Calling all mums who send their children to top private prep schools what do they teach compared to state school and more advice needed!

[Beige1]

Hi

Please can you tell me what do they exactly teach children in top private preps compared to state schools? My DS is 3 years old and wondering weather it's worth scrimping and saving to send him to a private prep

On the other hand, is it better to send to good state school and just try to teach at home/ get a private tutor. If so what do I have to make sure I teach him

Ultimately, I would like to try and get him into a grammar school.

Really clueless about all this.

Thanks

Hi missfitless. Yes- the plan is for both my girls to attend an all girls school the whole way through. My eldest is doing brilliantly (not academic, but very happy and getting more and more confident). I know single sex can be quite controversial, but having listened to a lecture from professor Leonard Sax, and education expert, I am quite happy with this decision for now anyway.

Thanks for replying to me, Scarlettsmummy2.

That sounds interesting. I'll google Leonard Sax.

He has books on raising girls and boys on amazon.

op this subject really interests me too.

There was suggestion on another thread that standards are woefully low - rather the bar is set low...I have no idea on this as its all new to me.

However, a friend whose child is in private...is 100% being prepared for scholarship and or grammer or selective schools.

So, I suppose as parents are paying, they want results and therefore....there is no setting bars low, they have to go as high as possible or else the school wont get any business any more.

They also don't do the verbal/non-verbal reasoning tests that DD has been drilled in since Y2, which I believe form a large part of the 11+ exam (correct me if I'm wrong!)

wow.

Thats amazing.

When I was at prep school twenty five years ago we were also doing verbal reasoning assessments from very young, and friends at state schools had never heard of 'Bristol tests', I remember vividly thinking this was very strange.

MerlinFromCamelot

How did you teach DD French before secondary? Just interested to know how you did it as I wouldn't know where to begin. Also what out of school activities would you suggest and what things do you suggest can be done at home?

beige- there is a MNer that is male, but cannot remember his name... but he is bringing his child (children?) up bilingually Fr/Eng, but doesn't have french mother tongue. I'm sure he'd give you some pointers ... if anyone can remember his name!

Hansolo

I guess I'm looking for my son to have opposite experience I had. I want my son to perform to the highest of his ability. I went to state schools and I just was not academic. However, I think if I had attention to help me with the skills I had I could have been better i.e. performed to the best of my ability. I want the education to build a strong foundation in the basics reading, writing, maths and then other subjects. I don't think my schools were strong in those and I have been playing catch up ever since. The basics I did learn was because I learnt them at home.

Maybe state schools have improved since my time. I just didn't have a great experience hence why I am trying to look at all options for my son.

beige have you read your messages?

Thanks Neverknowinglyunderstood I was just going to PM you on your reply.... I'm a bit slow at typing

Beige1

In the same way as we learnt to write to start out with. I used to put post it notes around the house with the name of the object on it. That way she got the basic around the house vocabulary under her belt. Then we started with simple everyday sentences such as; time to go to school, I would like a drink, I'm hungry etc... It is amazing how quickly you can start basic conversation! Until recently, mainly because of Dd2 we had a rule that between 5&6pm only French is spoken at home. Also bought children's books in French which we translated and read together.. My DDs also go to a friend of mine who has children of a similar age who don't speak much English so they have no choice but to speak French, that is during the holidays. I think the trick is little but often... Starting with basic but useful vocabulary. No point learning words they can not use... My children used to dig in their heels at first but once they could start making simple sentences by themselves they started to enjoy French. Also local adult education centres often have parent and child French which I have not used myself but it may be a good option. Dd2 (10) is coming along nicely too.

If you are solely looking at grammar schools you will need to talk to the school head as to their policy on the 11 plus .for example ds 10 is in a non selective prep school that does not prepare for the 11plus and does not encourage it due to most boys finishing at 13 to go to senior schools. So if we were looking at that option we wd need to tutor as well as school fees , however there is a sweet local prep school that finishes at age 11 which has 90 percent admissions to the local grammars not bad for non selective. Also as i do you have a boy so most preps will finish at 13 so in my experiance the headmaster will not be encouraging the parents to sit the 11 plus due to pupil retention. also beaware that when ds started pre prep there were three of us who were going to take the 11 plus now none of us are due to the exposure of being in a fantastic prep school and wanting to keep in the independant sector.

