Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

Not many 10 year olds "like" water!

He's old enough to know that if he doesn't drink water he will get ill.

Tell him to drink the water...to literally suck it up!

I doubt teachers have so much time that they would seek out your child to check his water bottle.

I would really save my righteous indignation for a time when there really is a problem.

I agree that the most difficult point will be to get the doctor's letter to say anything useful: he can clearly argue that dehydration is a medical issue but the squash thing is harder.

Perhaps he could phrase it something like this: "Naturally, the question about squash v water is not a medical issue in the same sense, but given the severity of NutCrackerds's problems and the risk that his education will be compromised through frequent migraine-related absences, I would still, as a medical professional, recommend that he should be allowed weak squash for the time being."

They will read that thing about absences and think "EWO, Ofsted, league tables".

At 10yo he is not old enough to make good decisions about managing his own health.

I'd give him water.

'All the fuss over a cm of squash' works two ways.

Not liking water is not a medical reason. It's a preference.

He's not a toddler. He's old enough to drink water if he is thirsty.

As a teacher I would not want a lot if sticky squash bottles around my classroom.
Squash isn't great for children's teeth and a constant drip feed of sugar can't be that healthy.
If I were you encourage him to drink water and suggest to the school that he leaves some cartons of drink in the office to drink at break times, just as you would do for any other medical issues ( snacks for diabetics etc).

stealth dd is also a squash/juice refuser, she's never drank it and won't even consider tasting it. I had to ask school to allow her access to water because it's squash at lunchtimes etc. They did look a bit because I don't think there are many refuse Dd has got wise now and so takes her own water bottle into the dining room and to sports events rather than having to rely on someone remembering maybe your ds could do the same.

My boys aged 5 and 7 have always had water in their water bottles. If they have ever questioned it which is rare I just say that's why it's called a water bottle. However since starting school (they are in years two and reception) they have both asked if they can have squash in their bottles as other children do. I always say no because what's the point when they have always been happy to drink water. They dromk squash at home sometimes as well as water. Last week I told my reception child that he's not allowed to take squash to school he came out at home time and told me you are allowed to mummy I asked my teacher!

If it was that simple do you not think the op would have done it?

This isn't a child having a strop. This isn't a power trip with a toddler , I'm usually the first to say go cold turkey. I have no problem taking things away. Or dealing with ghe whining and complaining.BUT suggesting that she just takes it away when the result could well be extreme debilitating pain resulting missed school and need for heavy medication (on a still small developing body ) it's not the answer to just take it away. Yeah he may be fine, or he may make himself really sick. It's not us dealing with it. I think some sympathy wouldn't go amiss rather than criticising a decisions he made years ago. No one says to themselves I better not allow squash ever just in case they suffer from migraines and need to drink more Than most people.

insanity, you would think.... I have given him a water bottle (lives in his cricket bag, never gets filled) and suggested he has another in school ("no, I can't, you don't understand anything, no one does that, I'll be fine with no water... ")

Gah. Medium sized boys - who'd have 'em?

On the occasions when I make it watch a cricket match, I take a water bottle with me which he grabs and downs in one

Hi,

I have not read all of the answers, but my opinion is if none is allergic to squash in the school, than it is up to you if you give it to your child or not. You are the mother and you buy the food for your child, you are the one who is responsible for his health.

My son is so tiny and he does not eat well. So I think he needs a bit more sugary and fatty foods (next to healthy foods) than other children to be able to put on weight. So the first time I sent a chocolate pancake into the school with him, he ate it, but told me that they not allowed bringing chocolate in the school. Also I give him brioche with chocolate chips. He told me the same that they are not allowed to bring these types of things to school. I told him if he likes it he can eat it even in the school and if someone tells him off, he needs to tell it to me. Then I will go and ask the school who is paying for my son food me or them? Who is responsible for his health me or them?

I think you do not even need to explain why you prefer squash instead of water, until you won?t risk your child health. And this situation is not a risk at all.

I have the same problem with my DD8 who is susceptible to kidney infections and needs to drink large amounts particularly in hot weather.
The school moaned about it for the same reasons but I said I would send it in an opaque bottle so the others wouldn't know and they were happy with that.

I totally understand your point, just one suggestion, make sure that the squash you use is free of artificial sweeteners such as aspartame as they are linked to migraine. Funny enough, sugar is better after all...

when my DD was in hospital with a kidney infection do you think they insisted she drink water instead of squash?

