to enjoy time with her.
She started well and is fitting in brilliantly. Sure she struggles with her
reading but that is getting better the more she reads. Her writing is not spectacular but she is only 5 and again it is getting better
At 5 I don't really care about the academic side of things. She is going to spend at least 6 years with these children and a happy social child will feel secure and then the learning happens.

L starts school this September and she will have just turned 4. I feel it is way too early for her to be in school all day long. She is exhausted by nursery as it is. She is probably at the same level as R was when she started despite starting a year earlier so I know she should be ready academically. A lot of this is her willingness to do 'homework' with R.
I feel lost that I will miss that year with her where we could go and do the things I did with R.

Don't be in a rush to shoo him off to school. He can learn so much by being with you rather then in a class with 29 other children. Push him hard now and he may burn out before he is at secondary school

Thank you for saying that Tiggytape about no child being a year behind. As a parent of August and September-born DCs it really annoys me when other parents assume that one of my children has a whole year advantage whilst the other must be less able as they are a whole year younger. It is all I can do not to blurt out that at most they would only be 49.7% younger/older than the average (if they were born on August 31st/September 1st).

And as it happens, off the top of my head, the 'top ability table' in each of their classes has a couple summer birthdays, including August - but I only know the birthdays of the children who have invited mine to parties - I haven't made a spreadsheet of the respective tables and birthdays!

Right then. I speak as another parent who had very hands off parents and also landed in Cambridge very ill prepared.
Like you, I then attempted to be more proactive for my own son so the same thing didn't happen to him...
I can now say, from my brief experience of doing this, that there is a lot to be said for laissez faire parenting and had I a younger child I would be laying right off for now, and not even think of intervening until he showed signs of profound boredom or switching off.

My problem has been this:

I kept on predicting what might happen if my son was bored. In fact, my son wasn't in the least bit bored at nursery. He loved it. He wasn't bored in reception either. He loved it and was sufficiently entertained by doing art, and reading with me at home. The teachers were perfectly able to differentiate, and I'm talking very standard primary school. They might have been able to do a better job, but they didn't do a bad job and he was generally absolutely fine.

Unfortunately, so scared was I of this mythical boredom that I moved my son into an environment that I thought would be less boring and he ended up being... more under stimulated than before. The non academic chaos of our local school suited him, and also gave him room to think and explore (just by dint of not being micromanaged in a homework heavy private school way).

My suggestion is don't worry yet. You say he is happy. Focus on that. As long as there are books lying around the nursery he can pick them up. All he needs is one other child to play with and he'll be fine. My son had loads of friends, including little weeny ones who couldn't talk as well as he could. He could get on with all sorts of people and still can.

Honestly, I would relax and don't do what I did and be so focussed on yourpast that you are cannot see your child's present clearly.

If any of my friends saw me type this they would snort at the irony. But I have belatedly learned my lesson.

How can one work out at the age of 3 that their child is bright? When DD started school at lot of those very bright ones in the early years were not necessarily the brightest ones a few years down the line. There has to be a cut if date somewhere. I think a 3 year old should be a 3 year old, they have to grow up fast enough as it is.