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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Sports day angst

89 replies

manchestermummy · 17/06/2013 16:25

DD1's first sports day today. She came last in all but one event (as I suspected she might!) and was in races with the girl who does 1,000,000 sporting activities each day.

I feel so very bad for her. She's academically a good all-rounder, very creative, sociable and popular. But her little face this morning . And in tears all wekeend thinking about it.

I know it's a rite of passage, but I'm worried my PFB will remember this day forever more.

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cosmicdiva · 24/06/2013 16:09

But why, why, why have a 'sports day?' I get it that all children have different talents but why showcase the sporting winners at the expense of the losers? There would be an outcry if a school organised a public writing competition for 5yr olds, with medals for the best. If they're good at anything let them shine in class. No need for their successes or failures to be in front of an audience.

Elibean · 24/06/2013 16:51

cosmic, that's pretty much what my six year old dd said - after wailing - the other night!

She's currently more cheerful about it. I found a grown up friend (dd knows her well, and likes her) who talked openly about how much she hated sports days because she too has flat feet and always came last etc....seemed to help dd put it in perspective 'it's just one day, not that important, etc'

Trouble is, challenging 'why sports day at all' is like challenging the British Empire a hundred years ago

Theas18 · 24/06/2013 17:06

I only ever won one event at school sports day in my life- the slow bicycle race.......

DS is sporty ( or would like to be, mostly he's injured) but the girls are not. To the extent had DD1s national curriculum levels were always well below target. (DD2 is " average").

To all the parents of the kids who don't win I'd really really like to say it's 1 day a year. Now they are teens they don't care about it, they are not " traumatised" at all. It's to be endured and it will be over.

BTW the impression that " the kids who win are the non academic ones" stuff and nonsense! DS is at school with several lads who are in various England squads. I don't know about the girls, they don/t.didn't care enough to tell me LOL

Taffeta · 24/06/2013 17:37

cosmic - at my DCs school they have a least 2 writing competitions per year, an art competition, pen licences are awarded publically and achievement cups handed out once a term. As well as being stamped on ability from Y1 so everyone knows how able any child in any class is.

Sports Day is one day.

Taffeta · 24/06/2013 17:37

Not stamped, streamed.

Elibean · 24/06/2013 19:34

Yes, but as dd said 'no one has to do the writing competition, or the talent contest'.

But I do agree, it is only one day a week and I don't think they will be traumatised for life - as long as their own parents take a light approach, shrug, and tell them they're great at other things

Taffeta · 24/06/2013 20:19

They HAVE to do the writing competition at our school. And all the entries are displayed on the wall for parents to see when they come into school.

Alexandersalittlemonkey · 24/06/2013 20:51

I went to my son's first sports day last week. Every year group did the same races albeit of differing distances. I was really dreading it as my son also has cp and I wondered how he would he get on coming last. However, even though there were races where his disability wouldn't have been noticeable like the egg and spoon, he actually chose to do the running races. Obviously he came last both times but he had such fun taking part and he had the whole school cheering him on. There were clearly winners and losers but it was done so well that no one was upset and all the kids had a great time.

sittinginthesun · 24/06/2013 20:55

I think it is important to have a little bit of competition in life, and I guess a lot depends on how well the school manage it.

We've just had ours too - four houses, so each individual race had a maximum of four competitors. Around half the races were team relay races. And lots of different types of races.

So super fast DS1 won his running race, but came 4th in the obstacle race, as he can't skip for toffee.

Little DS2, who is probably the least agile child in Year 1, and had to be helped by the teacher in the sack race, won the egg and spoon by miles!

DorisIsWaiting · 24/06/2013 21:07

DD2 also came last or close to in all her races. What helped was they all had stickers for taking part and those that came 1/2/3 got stickers that said 1/2/3.

When she said I didn't win anything, we discussed the whole strengths and weaknesses, within a couple of days it is forgotten. I like sports day as it lets those who are not necessarily academic shine.

Elibean · 24/06/2013 22:02

Taffeta, am - a writing competition you have to take part in? Gosh. Not heard of that before!

No egg and spoon races at our school, but a lot of fun to be had in the morning, when kids of all ages are teamed up so that older ones help younger ones in a carousel of mad events...

The afternoon is for running races, and those are the ones some of them don't like. They are done well, and there are rarely tears, but inevitably some kids loathe it (I would have done).

The best runners in dd2's class also happen to be the most academic. Possibly as they are also the oldest, tallest, strongest etc!

Taffeta · 24/06/2013 22:09

Yes. Two per year. And an art competition that's compulsory too.

I assumed it was the norm.

MidniteScribbler · 25/06/2013 05:30

We do the ICAS competitions here, so students are able to participate competitively in English, Maths, Science, Writing and Computer Skills. All students receive a participation certificate, with some students receiving credit/distinction/high distinction certificates. There are also medals available to students with certain achievements. We can also choose to give achievement awards to students who have made significant improvements in their results.

