Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

Re milk yes you can go wrong and give too much.

The school isn't tell the OP what is best for her child just what the school rules are. If there was a genuine medical reason why the OPs son could not drink water the school would accommodate it but there isn't a medical reason just a preference.

www.education.gov.uk/complexneeds/modules/Module-4.2-Safeguarding---privacy,-dignity-and-personal-care/B/downloads/m14p090b/wicis_booklet.pdf

i read in the times the other day that the "8 glasses of water per day" thing is nonsense as apparently you get most of that from food and don't need to actually drink that much. and that in terms of keeping you hydrated, tea/coffee/squash is as effective as plain water (though whether you want the extra calories/caffeine is a separate issue). a couple of posters have mentioned this upthread but it doesn't seem to be widely reported/known.

as for the sugar/teeth isue, the state of teeth seems to be largely genetic as far as i can tell. i've got a squash drinking child with perfect teeth, and a water drinking child with perfect teeth, i suspect they are both just lucky to have inherited them from 2 parents who don't have any fillings despite being keen chocolate fans.

So if you have bigger things to worry about, as you've said, why kick up such a fuss at the school?
I'm still failing to see the medical reason for drinking squash.

Also those banging on about kids being dehydrated at school, what are playtimes and lunchtimes for? Kids get 3 breaks a day, plenty of opportunity to rehydrate themselves.

I don't think your child choosing not to drink water is a medical reason, tbh. Any child if indulged will choose not to do something.

Children have access to water in school at all times Tullahulla not just breaks but if they choose not to drink, it seems it is the school's failing

I wish I had invested in a bottled water company back in the 1990s...........

I totally understand the school being arsey on just OP's sayso, just get a doctor's letter that spells out what he needs. Can think of many with similar medical issues at DC school, most recently 2 in reception whom we tried to remember to check had drunk enough at lunch times (but sometimes missed out, and much much harder to monitor a 10yo).
Squash makes such a mess when it's spilt, opens door to all sorts of other unsuitable liquids, just play along. It's not a very big hoop to jump thru.

There must have been a point when he did drink water, as a baby and toddler. When did he first start refusing it? That would have been the best time to phase out the squash. This could have all been sorted out years ago.

Anyway, you can't turn back time so best just to accept that the rule is there and he needs to stick to it.

It's so important at school to have clear rules and enforce them, otherwise it would be chaos. You might be surprised at all the different demands from parents and how much they expect staff to make an exception for their child.

There would be no point in having any rules really.

Why should the school bend their rules because your child is spoiled? Medical reason my backside!

Could you try a Bobble bottle. It has a filter on it so tap water loses the odd taste it can sometimes have. I drink loads of water with one. Straight from the tap I'm less inclined.

I would say that a letter from the dr is the way forward.

I think some of you are being a bit harsh on the op she's just worried and scared . Who wouldn't be when they have to sit and watch their child in pain all the time. Maybe she should've have let her toddler have squash but there's no use in worrying s out that now. He's 10 now that's how it is and she's just trying to buy some time to work around it that's all.

op I hope you can talk some sense in to the head teacher and agree to a plan maybe, where you spend the summer doing your best to encourage your ds to drink more water. And agree to start next term with Water only. Maybe start putting jugs on the table with some ice and mint ir lemon slices. Have it become a mealtime habit for all of you. Pick up some cheap little bottles of mineral water in the fridge so it's permanently available. Even at ten, even the really bright kids, they don't always associated the consequences with the actions, how many of us repeated have to tell our children the same thing over and over and over only for them to spend their time trying to prove you wrong.

I do think you need to cooperate with the school and do this with their backing as from sounds of it they aren't great and I would worry that perhaps their opinion of you would colour how they treat your son. And even though you have the best intentions towards your son, to him it may appear amusing or exciting that mummy is sneaking him squash. I would load him up before and after school.

I wish you luck over the summer that you can tackle this problem and you can encourage the water drinking.

