Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

[dadditlass]

I had the same problem with my dd, she hates water and suffered from urinary infections. The school wouldn't allow squash. I bought a water bottle from the fly lady website,cost a bit in postage but you can put ice in it and it will stay frozen for about 12 hours even on a hot day. Sometimes I put a jug in the fridge with slices of apple in it or mint and cucumber and she takes that.

[curlew]

"There is recent research ( I'm a nurse) that many primary school age children are in a state of mild dehydration at school and that they are no where near drinking enough ..."

Could you link to that research, please? I thought it had all been debunked now.

[Tullahulla]

Please don't phone the gp and tell them you urgently need a letter, I'd hate to think that someone who really needed the gp urgently was refused an appointment!

You've not really explained it well, your child doesn't need juice due to medical reasons at all. It's all a bit of a hooha over nothing really - he has been advised to drink water because it keeps him from dehydrating and therefore helps to prevent a migraine.
Stop pandering to your kid, teachers have more to worry about than a pupils likes and dislikes, you'll be the talk of the staff room now!

[tiredaftertwo]

Dehydration is a real problem in schools, there is plenty of research about it. It doesn't matter how often people say they must take responsibility, they need to learn etc etc, that won't make them do so - and I am not sure whre these rules come from? At GCSE, some schools make an effort to remind pupils because it affects their grades.

OP, I have a ds who needed to drink plenty for other medical reasons and would not drink enough water (I think maybe being told you have to drink water from an early age puts you off it, and children with ongoing conditions may want to be rebellious or irresponsible just like everyone else occasionally??).

Anyway, I wrote to the HT, updating her on the latest from the hospital, and saying I wanted to encourage my ds to drink more water but in the short to medium term would be grateful if the school would turn a blind eye to very dilute juice in an opaque bottle while we built up the drinking habit, rather than making a fuss and battle over it. She was fine with that, he started to drink more in the day, and gradually switched to water.

I too would not be happy about a medical condition being discussed without me being there, but given it has happened, I would see how he gets on next week.

The pain relief thing is vital - if they really haven't got anyone prepared to administer calpol then they should tell you - otherwise they should do it properly. I would write down exactly what you would like to happen if he develops symptoms and discuss it with them.

[justalilmummy]

Agentprovocateur sorry I have only just seen ur earlier post
Its not a new school, he has been attending the nursery for almost a year, and I abide by all the rules.
However on this occasion I need to put my child's wellbeing first and as he refuses to drink water, I feel it is highly unfair on him to send him to school for 6 hours with just a bottle of water, he will not even take a sip. On a very hot day thats a long time. I dont feel schools have the right to dictate to parents what their child can and cannot drink

[Bunbaker]

"At 10 he's old enough to know that he needs to drink water to stop him becoming ill. Sorry, I'd have no sympathy with my son and I'd just tell him to get on with it, its the rules and its not like they're saying he isn't allowed to drink anything. But obviously I'm a bit harsher with my children than you!"

I'm glad that you can make reluctant children drink water when they would rather not. Not smug or anything are you?

I have met children who would rather suffer raging thirst, constipation and a headache than drink water. I also get the occasional migraine and so does DD. There is no way on earth I would watch her suffer just because I want to force her to drink something she doesn't want.

This is all academic because DD will drink water, but your holier than thou attitude is just ridiculous.

[curlew]

"Dehydration is a real problem in schools, there is plenty of research about it"

Looking forward to seeing it!

[MidniteScribbler]

Your son has agreed with the school to give water a try. You now need to take this opportunity to support them and back it up at home. Perhaps a reward system depending on how much he drinks each day.

I also suggest a slice of lemon or lime or other fruit in the water. I would not allow cordial or juice in my classroom (yuck! Even the most careful child can still have an accident), but I have no problem with a bit of fruit to add a little bit of flavour to the water to encourage students to drink more.

[WhiteBirdBlueSky]

Hates water? Who the frig hates water?

There is no medical need for your DS to drink squash.

[Bunbaker]

"Who the frig hates water?"

I don't hate water, but it is very boring. I don't love water the way I love a cup of tea or a glass of wine for instance.

[MidniteScribbler]

Looking forward to seeing it!

You could just try google. It's not too hard to find:

www.healthybeveragesinchildcare.org/qa/BarDavid2005ActaPaediatrica.pdf

[ChippingInWiredOnCoffee]

He is plenty old enough to know that if he doesn't drink enough he will get a migraine. Drink water or get a migraine his choice.

Stop pandering.

All that squash is bad for him - bad for his teeth, bad for his weight, increases his chance of getting T2 diabetes... need I go on?