Competition is not a bad thing and it's not something to be afraid of. Any good school should have ample opportunities for students to excel in something, but should also be encouraging students to have a go at everything. Parents should be encouraging their children to have a go at everything and not just refusing or sulking because they don't win. Teach them to set their own goals - it might be to run faster than they did the previous year, or jump longer, or to get a higher score. Learning that attitude is everything is one of the more important life lessons.

50shadesofvomit · 25/06/2013 07:10

I hated sports day as a child but as a teen I discovered sports that I could be average/good at. At least as an adult you can usually play sport with someone who is a similar ability.

MrButtercat · 25/06/2013 07:12

At our school the less able and worse behaved kids get all the awards in assembly.We have a Sports Week and if you don't get through the trials you don't take part.Out of 3 kids I had only 1 child taking part in 1 race but sitting on the field watching others take part all week until I complained yesterday.

Thankfully I got the impression their teachers(who were lovely) think it's a shite system and a race was found for my child who sobbed all weekend in fury at himself for being rubbish at PE.He can cycle,swim and hike but to him he is just crap as for the second year running he was being excluded from all track and field events.His sister was too but was overjoyed as she hates the public humiliation and teasing.So that's great and encouraging the less able to take part- not.It's exclusive not inclusive.

Something really needs to be done in this country re encouraging the less able in PE,you never know it could help the rocketing obesity levels in children- just a thought.

If I'd known my dc were going to spend the best part of a week being taught they're so shit at sport they're not good enough to take part in events I would have booked a holiday.I will do next year and if the head complains I'll be having a little chat with County and making a formal complaint to Ofsted.

MrButtercat · 25/06/2013 07:20

No other competitions only endless assemblies with kids trooping up to get sporting medals- the same kids starring and doing as many as 7 races at sports day whilst others do nothing.

All kids can't shine.It's lovely if you have a sporting champion,or a stunning artist etc,etc but actually celebrating kids trying their best is more preferable imvho. Many able kids with a stunning skill are simply lucky enough to be born with it and put no more effort in than Joe Blogs.

Chandon · 25/06/2013 07:27

Bunch of grumplas

My DS only "qualified" for the threelegged race. So what. He is still looking forward to sports day. A break from the routine, being outside all day, cheering on your house.

It is a fun day, and kids can't all be number 1, tough but true

MrButtercat · 25/06/2013 07:29

Oh and dd spent all afternoon utterly bored making daisy chains and having a snooze on a crash mat along with all the other rejects.Got some great sporting pics of yawning.

Same again today and tomorrow.......

driftwoodsands · 25/06/2013 07:32

I've had it both ways, DS has dyspraxia and low muscle tone and would come w-a-y behind everyone else, but always got the biggest cheer, which inevitably made me sob. DD is like a greyhound and always wins. I am so proud of them both, but it hurt watching him come last repeatedly. My DS shrugged it off, he's now 15, but I do cringe when sports day comes around as it's so visible.

MrButtercat · 25/06/2013 07:33

Chandon 2 of mine qualified for nothing and are wasting an entire week.Dd was nearly weeping with boredom as were all the others.Was great sport for us parents spotting the most bored kid. Little cheering as they'd lost the will to live.Wonder if she could take a book today.By Friday dd will be eating the daisies.

MrButtercat · 25/06/2013 07:37

Kids 8 and 9 btw- bit young to be taught you're so shite Sports Day isn't for you imvho.

Thingymajigs · 25/06/2013 07:55

My children aren't sporty or competitive at all. Ds2 is well aware he will come last in most events but he is looking forward to taking part, trying to beat his personal best and being with his team. I've told him that sports day is important for the sporty children and you can't just ban a subject or event just because some children aren't as skilled in that area.
Our school runs an optional competitive sports day which he doesn't bother with but he loves the team sports day. I think this could be a good alternative for a lot of schools.

Oblomov · 25/06/2013 07:58

makes mental note to talk to teacher about this. ds1 is slowest. was placed in relay against the 2 fastest. my heart wept as they lapped him. was awful.
I try to build him up, but it is hard.

ilovexmastime · 25/06/2013 08:01

I used to be shit at swimming, but somehow found myself entered in the swimming gala one year at school (secondary). I came more than a length last in a race which was only 2 lengths long. Utterly humiliating.
However, what I took from that was that I wanted to be a better swimmer, and I am... a couple of years ago I even took part in a sea swimming race (terrifying it was too!).
Anyway, point being that even losing can teach you something and make you stronger. Although 5 may be a bit young, but you never know.

bleedingheart · 25/06/2013 08:12

I can get on board with the it's just a day, strengths and weaknesses argument but the sports week at MrButtercat's DC school sounds awful! How do they justify having children 'excluded' and sitting around for a week? Where is the learning? I'm shocked. I would die of boredom too.

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