Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

If you were starving and thirsty in a desert, you might well consider eating your companion...

And how many threads have there been on here about all day stand offs with food and drink? Loads. And yes no one worries about those because the toddler still has the milk at the enforcement of the day and the 7 year old gives in eventually and eats/drinks. But the point is it has taken hours - sure to most kids the worst that will happen is they are tired and cranky and the wolf down their breakfast in the morning.

But the ops son is different. The effects are felt pretty damn quick and there's no way through the lethargy nausea and pain he's going to have that light bulb moment and think- this is because I didn't drink. God how many of you have husbands who still don't sodding link between late nights playing computer games and being tired in the morning?

I cannot believe you would rather see a child dosed up to the eye balls just to prove a point. You concentrate on your child and let the op do what's best for hers.

Yes, I used to do the freezing thing for primary too. Got caught out on a few days which never quite warmed up, though!

Exactl wheres.Leaving him to it will have an impact on his education.How come kids who come to school with nits,no breakfast etc are pandered to with breakfast clubs,not sent home etc because their eduction is deemed important but this kid's education is not deemed as worthy of concern.

MrButtercat - because this kid will make the classroom sticky.

Then chuck the kid a cloth Ffs. Two seconds. Done. Geez.
Kids are sticky anyway.

Yes, isn't it shit that hungry children are sometimes given breakfast at a very few schools, whilst one child's preference for sugary squash and refusal to drink water is somehow not prioritised?

Better still shove some baby wipes in the bag. He can drink clean up and no one will know.

Only the wasps!

Rules are more important than health. Hungry children are deserving. Children who over-medicate deserve everything they get, it's all their fault.

I don't understand y any of you care so much as to what's in the bottle.
If your kids and teachers have that much time spare that they can sniff bottles all day and cross match who they belong to, I'd have some serious concerns about the standard of teaching.

All of you who are bashing the op would be the first to complain that the constant collapsing or leaving lessons and medical interventions and phone calls were disrupting your child's education.

But don't you think most children, given the choice, would prefer squash to water? But sometimes water is what's on offer, and if you're thirsty, or you know you need to, you drink it! It's not like being made to eat wasps or something!

The original the vast maj of kids wouldn't drain a water bottle,even water drinking kids like mine.

Oh and my dd wouldn't eat breakfast unless I made her.I can make her when she's sat in front of me.How come the breakfast refusers with no medical condition are worthy of concern but not a water refuser with a medical condition?

Filter your water and freeze it overnight.

He is 10yrs old! He can drink water -if he has to. I would get him used to it at home. Get rid of the squash and go running with him-3 miles would get him drinking water.
Of course he won't touch water if he thinks his mother will bend school rules- and then they will all bend school rules.

Then don't give your child the choice. No ones asking you to.

I always thought it was more about breakfast not being given, rather than refused, at home.

Oh and my dd drinks like a fish. Her bottles still come back half full if not more. Luckily for her she doesn't get headaches.

Maybe people are mislead-the water monitor generally refills the bottles at lunchtime. In this weather the will need to and some will want more.
I wonder how many have experience of more than their own child? I also wonder how many have had experience of water cascading down trolleys and floods in the drawers, if they think a wet wipe will sort it!

Any child could spill their drink though. It's not isolated to squash and you would have to clean it up anyway. You don't leave it just cos its water. He's no more likely to make a mess than any other child.

There is no water monitor at our school,you send a bottle in and it comes back full.

Tbh I don't expect school to waste time fannying about with water so I don't care but my dc don't get migraines.

And if 1 squash bottle is an issue,I'm sure a special place could be found for it.

exoticfruits Mon 08-Jul-13 09:32:15
"It is quite simple-he is year 5 and you say to him

'Drink water regularly-if you don't you will get a migraine-don't bleat to me about it-I will have no sympathy'."

That seems simple enough and my immediate reaction is yyy to this.

There is only one problem:

A child with a migraine is not the only person who will be taking the consequences: it will be impacting on the whole family.

His mum probably won't be able to leave the house, certainly won't be able to go to work while he has a migraine.

His teachers will get understandably frustrated with his absences which make their work more difficult.

His attendance will send the EWO round threatening fines and even jail sentences. And all that aggro will be directed against the mother, not the child.

I had a child whose behaviour would trigger a different kind of condition (refusing to do physio, which made her joint condition worse). All very well saying "well, if you will behave like that I'll have no sympathy"- the truth is that I still had to look after her, wasn't able to do my job properly, got nasty calls from EWO, was investigated by SS etc. It's not the child that has to go through all that.

In this particular instance, a big part of the problem is that the child needs to drink this water at a time when the mother is not there to supervise him and nobody else is willing to do it. Issuing rewards for bringing home empty bottles is hardly going to do it either: nothing to stop him from pouring the water down the drain.

Yes, it is too bad of him. But not a lot the OP can do about it. And she still has to live with the migraines.

He has what is probably a life long condition and he needs to start taking responsibility for taking care of himself. The school rules don't change due to a kids preference.

My DD has allergies (milk,egg) and reflux. Reflux is triggered by sugar and fat. What a joy for her - at a party she asks for water, as a glass of juice or squash will give her a stomach ache. A bag of crisps? She'll be vomiting by evening. The cake? The same...within 4 hours unless it's a vegan cake she'll be sick and have a stomach ache for days. We control her condition via diet. Otherwise she gets really sick and has to take the max allowed dose of two meds to get it all under control. Its vital that she learns to control her diet and avoid the meds long term.

She has been taught since she was 4 that it's her body, she has to make the right decisions for her! Sadly it's not about what she wants to eat or drink - but what she can eat or drink and be well. She's 8 now and yes it's hard constantly saying no to icecream, chips, crisps, sweets, juice, squash, pop, biscuits etc etc. but it HAS TO BE DONE.

OP - teach your kid that taking care of himself is more important than sugar.

wheresthebeach - when he leaves school, he can take responsibility for taking care of himself by drinking diluted squash all the time and drinking diluted squash is highly unlikely to harm his health. His mother is not asking for him to be allowed to do anything dangerous, she is asking for the school to help him avoid harming his health. Refusing him squash is about the school rules, not about his welfare.