Does being too hot affect him? It causes nasty migraines for my young cousin, especially at school in the winter (over heated, fusty classrooms).

[Bunbaker]

I think some of you have never come across a child who won't drink water. Isn't it obvious that just telling them to drink water or suffer doesn't work?

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

Not sure who said it, but i really could not give a flying fuck if i am the talk of the staff room. I care about my child, not what staff think of me.

[Startail]

Bunbaker you are a 100% right

I'm never did work out how the HT proposed getting DD2 to drink water over night when she's been refusing to for 11 years.

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

For those saying I am pandering to my ds, you are quite frankly talking rubbish. There are a million things ds doesn't 'like', going to school being one of them, getting out of bed being another, brushing his teeth, eating his veg, going to bed, limited time on his xbox, I could go on.

I enforce all of the above, daily, so I do not pander to him at all.

What i do not like, is a school telling me what is best for my child, when it is me who has to deal with the fallout, and ds who has to spend time in pain, and vomit.
Ds, myself, and his siblings have bigger worries than him drinking bloody squash each day to stop him getting a migraine.

[MidniteScribbler]

Bunbaker - that's where strategies need to be looked at, even good old fashioned bribery. You can't just say to a child "you don't like wearing sunscreen, so it's ok, the risk of melanoma isn't important, you go ahead and play in the sun for eight hours unprotected." Sometimes, children need to learn that there are things that we have to do for our own good. It's why we do put rules in place at school. You don't get to set foot in the playground without a hat here for very good reasons. No amount of "oh it gives me a headache" "it makes my head sweaty" "it's hard to play footy" will allow the rule to be broken. No hat, no play.

I'm not a big fan of water, but I know that I have to drink a certain amount each day for health reasons. I don't say that I'd rather drink coca-cola all day instead. I use a filtered bottle and put some fruit in it. A ten year old is old enough to begin to learn what needs to be done to keep him healthy.

[Startail]

Some posters truly haven't a clue who stubborn 9-11y DC can be.

Yes if I'd had my time again I'd have tried to get Dd2 to drink water sometimes when she was younger, but this hysteria about squash both with and without sugar passed me by. DH always drinks squash so the DDs do too.

[holidaysarenice]

Are you actually serious?! Your child prefers squash to water, MOST children do!!

Give him water, squash at home. You should support the school not rubbish them.

Your childs medical condition is a migraine, prevented by hydration. Not by squash.

[Startail]

Also it's utterly barking because next year he'll be able to drink what the fuck he likes because senior school sell flavoured water and juice and don't care what's in DCs lunch boxes. If they have coke and three mars bars no one would notice.

Although Matron would rather pupils didn't get totally wired on a crate of energy drinks.

[Startail]

Personally I hate squash always did and always drank water or tea. Much to my Brownie leaders annoyance, she couldn't believe a child not liking squash.

[Bugsylugs]

Not read it all. All those of you saying at 10 he will learn the consequences if etc. if this is so please explain to me why I have so many children in clinics who suffer severe constipation because they will not poo at school they know it is better for them, the pain will go if they listen to their bodies but no children like adults are a law unto themselves. Also those who will not drink because they do not want to use toilets for a multitude of reasons and suffer headaches, wee infections poor concentration poor results at school.
Sugar free squash whilst not the best is vastly better than no drinks.

Oh and water does taste especially if warm and has been on the side for an hr or so.

School are bonkers, bet you can get a GP letter.

[ravenAK]

Startail - no, secondary school will almost certainly allow him to have whichever drinks he/parents want as part of a packed lunch, just as he can now. This isn't the issue.

Same rules will apply re: drinking during lessons - ie. it's probably not necessary as a general thing, tbh, & all the exciting research about under-performance linked to not endlessly slurping on a bottle of water has been thoroughly debunked.

That said: bottle of water in lessons, no problem. Kids are quickly told to put it away, if pratting about with it rather than quick drink. Sticky squash on tables, no thanks.

[compost]

This is why you never start giving a child squash in the first place!
Milk or water, and you wont go wrong.
OP if this is such a big thing, then just ask the doc to do the letter and job done.
But your son needs to realise the connection of dehydration creating migraines. And if he wont drink the water, then the headaches cant be so bad. Because we all know intense pain, and will do whatever to avoid it.

[Bugsylugs]

Compost absolutely not true 'because we all know intense pain and will do whatever to avoid it'. It maybe for you but not for many many people both adults and children. Think those that will not take pain relief, those who will not see a dentist but suffer terrible pain etc etc.