Primary school insisting my child takes water not squash to school, despite there being a medical reason for it

[TheOriginalNutcracker]

My ds is 10 and suffers from frequent migraines. He takes daily preventative meds for them, and we try hard to manage them by eliminating triggers.

Obviously, dehydration is a major trigger, and so I need to make sure he drink enough during the day. I send him to school with weak squash in his water bottle, as he is not overly keen on water, and so will not drink enough of it. I know this to be the case from seeing him drink at home.

School are kicking up an almighty fuss about it. I have spoken to them countless times explaining why he needs the squash, and have also written a letter insisting he be alowed it, abd again explained why.
Today he was pulled into the heads office because of the squash.

I went in after school and asked to see the head. I was told she could only speak to me for 2 minutes. She came out and right away knew why I was there. She just went on and on about many people not liking water and getting headaches, but that other kids would think it was ok for their child to bring in squash also.
She then said that my ds had promised earlier that day, to try and drink only water next week. So basically they got him to agree to this in a meeting with no parent present.

I explained again about his migraines, but she basically insisted and just said that ds had agreed now.

Is there anyting I can do about this ? I think their treatment of him and his condition is appaling. We have also had issues where they have made him wait for calpol when a headache starts.

I don't think anyone can find it particularly pleasant to drink luke warm water out of a plastic or metal bottle that's been sitting on a tray in a classroom all day. Given the amount of evidence accumulating that human beings do absorb chemicals from the plastics their food and drinks are stored in, I think I would rather they still had a few unhygienic water fountains around.

The water is there if they need to drink. At 10 they are old enough to make that decision without having to be micromanaged. It's quite simple, if you are thirsty drink your water - if not, don't.

It is different for young children. They need to be reminded. The same way they are reminded to wash their hands after toileting, to say please and thank you, to wait their turn, to share, etc.

10 year olds are given more responsibility for self care, appropriate to their age.

A 10 yr old is old enough to understand the choice:

You will get a migraine if you get dehydrated- the choice is yours- the school rule is water- drink it or have the migraine. Presumably the Head told him the simple truth.

Unless you have been in a class room with water bottles you will not understand how much gets spilt- it is bad enough without being sticky.

Put ice in it first thing before he puts it in his bag.

Hmm it seems quite extraordinary that healthy dcs wouldn't drink water to stay hydrated. Of corse they prefer ssweetened drinks. As they have been growing up every time they started refusing water I have cracked down on it, making a point of it being g water or nothing for a few days. Sweetened drinks have a huge amount to answer in terms of public health and in that I include fruit juice and smoothies (both incredibly high in sugar and calories)

FWIW for the last 3 years we have as a family given up all drinks except water and milk for 6 weeks in lent. The rest of the time the dcs have soft drinks (1 per day) and juice with breakfast only at the weekend. DH and I do nt drink alcohol or soft drinks Monday-Thursday either. Saves a fortune.

It is like anything - a prefer a chocolate biscuit to a rich tea biscuit but there is no reason why I can't eat a rich tea biscuit.
Most children will prefer sugared water- it doesn't mean they can't drink it unsugared- especially if they are 10 yrs old and know what will happen if they don't.

It's all very simple - the child is not drinking enough.

Obviously, when he can no longer control his migraines and gets rebound headaches from stupidly relying on medication, you can get all smug about it. You have permitted him to rely on something dangerous by leaving it to him to decide whether to take medicine or drink water. Frankly, I think at 10 he is not old enough to make such a stupid decision unsupervised.

It's quite extraordinary that obese people eat so much and exercise so little. It's quite extraordinary that some people with diabetes control it so badly they end up going blind and having their feet amputated. It's quite extraordinary that anybody smokes and that so many people drink enough alcohol to be harmful to themselves. People really are quite extraordinary, and 10 year olds are too young to live on their own and look after themselves properly - how extraordinary.

Rabbit - you don't get rebound headaches from preventive medication

You do from overuse of the Calpol he takes when the headache is coming on...

I'm always baffled by the idea of 'not liking water'... It's just, well, water: if youre thirsty or you know you need to stay hydrated, you drink it! It's like not really liking air!