I think you should eliminate squash at home as well, clearly he picked up an unhealthy habit of only drinking sweet and fuzzy drinks at home rather than water. Squash is unhealthy and water is the best and the earlier he learns the better (it's already 10 years late!)

Curlew - we require reusuable bottles which can be filled from water taps (plain old tap water). No pre packaged water on site. You'd not make much from us.

Don't see an issue with very weak juice for all children who want it.
Schools should leave it to parents imho.

I resnt our fat, clearly unhealthy head dictaing what food children can have.

But the doctor is not going to say that they need squash are they?

The main reason they stipulate water only is because sipping anything constantly through out the day (even sugar free squash) will RUIN teeth!

Schools make me so my DD was repeatedly pulled up on the shoes she wore as she has problems with walking. School punished her daily for months, pointing out her disability in front of all her class mates, this lead to her being called a spastic and her self harming. I had the doctor back me up, but as I was paying off my fathers funeral, I couldn't afford the doctors letter and the school wouldn't accept the phone call from doctor.

OP, if you can, get a doctors letter and tell the head, in future do not have meetings with DS without you being present, ofc he will agree with her whilst in a room alone with a head bullying him into agreeing.
Isn't it more important that your DS is in school, well and learning and as some week juice to drink and not home with painful migraines, missing his education!

Btw, I was a water refuser as a child, I would pass out from dehydration regularly. Feel for your dc OP.

Lemon/citrus also isn't a great idea! The water becomes acidic & that acidic water is constantly washing over the teeth. Now & again it is OK, but for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, NOT a good idea!

He will end up with bad teeth if he sips squash/acidic water for a large amount of the time.

Nutty,

I think from the look of it this thread has delved into the regions of 'argue with the OP for the sake of it on any minor point'

I would abandon it

You've done nothing wrong

the school is a shower of arseholes

Take confort in the fact there's only a year left...I have one in y5 too. You are doing nOTHING wrong x

I can empathise with the OP, because I have a Y6 DC with a similar problem - the other way around.

Following campaigns from the children (based, I think on the "we won't drink enough unless we can drink squash" principle), they have jugs of squash on the tables at lunchtime, drinks taken out on to the pitch during matches are squash, drinks provided next to the classroom at break are - you guessed it - squash. OP's DS would love it.

DS will not drink squash. He hates it. He is massively stubborn. He will go without a drink rather than have squash, and ends up dehydrated. Whilst he doesn't get migraines, even slight dehydration drastically affects his mood and he becomes very short tempered. Going a whole 10 hour day without a drink (including 2 hours of sport) is not good.

I know that there are always ways to get water, and I have tried playing the "you have to make the effort" card with him but he is a 10yo boy, and if it's not easy, or makes him different from his friends, then he won't do it. I have tried to tell him to drink the squash anyway, but he just will not. It drives me nuts and I get the "precious parent" from school when I raise it.

So, OP, you have my sympathy.

There must have been a point when he did drink water, as a baby and toddler. When did he first start refusing it? That would have been the best time to phase out the squash. This could have all been sorted out years ago

From BIRTH DD would only have BM. When I started weaning her she refused any other milk or water. She was hospitalised a number of times.

I was advised to give her 'smoothies' in place of milk by the doctors, she drank them with gusto. We slowly diluted the amount of smoothie with water as she got older until she was drinking diluted pure juice. We tried diluting that further - she stopped drinking again and was hospitalised again.

We moved to Cyprus. Pre-school said water or nothing. We tried everything - DD would not budge. We started sending her with 500ml bottles of very diluted squash. It all came to a head when we discovered that Pre-School had been pouring this away and telling her that it was water, or nothing, against our wishes. It turned out that DD had drank nothing for 3 or 4 days in 40 degree heat (we were refusing squash at home, trying to be 'harsh' to force her to drink water, because we thought the Pre-School were following our wishes)

She was hospitalised again this time for 3 days on a fluid drip - the first day she spent mostly unconscious.

DON'T try to tell me that a water refuser will eventually drink it. You have NO idea.

I bet if you gave him a pound every day he managed to drink the entire water bottle he'd hydrate himself pretty quickly.