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Original poster

Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

789 replies

TheOriginalNutcracker · 04/07/2013 17:08

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

OP posts:
Chandon · 09/07/2013 11:23

I know, and I agree with that. I am not heartless or lacking empathy ( or maybe I am), but I think the " my kid will only drink sugared drinks" is a dilemma that can be sloved by the parents. Over the summer maybe.

daftdame · 09/07/2013 11:26

Realistically this particular school should be more flexible also...because a parent cannot do everything remotely, whilst the child is at school.

Chandon · 09/07/2013 11:27

Rabbitstew, no I was just going against some of your statements, like that people do not have a mechanism to recognise when they are full, or thirsty.

They do.

You would never believe How much I get the OP, as my DS has migraines nduced by low blood sugar and I have to remember to put crcakers in his school bag, and then HE has to remember to eat them. I know how hard it is. But that does not mean that humans do not have fullness or thirst mechanisms.

Lots of people are out of touch with them. the stomach produces Grehlin ( the fullness hormone) which tells the brain the stomach is full.

I just do not agree with the statements about there NOT being any kind of mechanism.

rabbitstew · 09/07/2013 11:29

Nobody is denying the OP's ds would be better off drinking water, not even the OP. How you get him to drink water is what is being discussed, and whether it is acceptable to just tell him, "it's water or nothing from now on," when the consequence is that he gets migraines, goes home early from school and does not change his behaviour. OP would, quite reasonably, rather have him stay at school all day so that he doesn't get even further behind academically. If school want that too, they need to work better with the parent, rather than simply tell her he's only allowed to take in water when she knows from experience the result will be that he gets a migraine and comes home early. They need to reassure her they will not let that happen, but to date that is exactly what they have let happen.

curlew · 09/07/2013 11:32

"Calling everyone who is thirsty "dehydrated" is drama queen behaviour"

As is calling drinking "hydration"!

rabbitstew · 09/07/2013 11:33

I do not remember making any statements saying that there is no mechanism Confused. I pointed out that the mechanism does not work very well in many people - it does not cause an appropriate change in their behaviour. Whether that's because they have trained themselves not to listen to it or never learnt to respond appropriately to it is by the by, the fact is, the mechanism is so easily overridable that most people appear to override it. Saying that shouldn't be the case is pointless, it is the case.

curlew · 09/07/2013 11:34

She could just get him to have a drink when he gets up, another one before he goes into school, wnhatever he does drink during lessons, a drink at break, another at lunch, then one when she picks him up from school- and whatever she wants to give him from 3.15 onwards.

He doesn't actually have to drink during lessons.......

daftdame · 09/07/2013 11:36

curlew Does the OP have weird mind control powers whereby she can remind her son to drink when she is not there?

curlew · 09/07/2013 11:38

No. But as he is happy to drink so long as it's not plain water, he will presumably drink whatever is him his lunchbox- and the OP is there pre and post school........

daftdame · 09/07/2013 11:52

We don't know whether squash is allowed in lunch box or at break times or whether he would think to drink at breaks without a reminder.

curlew · 09/07/2013 11:56

I've never met a school which didn't allow juice or squash in lunch boxes.

daftdame · 09/07/2013 12:02

Juice / squash only at lunch may not be enough for this boy. He'd have to be able to drink enough in one go to last him. If he could drink at breaks and the school would remind him to that would probably be OK.

Or they could carry on as normal (with no extra input) and allow him squash and leave the 'weaning off' to the parent under these circumstances. (As far as I know weak squash is not poisonous). No extra support would be required if they allowed this concession, which the parent would agree to.

youaintallthat · 09/07/2013 12:06

As someone who works at s school and sees at least 4 letters a term from gp's, school nurses, consultants etc I do think schools need to getsa grip and stop being so bloody precious about water.
I personally do not only drink water while I am at work in the school, I drink tea coffee water fruit juice etc yet tell children they're not allowed to do the same.
I really don't see the issue with sugar free fruit juice and it would appear nor do the pediatricians, doctors and nurses who are the ones writing to the school to request that school are slightly more sensible about allowing sugar free juice so I don't get how if medical professionals think it's ok non medically or nutritionally trained head teachers get a bee in their bonnets about it. Even dentists don't have any issues with juice as long as its sugar free.
Every sugar free juice I buy has barely any calories, fat, sugar etc so I really don't see why it's banned.
I personally cannot only drink water...oh how boring so it's pretty unfair to force others to follow rules you don't.
I only think sugar free juices should be allowed though at school not fizzy drinks or sugary drinks etc. If this was my child I'd just put their juice in a non see through drinking bottle and tell child not to show off about juice or tell others.

LaLaLeni · 09/07/2013 12:15

I'm pretty sure we were given squash at school. I hated water too and so I only ever drank squash - I'm now 33 and I don't have a single filling! I wasn't given sweets and chocolate after school like my peers though.

I don't see why children shouldn't have weak squash if they have a healthy low sugar diet generally. I still only drink squash by the way, as I still don't enjoy water.

LaLaLeni · 09/07/2013 12:16

Also if the school delay administering Calpol that is completely unacceptable.

curlew · 09/07/2013 12:18

Agree- he should have calpol as soon as he says he needs it- outrageous if they delay.

happybubblebrain · 09/07/2013 12:19

I haven't drunk any water for about 20 years and I'm about as healthy as you can get. All drinks are mostly water, the other 1 or 2 percent of something else is not going to harm you.

When did the UK become so puritanical and obsessive? I's starting to annoy me now. The fun is gradually being squeezed out of all aspects of our life and people are just accepting it and supporting it.

Schools should not have a say in what people drink. Vodka yes, but not squash.

curlew · 09/07/2013 12:20

Just in case anyone's missed it- sugar free may very well be an issue for migraine sufferers.

And many people would much rather their children had sugar than sweeteners.

daftdame · 09/07/2013 12:25

The school has a choice, they can either permit squash (of a type approved by child and parent) or successfully encourage the child to drink enough at regular intervals.

They cannot really make no adjustments for this child as that would be reneging on their duty of care.

Oblomov · 09/07/2013 12:43

I think a 10 year old should be able to take responsibility for drinking enough to minimalise risks of getting a migraine.
Both mine drink alot. And do not need to be reminded. But I know plently of parents who have to remind.

So, what exactly is OP going to DO?

daftdame · 09/07/2013 12:49

Oblomov There are a lot of things people 'should' be able to do....Is there anything your children 'should' be able to do at their age but don't or can't?

A school does have a duty of care though...

rabbitstew · 09/07/2013 12:51

curlew - if you hydrate something, you add water to it. Your view that drinking is not hydration is therefore bizarre.

FasterStronger · 09/07/2013 12:59

so the OPs son is refusing to drink water because he prefers squash.

well done the school for not falling for it.

curlew · 09/07/2013 13:00

Of course drinking is hydration. But it's also a word used but he bottled water/sports drinks industry to make us think that it's something complicated and "scientific" which we can't manage without their expensive products. And which we can get wrong very easily- so we buy their expensive products.

daftdame · 09/07/2013 13:08

FasterStronger He also gets sent home because he gets migraines and struggles with some of his school work.

Children cannot always just be 'told' to behave, even when it is in their own interests.

Would you also leave an anorexic to starve to death? Someone who is mentally disturbed to self harm? Yes, they are wrong to do this but compassion dictates we help them.

The help in this case is relatively low cost and quite simple. Let him drink squash...