But warm water left in a bottle at the back of the class room is rank. I would t touch it either. Squash would make it just about bearable but only just. Obviously it would be better if child did drink water however if its a toss up between dosing him up constantly and a cm of cordial then I know what Id choose.

You would all go and have gone if the threads are anything to go by, nuts if the teachers told you that your kids couldn't have what you felt was reasonable in their lunch box.

True Rabbit - I hope the I does what I do with ds and makes him drink something when he first complains of a headache before reaching for the meds. Which I also do to DH.

The OP...

Basically, at the moment the OP's ds is taking medicine that makes him sleepy, fat and lethargic. He is then not avoiding migraine triggers whilst at school as advised, so still getting headaches which if not treated quickly with calpol will nevertheless lead on to full blown migraines, despite the preventative medication. He is choosing the calpol route. That is not the behaviour of a child old enough and responsible enough to take his own decisions at school without supervision. Without parents or teachers nagging him, he is not drinking. The school are aware that he is socially and academically behind his peers (and are not doing a good job of dealing with it...). Clearly they think this is all his and his mother's fault and it's not their problem, except to the extent that he might make a sticky mess in the classroom. Sounds to me like a school that is as bad at taking responsibility as the child is.

I don't see how warm sticky sweet squash is any yummier than water, really!

TOSN - you wouldn't make a good taster for a food or drink company! Water is not tasteless, particularly not water in a plastic bottle. Personally, I don't see why anyone has a problem eating sheeps' eyeballs or insects...

If warm water is the problem, what about keeping the bottle in one of those special bags to keep it cool? Maybe with an ice pack? You can get ones especially for bottles.

As I said my dc only drink water at home,their water filled drink bottles come home full every day.On the odd days I send in squash as a treat they come back drained.I personally don't care and think if they don't drink they won't curl up and die however when my dd went through a period of bladder infections and the doc said she had to drink more we sent in squash to be sure as school don't care what they drink.There have been other children with the same issue.

The problem is when children have to drink more for a medical reason- most kids imvho don't care enough to keep fluid intake up,they just don't care so they don't.

I also think often the medical advice from schools isn't that great.Take the fresh fruit thing.Two of our gps and the hv say it's the worst mid morning snack to have as they need something slow release such as oatcakes etc and fruit(dried fruit in particular) give a rush and crash.Also some of these strapping KS 2 kids can't go all morning on an apple if they have a late lunch which ours do.Our school say yes to fruit strings,yog covered raisins(no better than sweets according to my gp) but not to oat cakes,cheese etc.

Challenging schools for medical reasons can be perfectly justified so Zi sympathise with the op and think her gp will back her up and send in the relevant note.Shame he/she has to waste time doing it.

For a significant part of human existence, water was exceptionally dangerous to drink and only the desperate or foolhardy would drink the stuff.

Beer, anyone?

Yes, but that's not now, is it? I don't think this child is going to catch typhus or cholera from drinking some water. If he's that fussy, don't use a plastic bottle or whatever, but any crap that affects the water in a plastic bottle is surely going to be there if there's squash in the bottle too: you just mask it with sugar! I just think it is a bit ridiculous for anyone to refuse water if they are thirsty and there isnt anything else on offer.

It is quite simple-he is year 5 and you say to him

'Drink water regularly-if you don't you will get a migraine-don't bleat to me about it-I will have no sympathy'.

Not being able to drink water is ridiculous-if you were lost in a desert I can absolutely guarantee that you would give everything you own for a drink of water! I came close to it up a mountain once.

I freeze water bottles. They have defrosted enough to drink by break time, and stay cool all day.

TOSN - human beings do lots of ridiculous things. In this case, the ridiculous things the boy is doing are harming his health. He is not old enough to be left to get on with being ridiculous, with the school turning a blind eye to the fact that whatever anyone says, he is not drinking enough water to keep his migraines under control.

The problem with water is you can clearly taste all the disgusting things in it that shouldn't be there - eg chlorine and plastic chemicals. Yes, if you disguise that by adding flavouring, the bad things are still there, but at least it's more bearable for people who are sensitive to the different flavours of water. If you don't have a problem with water, that's fine, but it's very patronising to tell others off for being more discerning than you are!