Sports day angst

[manchestermummy]

DD1's first sports day today. She came last in all but one event (as I suspected she might!) and was in races with the girl who does 1,000,000 sporting activities each day.

I feel so very bad for her. She's academically a good all-rounder, very creative, sociable and popular. But her little face this morning . And in tears all wekeend thinking about it.

I know it's a rite of passage, but I'm worried my PFB will remember this day forever more.

Oh great dd has now decided to get upset about doing nothing in front of us. V upset this morning but buggar all I can do now(or her teacher). I don't think the boredom factor is helping.

It's the lack of learning for a week for those not taking part that is bothering me as much as the message it sends out.

It really is all about how well or badly competition is handled, in primary schools especially.

Competition is encouraged at dds' school, but it is voluntary - apart from Sports Day - no one has to enter, but amazingly (in the voluntary competitions) most kids do. There are 'whole school challenges' every couple of months and as they vary in subject (eg photography, art, writing, science, etc) all kids find at least one they are keen on entering.

Reading about 3 day sports 'day's makes me grateful ours in only one

But to be fair on the kids that hate it, its not always the losing that matters. dd1 hated it because she has stage fright, so running in front of a crowd of parents and the whole school felt like a nightmare to her aged 7. Now at 9.5, she is a lot more resilient - but that has nothing to do with sports day, and everything to do with time and a steady trickle of being involved in assemblies etc.

Oh the best bit is those with parents at the events ie those kids actually in it get to go home early so those not competing having sat through the entire tedious event have to stay at school.

Eli that sounds fab.

My DS loves Sports Day, however it is the same as for everything else with him, he is middle of the pack. His best race is egg and spoon, last year he messed up and took his water bottle to the start line then didn't know what to do with it, dropped it and came last. He is still upset a year later. I could have cried watching him. This year he can't take part at all as he has broken his arm, so he's upset about that too. It doesn't seem to be the case at his school that different children shine academically and at sports day, all the top group children seem to be the best at sports too.

Yes at our school the most able academically are generally the sporty ones too.

I don't know what the answer is, everyone should get the chance to shine, but sports day is just too visible if you're not that sporty...

I would like more emphasis put on beating your own personal best - like at the Olympics, even if our athlete came last in their group if they'd beaten their PB then they had sort of won IYSWIM? I think if children can see progress then it helps to boost confidence.

Thingymajigs I like the idea of the optional competitive sports day!
I am concerned at how many children are still being put off sport - surely the main aim should be fitness for the future??

Glee totally agree,personal best and voluntary for all.

That's a really good point. At my secondary school they kept a close track on best times in running, and when you beat your PB (even if you were still last out of 150), you were very positively praised. If a secondary school can manage that, why can't a primary?

Meanwhile at DD1's school, competitive mum is still going on about her fabulously sporty her child is.

Oh and actually, I will never, ever forget my mother laughing at me because I came last aged 5. And 6 and 7.

Oh bless....the little duck!, I can imagine that if she does well academically it would be a kick in the pants for her if she didn't win any races even more so.

I personally don't like sports days, it'll be my DS's 4th this year and my Dd's 1st. I always feel sorry for the little sweet hearts that come last...even more so my own , especially when you can see how hard they were trying. Funnily enough my DS only told me a couple of evenings ago (after I had mentioned sports day coming up) that he doesn't like sports days he always comes last, and mentioned the time he stopped half way through the race because he thought he had finished and everyone laughed at him. That was last year!! Sadly he doesn't do very well academically either so this year I will be keeping a little well done sticker in my pocket for afterwards and big him up to congratulate him on his effort.
Oh and he knows I always came last but I was very proud of myself for trying my best!

My son came last on evrything on sports day. But I told him that I am very proud that he did all of the activities as good as he could. Also I told him that I am very proud because he did not give up, even when he knew he will be the last one. Even the girls were quicker than him.

He asked me if I am angry with him, because he was the last, but I said no. I explained him that some chidlren are better in sports and some children are better in learning (he is the best reader in his class).

When he started to run one class (Year 2) started to cheer for him, and it was not his class. He is in Reception. Every parents came to me and asked if I heard that the class was cheering to my son. And I said proudly yes I heard it. The class did not do it for any other children.

All in one, he has very good memories about his first school sports day, even if he was last in everything.

A mother laughing at her daughter for coming last, that's got to be right up there on a list of things not to do as a parent, I say up there with don't lock the child in a cupboard.

Buttercat, hw many days without even taking part?! That is outrageous, I would simply not send them to school then.

Interesting conversation on The Wright Stuff this morning about confidence and whether you're born with it or not. They discussed sports in school as being one of those times where the strongest/most confident have their ability reinforced while the weaker/younger/slower are told they've failed again. I really think it needs looking at nationwide tbh. Michael Rosen was on - he is fab