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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

So DS1 just walked out of school today - he is eight!

81 replies

Virgil · 04/06/2013 11:51

I am inclined to go ballistic at the school. Clearly he is partly to blame and should never have left the school premises but surely they are required to prevent this!! He left something in DH's car and left school to see whether DH was still around (it was first thing). School is in the middle of a red light district (nice!) with lots of dodgy types around. Also on a very busy main road with trams going down a hill and a blind corner.

How "understanding" would you be with the Head (who is due to call me back). There is a security guard on the gate who presumably either saw him and did nothing or wasn't paying any attention.

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 04/06/2013 11:57

Where did he go and for how long was he there before the school noticed his absence?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 04/06/2013 12:00

was it before the official start of school when children were milling about coming into school and parents about etc, or had the bell gone? Had he been 'handed over' or do the kids just pile in?

(my level of annoyance would vary depending on the above)

bobthebear · 04/06/2013 12:03

It's hard to tell from your post. More information is needed before I can decide whether you need to go mad at the school.

Was it before the children had all gone in? Did your DH take DS in to school or just drop and run? Did DS just tell the security guard he'd left something in dad's car and the security guard assumed your DH was in viewing distance of your DS?

spanieleyes · 04/06/2013 12:03

I agree it would depend on the circumstances. Do parents come in and out of the gate and did your son slip out with some ( in which case he is at fault as he clearly knew e shouldn't) or are children "passed " through the gate and parents stay outside, in which case the guard is at fault as he should have noticed a child going the wrong way.

bobthebear · 04/06/2013 12:04

And how did you find out it had happened?

Original poster

Virgil · 04/06/2013 12:09

The school's system is that they are deposited in the playground in the morning. There is a teacher there supervising and also security on the gates. DH took him in and handed him over. Bell hadn't gone. No parking close to the school so it wasn't as though the security guard would have thought DS1 could see DH. School didn't notice his absence.

Fortunately (but unusually) DH was then actually still at DS2's school down the road. Another parent (from DS2's school) found DS1 in the street near to DS2's school and brought him into DS2's school.

The school is in the middle of a busy city.

I am cross.

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Original poster

Virgil · 04/06/2013 12:10

Clearly DS1 is also at fault but DS1 is eight.

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AgentProvocateur · 04/06/2013 12:11

I'd go ballistic if my DC was four, less so if he's eight. By eight, he should know not to leave the playground (if that is the rule) and have some road sense. Most children I know walk to school alone by eight (also in a busy city)

ShatnersBassoon · 04/06/2013 12:17

I wouldn't be very cross about that, but would have stern words with DS about wandering off. If the car wasn't where he thought it was he should have gone straight back into the playground.

Original poster

Virgil · 04/06/2013 12:17

He should certainly not have left the playground. But I also need to know that once he is at school he is at school and supervised. The road is really dangerous and I would never let him cross it alone. Its bad enough crossing it as an adult. He is also only just eight and young for his age.

Headteacher is new and so I'm not delighted that my first interaction with her will be about this.

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Original poster

Virgil · 04/06/2013 12:20

Hmm clearly you all think I'm being a bit overprotective. I should maybe not take the call until I calm down a bit!!

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Chubfuddler · 04/06/2013 12:22

If school had not officially started I wouldn't be very ballistic. They don't officially know he's there at that point.

Lizzylou · 04/06/2013 12:22

I don't think that you are being overprotective, the security guard/teacher in playground are there for a reason!

Stern words with DS1 and the Head I think.

FadedSapphire · 04/06/2013 12:23

Tough one as security guard not going to be able to be sure which kids in or out when such a number of parents/ children around first thing.

I would be quite stern with my just 8 year old about it saying you DO NOT leave the school under any circumstances after I/ dh have dropped you off.

Pigsmummy · 04/06/2013 12:29

Both the school and your DS are at fault.

I would be mad at the school, the security guard let an unaccompanied child go out of the gate onto a busy street with hazards such as trams. Had it not have been your DS but a smaller child who isn't as savvy the outcome could be much worse.

The 8 year old logic of trying to recover item left in the car makes sense but you need to teach your son that he shouldn't leave the school gates without checking first or being accompanied, so a stern word in his ear for future.

Chubfuddler · 04/06/2013 12:29

It's for this reason that at lots of primary schools parents now have to remain with children in the playground until the bell rings. At ds's school they go straight to their classroom from 8am and their teacher is there waiting.

redskyatnight · 04/06/2013 12:34

At 8 I think it's for your DS to realise that he must stay in the playground.

My DS goes to a junior school - the playground is nominally supervised for 10 minutes before school but in reality the teachers cannot monitor everyone going in or out nor is there any attempt for them to do so. If DS wandered off I would put the blame squarely in his court - same as I would if he'd wandered off after school (wandering incidentally if your school delivers children to parents at the end of school or just lets them out on mass?_

DiaryOfAWimpyMum · 04/06/2013 12:35

We have only recetly started having 'security' at our local school but it's the parents responsibility up until 8.50am when the bell rings.

I wonder why he left the school, I send my DS in at 8am for the breakfast club. I live in a v small village so it's very close to the house.

OrmirianResurgam · 04/06/2013 12:37

Our school clearly states that until the bell goes at the start of school the children are in the care of the parents/carers. They restate it regularly!

Original poster

Virgil · 04/06/2013 12:40

Children aren't allowed out of the school gates at all. At the end of the day they have to have an adult collecting them. They are not allowed to walk home unaccompanied.

I suspect they will say they can't monitor the children before 8.30 when they go in. In which case IMO they should make it very clear to parents that the children aren't being supervised.

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MadeOfStarDust · 04/06/2013 12:41

At our school once the child has gone in the door they are "at school" - so until then I would say you/DH are responsible for your child and their safety, not the school.

ProphetOfDoom · 04/06/2013 12:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeenAndTween · 04/06/2013 12:46

I think tbh your 8 year old is mainly at fault, as by that age he should know not to leave the school once deposited. He must be in juniors, and at that point they are meant to be vaguely sensible.

When talking to HT, maybe you could approach it with the view "I know DS is mainly at fault here but I am concerned that if he can do this then so could a younger child, do you think you need to tighten up a bit to prevent this happening with an infant?".

I do think that is he has been 'handed over' then he is the school's responsibility at that point, but I know our school supervises juniors much less than infants, as it expects them to be sensible.

Original poster

Virgil · 04/06/2013 13:26

Just missed the head's call anyway!

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MatersMate · 04/06/2013 13:30

Tricky, because atthat timeof the morning,the security probably has kids back and forth, maybe after the bell he would have clocked him.

It really is down to your DS to stay in school when you have dropped him off. Definitely calm down before talking to new head :)

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