Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

Interesting article.

"They do NOT connect drinking more with anything other than it being fairly unpleasant, like being force fed when you aren't hungry. "

We have an excellent biological mechanism to tell us when when we need a drink- it's called "thirst".

It's the drink manufacturers who have convinced us that this mechanism is somehow faulty.

And some people don't recognise "thirst" until they have a migraine, curlew...

And some people don't recognise "thirst" until they start getting cystitis all the time and kidney stones. Plenty of people don't recognise "thirst" until it seriously affects their health.

There is an excellent biological mechanism to stop people overeating. Oh no, hang on a minute, there isn't.

Biological mechanisms are not perfect.

Some people need to drink more than they feel the need to, for health reasons.

Duchesse Yes, the article is interesting but does not really relate to what I have been advocating.

Earlier on I said I think the OP should seriously consider weaning her child off squash, by making it weaker and weaker for example. In the meantime the school should bend the rule so the child can remain hydrated.

This is not a case for a 'sledgehammer' approach because the consequences of the child being dehydrated are severe. Water instead of squash can be phased in, in such a way it is not such a shock to the child's system.

Maintaining such a hard line approach is like telling drivers they should not wear seat belts because everyone should be driving safely anyway.

"Biological mechanisms are not perfect."

Yep- that's what the marketing people want us to believe.

And GPs advising people who get cystitis, kidney stones, overactive bladders, migraines... Silly old GPs, falling prey to the marketing people.

If my child runs around, gets hot and sweaty, refuses water and later on complains his pee stings as he produces a tiny little dribble that comes out a very dark orange/brown colour, I must remember not to advise him to drink more.

curlew The human body is amazing.

Marketing companies, in it for the money, can mislead.

However for someone to recover they have to be ready to overcome what difficulties they may have. This really is an individual thing and cannot be dictated by a school or anyone else for that matter. Their role is to support and encourage.

If biological mechanisms were perfect, people wouldn't get migraines. If you are prone to migraines, you have to avoid getting dehydrated in the first place. Thirst is a response to dehydration, isn't it? I don't get thirsty to avoid dehydration, I get thirsty because I am already dehydrated - and I can ignore that feeling for quite some time before I'm desperate for a drink. I can see how annoying it is for people who have to drink before they are dehydrated (ie before they are thirsty), if I don't always bother to drink the minute I start to feel thirsty.

Rabbitstew, yes there is a mechanism to stop people vereating. Everyone is born with it. It takes years of "practice" to override the brain's message that you are "full" and keep eating anyway.

People do not often overeat for " biological" reasons but for emotional, psychological or cultural reasons.

Same with drinking water. Put any human being in the desert with a bottle of water, and very very few would actually rather die than drink water.

Now, having been accustomed to drinking ony sugared water, many creatures would find the transition to plain water a challenge.

Not biologically though. This obviously excludes people who are ill or have a sickness.

Still, I do get the OP wanting her child to drink squash rat her han drink nothing, I completely get it.

But really, do wean the kids of sugary water and do them and their teeth a favour. Maybe practice over the summer?

It is a myth that when you are thirsty, you are already dehydrated.

Really dehydrated means limp and lifeless person, with weird skin that stays in the pinched shape when you pinch it, and your veins now impossible to find ( to put a drip in)

Sadly a really dehydrated child is extremely worrying. Been there. Really hard to get the drip in.

Calling everyone who is thirsty "dehydrated" is drama queen behaviour

Chandon Ah but where do make the split between psychological, cultural and biological?

Since different states of mind present with different brain chemistry and physiology nothing is as clear cut as saying something is not biological.

Biological does not 'trump' psychological in terms of deciding how difficult something is to overcome...

That is true.

But the original, bio system, is not usually faulty.

I think a lot of people are nt in touch with their body, and don't even know when they are thirsty or hungry or tired...modern life I guess

Chandon How 'original' are you talking?

The one you are born with?

Most babies know when they are hungry, full or thirsty

Chandon So no inherited tendencies towards psychological conditions? or any other conditions for that matter...

Yes - wean the kid off is the whole point. The school is not doing that, though, is it? It is requiring instantaneous compliance. People do not instantaneously change their emotional, psychological or cultural practices, do they, even if they know that what they are doing is not fantastically good for them. "Psychology" is regularly a stronger force in today's society than biology and from a psychological perspective, just expecting the boy to drink enough water to avoid migraines without active support is not good psychology. Squash is better than nothing, then weakened squash, then water. As for the desert analogy - maroon a human being somewhere with no food and water and they might ultimately consider killing their companion or eating their own body parts. What goes when lost in the desert is not what goes elsewhere: you have to be sensitive to your real environment, not an imaginary one.

Yes, that is why I said illness excluded.

I do not think the OP's child was born with a psychological disorder that makes him unable to drink water.

People who don't or won't drink water have been " spoilt". By always having been supplied with sugared drinks ( like some babies and tots who permanently suck on a bbottle of squash).

I feel sympathy for OP though, it must be tough to break that habit.

O.k. Then, put a kid in the garden with no drinks and after enough time they will run to the tap. ( more realsitc scenario)

If they won't they have been made addicted to sugar to a degree they self harm and you should REALLy wean them of it!

Chandon - you are talking about severe dehydration. I've been there and done that, too. That is not the only type of dehydration - that's when you've left it far, far too late and it can come on incredibly quickly, unfortunately, so a small child can go from dehydrated to severely dehydrated frighteningly fast. A long way prior to that you have the warning signs, in terms of thirst, and some people need to drink before they get warning signs or they get migraines, or bladder infections. It is just so silly to get fixated on whether or not someone is dehydrated when the amount they are drinking has been identified as a trigger for their migraines. What are you trying to do there? Deny it is a trigger, just because the child in question can't possibly, under your definition, have been dehydrated?

Chandon If something or someone by definition is 'spoilt' then it is not functioning correctly.

To function correctly some sort of 'corrective' plan of action has to be undertaken, other than saying 'it is against the rules' without offering any help with regards to how to fix the problem...