School friends from deprived families

[poppytin]

DS1 just started reception in September. We didn’t get our first choice of school which could be seen from our house due to oversubscription and sibling rule. DS1 now goes to second choice school which is in a more deprived area although the school has performed rather well and been improving. We’re 7th on the waiting list for first choice school which has very low turnover so chances of getting in are pretty slim. I have no issue with the school as given its circumstances ie high FSM and SEN its performance is very good. However I can’t seem to make myself like the families of the children there. At the school gate I’ve met people in their pyjamas, with cigarettes on their fingers, piercings on etc. I’ve seen people shouting/swearing at each other in the playground while waiting for their children. DS was invited to a birthday party of one of the boys in his class and it was the worst house I’ve ever set foot in. Mom was in nightie with a cig on when we arrived at mid day. DS1 appears to be academic, loves reading and writing, both DH and I have masters from redbrick units and are in professional jobs, our house is walled with books and CDs.

DS loves his school and teachers which is the main reason I’m using to calm me down. However I worry whether the environment where his friends grow in would have an impact on him and his education.

Any opinions?

Calamitous if the OP had not mentioned FSM and deprivation, but had gone on to talk about pyjamas, tattoos, swearing, arguing and smoking in the playground, do you think the thread would have gone any differently?

your child will do well wherever they go if you parents them well and give them the right attitude.

Sadly it seems your red brick degree won't help you on this one.

I could tell you stories about my DSs nice middle class friends that would make your hair curl.

And not just one or two of them either.

starlight disadvantage is caused bya comples and slippery mixture of things.

Social policy is one of them.
As is having all ambition/expectation/hope sucked from an area.

Your peer group is NOT everything. I can't emphasise enough how much fun I had with the children of parents with "cigarettes on their fingers" and who would be drinking lager at 10am in their pj's while we booted footballs in the street outside, and have turned out alright enough for MN.

Parental influence counts for so much more.

And yodiggity, were you arguing with yourself up thread?

Well I could do that too usual but the thing is, as a general rule, kids from backgrounds that are not considered deprived will have their wild moments, but tend to turn out ok in the end, bar the odd handful whereas kids from 'deprived' backgrounds may do well, but the odds are stacked massively against them and their chances are much, much lower.
And it's not the lack of Jack Wills sweatshirts that makes this happen.

oooops shouldn't have wrote that last word apparently. I'll ask for it to be deleted :/

I think I took umbrage at this sentence the most: "both DH and I have masters from redbrick units and are in professional jobs, our house is walled with books and CDs."

Like she's trying to prove how different her family is.

That's what causes divisions and prejudice in society.

Lol,I'm the child of a fag smoking mammy from scumbag scheme,scumbag school
My house is indeed crammed with books,I'm well qualified and am in a profession
I Had a hoot at primary school and you'll be surprised to hear we didn't all fall into reprobate life

How do you know it was her nightie?

Yes. I think the thread would have gone differently if the OP had asked for advice about parents shouting and fighting in the playground. I think the responses then would have been about how an appointment with the HT was in order.

There isn't really any need to comment on the fact that she doesn't like what the parents wear or the fact that they smoke or the fact that they're poor(er than the OP) or that the OP would have preferred as 'naice middle class' school. And no one actually believes the bit about the party with the nighty.

Was it a primark nightlife?

Line,you're so below stairs,obviously op with masters and house rammed wi books knows a nightie when she sees one,how else us she to know the lower orders

You sound like a snob ive nothing else to say

Or nightie ,I don't think primark have a nightclub

Fortunately we never had this at my primary school we were all scheme weans

OP come back and discribe the nightie.

I want some embellishment of nicotine faggy hands,dubious stains on nightie

Maybe she's to busy disinfecting her DS,though.

Maybe the nightie was unrecognisable as a proper item of clothing...it would have been Primarni rather than Boden.