I don't think my schools were strong in those and I have been playing catch up ever since. The basics I did learn was because I learnt them at home

I am the same, I am still in catch up, my DD is so young and I am struggling to help her. I have no grammer either.

i am almost crippled with fear that my DC will like me never ever reach their potential! all schools round us are failing and I see the pupils and I do not want that for my DC.

Well... it depends where you are (and whether those are 'ordinary' grammars, or super-selectives).

You could look for a 'traditional', one-form intake village type primary, that would be strong in the basics, and have traditional values, the type that all the village children attend (as there is no other choice), but all do well.

We don't live in that type of area, so we went down the fee-paying route.

However, "strong foundation in the basics reading, writing, maths and then other subjects" are not just a product of schooling. These are things which are laid down from birth, in the home environment. I have had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at parents at the schoolgate who think that buying their reception-aged child the entire Oxford Reading Tree series can somehow make up for the first 5 years of life in which they never read to or with their child!

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM

Really struggling too as I'm trying to find out what I should have learnt to help my son and then learning whatever it is to encourage him too. Hope that makes sense.

Yes, perfect sense, double hindered.

In fact its only since having dc, and trying to help and keep an eye, and being almost out of my depth in Maths and English at age 6 ( her ) that I feel so furious about my own education.

this is also why I want to keep hawk eye on whats going on with her.

The post yesterday about how parents in state schools do not realise what a low bar is being set for our DC has deeply shocked me.

Idrather- could you link the thread, please? I didn't see that discussion...

Sorry Hansolo, greater London area. I want to help my son at home with basics just not sure how to. Any suggestions what I can do? Currently I do try to encourage him to pick books so I can read to him couple of times a week. I tried for many months to teach him phonics but he is not interested so will leave a bit and try again.

After my experience of one through preprep, prep and public school, one through pre prep, prep then grammar, one though state infants, prep then grammar and the rest all the way through state except for one who went to grammar. I would say don't pay for pre prep.
IMO pre prep is a waste of money. Up until prep they receive the same education and I think preprep kids are too stressed about learning for their age. As well as this I think the three years in a state infants helps kids develop more socially and allows them to understand that not everything is about them. Something my 2 who went to preprep didn't grasp until later.
If you are going to pay start at prep and this should be sufficient. I got to the stage where I realised paying for preprep wasn't worth it. I then got to the stage that paying for prep wasn't worth it unless you want a top public school.
Please be aware that prep schools do not coach for grammars. They coach for the common entrance. If you went prep you would still need to do the extra work for 11+.
I have known kids go onto grammar without having any tuition or going to a prep (one of mine included) and I feel they did much better then those who have been coached.
However, please choose based on your dc. What suites one kid doesn't suite another. Even with private education you have to have them engaged and supported at home if you want them to succeed.

Some prep schools coach for grammars. A 13+ school usually won't but a 11+ one should.

Northerner7777, Parsley1234

I just assumed all preps help prepare for grammar school admission

Parsley1234
Oh I didn't think of that, the possibility of keeping him in an independent as an option

Do you have plenty of books in your home? Access to a library? Do you and his father read (sorry- I'm assuming you're his mother!), and does he see this? Do you read to him every day, share books with him?
Do you have things such as alphabet/number posters/friezes in the rooms he plays in? Do you talk to him about what you're doing? (e.g. this is how we make xyz meal, now we have to weigh x, we're out of y so we need to buy that next time we shop, this is the order we do laundry, this is money, we use it to pay for things, etc etc)
Do you play word games with him, play mimicing games? Count things together? play simple card games, 'orchard games' type games (the dinosaur game, ladybird game, and spotty dogs are all good).

Thanks HanSolo

You've raised some great points that I didn't even think of. For example, I'm reading to him but most of the time he doesn't see me read as I read after he's gone to bed.

Hi OP.

My DC attended a really high achieving prep and are now big fat teens ensconced in secondary school .

TBF I didn't choose their prep with much in mind other than it was close and had a wonderful setting and seemed super-friendly etc.

In retrospect, I can now see what made it a trully outstanding school.

Large intake, small class sizes.
Lots of staff. Lots of one-to-one work.
Proper meaningful MFL.
Latin.
Proper setting from year 3/4 (not tables).
Specialist subject teachers in all subjects from year 3/4.
Excellent facilities; art studios, labs, music rooms etc etc.
High academic expectations.
High expectations of parental support.
Homework.
Exams from year 4.
Daily sport.
Zero tolerence on discipline.