things like you should be really worried your son failed the phonics check, I think this needlessly worrying parents.
For those of us who are experienced in the teaching of reading to children in schools this is quite problematic. We don't want to scare people but we know that a child who fails to reach the standard in the phonics check most likely fails to do so because there is a problem with the teaching of phonics at their school.
A child might be slower to learn but in a good school this will have been picked up way back in Reception and they will have been given extra support to keep them up with their peers; no reason there to fail to meet the standard. If a child hasn't been identified early on as needing extra support then there is either no problem with the child, or, the school just isn't on board with the effectiveness of phonics instruction and clings to the notion that children will 'get it' in their own good time, or, it has low expectations of what children can learn.
If the child is apparently 'normal' why haven't they managed to learn the correspondences used in the Check? They have had two years of reading instruction.
It helps to understand that the correspondences used in the Check have been chosen on the basis of examination of 6 phonics programmes. The correspondences are all those which should have been taught in those programmes by the time the Phonics Check takes place. Any correspondences which haven't been covered in all the programmes are not used.
Most of these programmes were developed by teachers so you will, I'm sure, appreciate that years of classroom experience of teaching children to read with phonics has given them a pretty good idea of how much children can learn in two years. There is nothing wildly unrealistic about the expectations these programmes have, of what children should have learned in that time, because they are based on solid classroom experience.
So, if a school hasn't managed to teach a 'normal' child what is perfectly achievable in 2 years, or, if they have failed to identify a struggling child and given it appropriate support to enable it to keep up with the rest of the class, it is worrying.
I speak from the perspective of someone who worked with struggling readers at KS3. You have no idea of the damage that difficullty with reading does to children, not only to their educational chances but also to their self image and confidence. Not to mention that they never develop the desirable 'love of reading' which people bang on about...
Reading is not a 'developmental' process; it is completely unnatural and has to be taught. Children's success is, in the main, dependent on the quality of the teaching they get. We can't keep this secret from parents just in case we worry them! Or can we? If parents' worry (or the Phonics Check results) can galvanise a school into improving its teaching it is to the benefit of not only their child, but also other peoples'. If the school won't change at least parents are aware that there are problems and can do something about it; either private tutoring or DIY help.