Taking dd out 1 afternoon/week

[LalaDipsey]

I had forgotten, during the endless last term, how beautifully happy and loving and happy dd (4) is! School has turned her into a tantrumming screaming nightmare a lot of the time as she has been shattered . We don't do any other after school or weekend activities so I don't have those to stop. What I would really like to do is pick her up at lunchtime on a Wednesday for the next term until she legally has to be there the following term (July birthday).
I feel that I know my dd best and she is just sooo young for 8.45-3.15 5 days a week.
What do you reckon my chances are of getting the hm to agree??!!

I don't quite understand how an afternoon off school helps with tiredness unless they are going to sleep for that afternoon. I think you need to look at other solutions like bed time and what it's like when she gets home from school.

It would be unfortunate if she felt left out because everyone else was doing something fun at school and she was being taken home early when she'd rather stay. That doesn't necessarily make resting the wrong thing for her.

My seven year old is more tired than most kids her age. Sometimes she has to miss out on fun stuff in order to keep on an even keel. In the summertime the neighbour kids are out playing long after she is in bed. When we meet friends for swimming, we generally leave before the others; experience has taught me that stopping before the meltdown is best. I know she does mind mssing the fun, but that is life. She is happier overall for being well rested. After all, a chronically overtired child is missing out on fun too, in a different way: she's ratty with her friends and frustrated with her toys, and feels the whole world is against her.

This is a decision which a parent has to make based on what she knows of her own child.

LalaDipsey you need to speak to the head if you feel that one afternoon a week will make a difference and they may agree to mark your child as being educated off site.

I'm shocked by ExcuseTypos's post as all schools are subject to strict attendance requirements (98%) and regular absenses can bring down the full wrath of OFSTED so not something schools can encourage/condone in the present political climate.

Many schools did have staggered entry with reception children attending half days initially but this now has implications on funding as the law gives parents the right to full time education from the beginning of the school year the child will turn 5. It seems those parents who want their child in school early shout louder and the government listen (after all school is free childcare ).

When parents acquired the right to full time education from the September when the pupil is 4, they also acquired (for the first time) the right to defer to any point in the Reception year. So not just about getting 'em in full time early. More about parental choice (within yearR) about when to start, though starting full time is important to families where both parents work - after all, doesn't everyone want the new pupil beginning well? Not in a part-time pattern they won't have had before, won't have again and may require unfamiliar temporary childcare just when they are coping with a lot new at school too.

There is also a right to request part-time, but unlike deferring this can be refused.

Unfortunately that is no longer possible, mrz. Last year DfE decreed that the code for off-site education is not to be used where the school has agreed for a child to be educated at home by the parent part-time. In such a case the child must be marked absent (with leave, presumably). This does make it an unattractive proposition for schools, who are now between a rock and a hard place and may feel unable to condone time off even when they know it is what the child needs.

www.education.gov.uk/schools/pupilsupport/behaviour/attendance/a00223239/clarification-on-flexi-schooling

My dd only attended part time until she had to be in school.I wouldn't say the school were particularly happy, the HT gave me dire warnings how I was damagin

My dd only attended part time until she had to be in school.I wouldn't say the school were particularly happy, the HT gave me dire warnings how I was damaging her education, but I had the backing of the LEA (dd has a statement so part time attendance saved them money) so the school sucked it up.
I have no idea how her attendance or non attendance was marked, I assumed that she was marked on her attendance on the agreed days, if she was marked on full time attendance then her 50% (and initially less) attendance drew no action anyway
The warnings from the HT proved meaningless and based on the experience of another child as it was dd left EYFS more able than her peers.

Just out if interest, what time does your dd get to bed and if she is a good sleeper?

Children do get very tired at school, even in year 6 their performance and concentration trails off in the afternoon and by Friday afternoon they're very ready for 2 days off.

but Mr Gove thinks parents want 51 weeks until 6pm

LaLaDipsey - have you looked at your dd's diet to see of there are things you could do to boost her energy levels?

Maybe she needs more protein and complex carbs than she is currently getting? I don't know what she has for breakfast or lunch, but maybe you need to cut back on foods that give a quick burst of energy that goes as quickly as it arrives, letting her energy levels crash (might contribute to sleepiness in the afternoon).

Is she drinking enough water during the school day? I believe I've read that not drinking enough can cause energy levels to dip.

Of course, you might already be doing all this - in which case my apologies.

Hmm thought I'd posted this link already but it doesn't seem to have appeared. While schools do now count attendance for under 5s there is still no legal sanction for them to actually go every day and it appears that the reception, or at least the under 5s, are counted separately from the rest of the school figures.

www.theguardian.com/education/2012/apr/16/truancy-crackdown-include-children-aged-four

You can do this until she starts year 1. I've taught Reception children who had Wed PM at home all year as that's what they do in some places abroad.

You should do it for these last 2 terms while you have the chance.

Legally your dc does not have to attend until the term she is 5, so you are perfectly entitled to keep your dd off school one / two / three etc afternoons a week until she reaches the statutory school age. The HT might not like it, but frankly, there is nothing he can do about it.

When my ds started school, the head of reception was clear that if a parent felt their dc needed to go part time until statutory schooling age, that was absolutely fine.

My end-of-Aug-born DD was very tired after school (still is now 8 years old). I would give her tea at 4pm and bath at 5pm and bed at 6pm. Instead she gets up early in the morning around 5:30 so we get to do things together like some games or reading before school.
It did not occur to me to take time off school and I would have been tempted. However my DD has loved the school and did not want to miss anything. It do miss her during the school terms but she is happy and learning, so..