Can he not have a bottle/carton of juice/juice drink every breaktime, and two in his lunch? And a leetle bit of water the rest of the time?

The other children are not going to complain if it is explained to them why - my ds2 has juice and biscuits in lessontime in school and the entire class of 5yos can tell you it is because his pancreas doesn't work!

Except sugar rots teeth. Can't win.

OP, could you go in for another chat with the head teacher and explain that you want to get DS on side with this but need time to do so, then gradually reduce the concentration of squash in his drink a little bit each week / add extra ice cubes when it's hot etc. until he's eventually drinking pure water?

It would take time though, and school would have to recognisethat you're trying to find a solution to this issue and agree to working with you on it. Could they have a prize for the class where everyone drinks a glass of water each, every lesson, for a week, for example?

I am with rrbji. FFS, this country is NUTS. Parents' choice to have weak squash as far as I am concerned. Pulling kids into the Head's office for having squash in their water bottle? Not surprised this thread is in Primary Education though.... there are always ridiculous responses to any parent that isn't arse kissing the teachers Who Do The Hardest Job In The World who couldn't possibly be expected to . There are always a few. Thankfully most teachers seem more sane than this in RL but the nutters seem to congregate on this board.

I'm a migraine sufferer, have been since age 5. Taken pizotofen and all the rest. Made no difference. I too have to stay hydrated and drink a lot of water. I know another poster said aspartame doesn't cause them, well it does with me. So does yeast Barley egg whites soya and milk! I had years of tracking these foods down and had a food intolerance test done. The test confirmed a lot of what I knew and flagged up some I didn't.

Do consider a food allergy test. Don't do an exclusion diet as they can take months. I lived on chicken rice and veg while I worked some of mine out. The hot weather can do me in, as does the air pressure when it rains! If there's a storm I will get a migraine. I've lost 2 jobs due to the frequency of them so believe me when I say that changing my diet was the best thing ever.

With regards to the school and not drinking water I would say he does need to learn. Dining nothing but squash long term will not help him. If he's agreed with the school to try then support that. Try a compromise with them and try to wean him off the squash if possible. As I've got older my migraines have got worse and I would drink or easy anything to avoid them. Your son will feel the same eventually. Sorry for the long post. I just needed to explain about the food being a major issue for me.

OP your son is old enough to understand he needs to drink water. Rules are there for a reason. Allow one to drink squash and more parents start 'sneaking' it into bottles. It's your job as a parent to say 'tough luck. You need to drink the water to stop you getting a migraine.'

It's a preference for sugary squash not a medical requirement. Sorry while I sympathise that he'd prefer squash you can only claim that the medical requirement is access to something to drink. If he demanded hot chocolate you would send that in? If he needs to stay hydrated then getting him into the habit of drinking water would be a good thing.

For goodness sake. There is so much self righteous smuggery on here.

Not all children do as they are told

If it was that easy don't you think the OP would have already managed to get her child to drink water? DD gets really bad headaches - usually because she hasn't had enough to eat or drink during the school day. I hate seeing her in pain. Fortunately she will drink water, but if she didn't I would go down the squash route as well. She is at high school now so she can get soft drinks in school anyway.

rrbrigi...well done on successfully teaching your child to disobey teachers and that there is no reason to show them respect.

Ridiculous! The benefit of being hydrated and avoiding migraines far outweighs the disadvantages of some weak squash.

Hates water? Who the frig hates water?

I don't hate it as such now, certainly did until the age of about 20. It's still my last resort of a drink.

I'm a frequent migraine sufferer (am currently waiting for Botox on the NHS) and DS1(18)suffered from Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome which turned in to migraines. We drink loads of water. DS1 always has water in his hand, the only 'squash' that he drinks is Ribena and that is very, very infrequently. I drink fizzy water (17p for a 2 litre bottle from Tesco) because I prefer it to still water.

We cut all other squashes out of our diets because they trigger migraines. Oranges are a known trigger too, I can't drink fresh orange. Have you tried keeping a food diary? It is really useful to see what actually triggers them.

It is hellish suffering from migraines, but you do need to help yourself and your DS needs to understand that. DS1 started suffering at a very young age, he knew what he had to do to prevent them. MY DB had migraine as a child triggered by chocolate. From the age of 5 he didn't eat it, and he knew he couldn't have it. Kids do understand when they have to.