I'm December born and I'm ready for bed by 6pm on school nights

I would talk to the teacher about it and try and see what she thinks. It may be that in school she is really happy and most of the time not too tired, and it is just when she is home that she is knackered and still getting into the swing of things.
It may be that next term she copes better, it might be worth waiting two or three weeks to see.
My DD came home at lunchtime on Wednesdays until Christmas as that was the 'norm' at her school (it was optional, some children stayed and did relaxed play), BUT that was firstly 17 years ago and secondly an independent school. It definitely helped her a lot though, she just came home and relaxed and restored her energy for the last two days of the week.

It has been a very long first term

Speak to the school n do it. 1 afternoon may not be a lot but may make a hell of a difference to ur lo.

Ignore the other people, I'm sure if ur lo did feel left out or different to the others u would reassess the situation.

My LG is no where near school age but I think I would like her to do reception part time as I only work part n would like to do day trips n outgoings with her which are educational but too busy on a weekend. N also do child initated learning at home.

Also I as an adult I am a napper n find it odd we make children work/ go so long without a nap.

I am speaking as someone who sent my child to school part time for the whole of reception. It made zero negative impact on his education and on his social life and caused zero disruption according to 1) his teacher and 2) .

My son went part time three days a week until the term after he turned five (the summer term). He was able to do this with the agreement of the head because attendance statistics for those under five do not count towards the OFSTED required attendance statistics.

I was able to send him part time for the summer term also as it was the last year in which a child could be flexi-schooled and have it 1) marked as educated off site (so did not affect attendance statistics) and 2) it was mid term so did not affect funding. Again the head saw no problem with this, and nor did I. I wish that this were still in place, and regret the way flexi-schooling has been muscled out by the requirement that the child is now marked as absent.

It's true my son was not the only child to be exhausted at the end of a three or four day week. But that is not a reason to keep him in an exhausting system. If anything, it's a good reason to reform the system. I felt keeping him in school full time under these circumstances was counter productive. Also I wanted to spend time with him as I feel that four is ludicrously young to put a child into compulsory education. We didn't do school work on our days off; we just had fun, or had day trips or played or went to classes or hung around the house.

Your head might not mind if you point out that 1) you do not think that it is in your child's best interest to stay in school full time 2) you say you will send him full time the term after he turns five 3) offer to review the situation if the school feels he is 'falling behind' 4) point out it will not affect the school's attendance statistics and 5) say you will not advertise it in case they are worried lots of parents will want to do the same (in my experience, lots of parents won't as it is quite hard to be flexible with days if you are a working mother or father). Also 6) let the school choose the times that your son is absent (e.g. two afternoons a week rather than one school day, in case they do literacy and numeracy in the mornings).

I hope you get the outcome that you want.

That 2) in the first line, should have said 'me'!

Wow you really have been given a hard time by some.

Absolutely, reduce her hours until she is 5. They are a long time at school and missing an afternoon or a day is really not going to affect her social development - as some have strangely suggested.

The school setting is hugely different to nursery or pre school. There are completely different expectations of the children once they start school.

For me to have a formal rather than a flexible agreement with school means there would be less chance of your daughter thinking she can have a day off if she is tired once she goes up to Year 1. Although I think as long as it is explained to her that when she is 4 she doesn't have to be there everyday but once she is 5 she does have to be this shouldn't really be a problem.

I absolutely think you are right in your thinking about what is best for your daughter and I'm sorry you have been given such a hard time on here. I know I'd rather have a parent who was able to look at my individual needs rather than just fitting into the system.

Wow thanks for your replies.

Dd wakes between 7&8. I wake her at 8 on a school day if she's not up but leave her if it's not school. Occasionally she will sleep til 8.30 at a weekend but it is hard for her to lie-in once the twins are up & about. They tend to wake about 7 and I can keep them quiet for about half an hour.
After school she does nothing! She's really tired and just wants to go on the sofa under a blanket and have a snack and watch tv.
On a Wednesday afternoon it would just be quiet. Not school. I think the suggestions to see which times off school would suit best are good ones. I thought Wednesday as it's midweek and might re-charge her for the last two days but you're right - this could mean she misses something.
I see that this upcoming term is shorter and the last term was seemingly unending long and hectic with Christmas. Seeing her now I wish this had occurred to me earlier. I'm going to try it rather than see how this term goes I think. As a couple have pointed out there's not too much longer I'll have the option to do that for and whilst she may manage this term better as it's shorted I'd still rather prevent than cure.

I think that sounds very sensible. Good luck - one would hope that school would be encouraged by a parent that actually wants to spend more time with their child!

Move to Scotland! I've always thought the English school hours are a bit sadistic. Here at aged 4 children attend school nursery for 2.5 hours per day(unless in private nursery). At age 5 school hours are 8.50am-2.40pm with half days on a Friday until age 7 when they are in until 3.15pm with half days on a Friday.
No way would ds have coped with full days at age 4, he was still napping most days! I've read lots of posts like yours complaining of exhausted reception age children, i personally think 4 is just too young for full time education and can't see any benefit to it (other than childcare for working parents).

In Scotland here too - both my DDs started school at 4 ...not 5 until Feb - and as I said before both were fine...
DD1 did go full time nursery from 3 months so it wasn't a big deal for her but I was a SAHM for DD2 -she went from 2.5hrs Nursery to school at from 4yr 6months...no problems (but like I said I wouldn't wake either of them in the morning!)